Help! Cluster feeder through night

[Chelle2289]

Any hints tips or advice on how to survive what feels like 7 nights of no sleep due to constant breast feeding.

She sleeps all day and is up all night even though im waking her every two-three hours to feed through the day as suggested by midwife.

I'm trying to sleep when she does but with baby blues it's been easier said than done

Thanks x

How is her weight?

Saw midwife today and she was weighed, has put on 4oz since birth a week ago. She was 8lb 3 when born x

Great! What did the midwife say about the constant feeding?

That weight gain is brilliant especially as it's expected for babies to lose weight initially. It just goes to prove how wonderfully you are doing and how well she is feeding.

The cluster feeding will settle down it's just very hard for the first 6-8 weeks.

Remember though that if you reach a point where you feel like you're going to crack up (I've been there) then a bottle of formula every now and then won't harm her as long as you express before or afterwards to make up for the fact she isn't having a feed off you.

They said it's all normal
But she wasn't wanting hourly feeds this morning 😥

Considering trying to express with my pump would that be a bad idea?

So you can give it to her in a bottle you mean?

There's no harm in doing that as a one off but the more bottles you give the higher the chance she will stop breast