Help! Cluster feeder through night

[Chelle2289]

Any hints tips or advice on how to survive what feels like 7 nights of no sleep due to constant breast feeding.

She sleeps all day and is up all night even though im waking her every two-three hours to feed through the day as suggested by midwife.

I'm trying to sleep when she does but with baby blues it's been easier said than done

Thanks x

Also finding it very hard to stay awake when feeding her which is terrifying me

Are you co-sleeping? I'm not big on it but found it a life saver in those early days. I would feed lying down then gently move away and sleep. Obviously no bedding or pillows around either of you. I woke as soon as she did and would feed again.

Sleeping in the day helps too if you can. It's really tough those first few weeks but gets better. Do you have someone that can take the baby in the morning?

Hey didn't want to read and run.

So my first piece of advice is to get someone to take baby for a walk in the day and get your head down. Even if it's just for 30 minutes or so. Do it. Sod the washing, cleaning etc. Sleep.

Secondly I would embrace the night feeds with some sort of phone game maybe. Like crosswords. Words with friends etc. Get Netflix up. Just distract yourself. Also any Facebook groups with other newborn mums tend to keep you going as well. Chats forms etc.

If you're really really struggling look up safe cosleeping guidelines. This way if you really need to you can get some sleep as safely as possible. Rather than just falling asleep in a chair etc.

It shouldn't last too long there is a hormonal thing that causes sleepiness during let down. Also lucozade helped me in the early days and getting dh to change nappies mid way through feeding. This is obviously depending on your set up and schedule etc.

It's tough, isn't it? How old is your little one. The first week that I was home from hospital my baby fed non-stop from 11-7. No-one warned me, so I had no idea it was normal. Do you have a co-sleeper cot? If no, consider pushing your bed against the wall, or padding the floor with pillows/an old duvet, just in case. I dropped my little one once - I woke instantly. She was fine - she fell in the cosleeper cot. Can your partner/mum/a friend look after your baby for a couple of hours every day so that you get some sleep?

I watched a lot of Amazon prime and downloaded candy crush! Really helped actually.

http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/cosleeping/

Have you got a pregnancy pillow?

My eldest used to do this a lot & I was so tired in the end I used to put the pillow around me & set him up on the breast so if I nodded off he was still attached & I wouldn't move so he was safe.

Reading/watching Netflix is another way to stay awake if you are worried about co-sleeping.

Also if you can I used to go to bed at 7pm so could sleep when he did & get "up" around 10am if we had nothing on so I was "resting."

How old is baby? DS did this for every growth spurt but it did pass.

She's only a week old today to be fair and I know it will get easier but It's just exhausting. I feel like i can't do anything or see anyone through the day because I need to sleep :(
My sisters haven't even met her yet as I was in hospital for 4/5 days then too tired when I've been home for many visitors.

I'm a bit too scared to cosleep but stating to feel it's my only option.

She has just fed for 40 mins and I managed to get her settled in her crib and only 10 mins later she wakes wanting to be fed more. Checked nappy and tried to rock her to sleep but no luck and it's like that all the time.

I want to express so my partner can try help me before he goes back to work which is only another week away, but I'm unable to express enough for a bottle and been told not to pump yet.

Finding it quite hard to cope now

I know it is exhausting do you have good midwife support where you are? I think we were still able to access the community midwives for 28 days after birth and they can come out to you for support, check latch etc. Be honest with them about how you're coping and feeling they will understand and help you without judgement, this is totally normal! I would suggest a breastfeeding support group but it sounds as though you're too knackered in the daytime to go to one so that's why I suggest midwives first. Can someone else have baby for everything bar feeding during the day so you can get your head down? And if you want DH to give a bottle for a break don't feel guilty, your baby needs you not to be broken from exhaustion and one bottle isn't going to hurt anything.

Also yes to safe cosleeping! Check out the sleepyhead, I don't know much about them but saw them AFTER all of the terrible nights and wished I'd bought one!!

At a week old this is normal & she's building your supply.

I know it's hard but don't worry about visitors until you're feeling rested unless they can help you.

I could never express in the whole 18 months of breastfeeding my eldest, sometimes you just can't.

It really will pass, just sleep when she does, if your partner isn't working can he try to settle her if you have done a long feed as the smell of your milk could be waking her up further so that you could try to get a hour or so?

I know exactly how you're feeling and completely understand that worry about falling asleep while feeding.

Also understand feeling like you should be doing things in the daytime or seeing people. Honestly though, at the moment, the most important thing you can do is sleep in the day! I had to give in to being up all night for a little bit - lots of snacks, films/tv series to watch etc and sometimes I didn't bother going to bed. This was a personal decision because it stopped me feeling dangerously sleepy.

If you can master feeding laying down and want to co-sleep it's helped a lot of my friends. I still haven't quite got the hang of it and DS is 4 months old.

Don't worry about expressing yet - it takes up too much valuable sleeping time.

It will pass but the first few weeks are tough you're doing brilliantly!

Firstly know that this will get better. It's temporary. Why did they say wake for feeds in the day? Feeding on demand means just that. Let them sleep if they are sleeping.
I started giving expressed milk at two weeks. Everything I read said don't wait till six weeks as they will refuse bottle then. Assuming you have a good latch it's fine to start now. I found early morning 6am best time to express. Keep your pump in a lunchbox by bed ready to go. Do it while you're feeding on the other boob. Give it a massage first.

I also liked a nice coffee about 10pm before the night shift and sometimes took a thermos up with me. Be careful the lid is on though.

Keep the lights dim in the bedroom and speak quietly so she starts to know the difference. Get a night light if you've not already.

And Congratulations!

'Night time waking is the result of healthy biology. During these early weeks breastfed babies are hungrier at night than during the day. Your newborn’s hunger naturally corresponds to the rise of your breastfeeding hormones after midnight. These late-night feedings serve to help you to build a strong milk supply. Over time, the situation will evolve, and your baby will sleep more at night and be awake for more hours during the day.' From Alphaparent Timeline of a Breastfed Baby

It's so hard in the early weeks so take advantage of your partner during the day for naps if you can. Also see if he can just hold the baby while you get an hour or two between night feedings.

I couldn't nurse and cosleep until about a month when they get a little more neck control so I'd just get a good book on my phone and know that I was going to be awake for most of the night in those first weeks. It's reallly tough though so do whatever it takes to get through it. It will get easier. Congratulations on your new baby!

Only a week?! You poor thing. Your sleep exhaustion sounds normal and expected. Her feeding sounds healthy.

Who told you not to pump? When I had both my babies in a (very posh) hospital they brought a pump in within a few days so I could express ready to get a little break at night. It was great!

As for more info about that. Seems like weird advice.

How you doing @Chelle2289 ? Xxx

"She has just fed for 40 mins and I managed to get her settled in her crib and only 10 mins later she wakes wanting to be fed more."

Give her a dummy.

Don't give her a dummy it will interfere with feeding. They are also building your supply at this stage, so on the boobs all the time while they get it going.

It's also totally normal for a week old baby to wake when you put them down, especially at night. They like to be close to you, you are all they know. Keeping a hand on her for a bit initially while she sleeps might help settle her, or co-sleeping so she can feel you're close by.

I'm not big on co-sleeping at all but DD would not settle in the first few weeks with out it. By six weeks she was in the cot pretty much most the night and slept through at 8 weeks! She just needed me in those early days.

Please don't give her a dummy op.

It is normal for babies to feed this much, she's trying to build up your milk, it's not a nice phrase but it does calm down.

I would look at co sleeping, I had to do it with my kids just to try and get some sleep x

www.thealphaparent.com/2011/12/timeline-of-breastfed-baby.html?m=1

This is definitely worth a read, if only to reassure you it's all normal.

"Don't give her a dummy it will interfere with feeding"

Don't be ridiculous. Tose of us who didn't go all night with babies stuck to breast manage to breastfeed perfectly well.

There are no prizes handed out for avoiding dummies, OP. It saved my sanity with both breastfed babies. If yours is feeding for 40 minutes and then wants breast 10 minutes later, that means she is using you as a dummy.

Oh bless you.

A week is still so tiny. Up until mine was about 6-8 weeks old he would cluster feed for about 4 hours straight between 11pm and 3am. Me and DH used to stick Box Sets on and just accept the inevitable. It was exhausting though, it was awful.

I wouldn't be giving a breast fed baby a dummy this early on. I introduced one at 6 weeks and it had a huge impact on DS's feeding patterns so I stopped him using it.

Your baby needs to suckle to make your body produce milk. If baby is sucking on a dummy instead of suckling on you then your body is missing lots of signals to make milk.

The hormones involved in milk production are at their highest late at night and into the early hours of the morning hence why night time cluster feeding is normal and necessary to encourage a good milk supply.

You have my sympathy OP because it's really hard. The first 8 or so weeks of my baby's life were awful because I was so exhausted and the feeding was constant but it did eventually settle down.

I'm due DC2 in 8 weeks and I'm mentally preparing myself for the nightmare to begin again

Thank you everyone for your kind replies.

I was told not to pump because it would make more milk produce than the baby needs therefore making me engorge? But I had 24 hours in hospital where I had to bottle feed her formula (needed cat scan and they failed to mention You can't bf for 24 hours due to the dye and I wasn't told to express) and they let me use the pump to ease the pain as my boobs became very swollen.

I think my baby does want to cosleep as she only seems happy on me or right next to me so may need to look into that xx

Get the co sleeping book Three in a Bed by Deborah Jackson, it's probably 99p on Amazon. It goes into all the safety stuff, as well as why it's better for your baby ( cultures where co sleeping is done by everyone don't have cot death). And researches who found that sleeping mums, actually check that newborn's temperature and position in their sleep!
Most of the safety stuff involves adults not being drink or drugged, and putting rolled up towels in any gaps between bed and wall.
It is also good for preserving sanity.
Best of luck op, remember it is all about phases, and the first 3 months is a really particular time, it will get easier.
Both of mine were summer babies too, which I really appreciated. I couldn't have learned to bf through layers of wool....

Seems like the feeds are never ending now she's now wanting to be fed all day as well as being up wanting to be fed all last night 😞

When are you next due to see the Midwife?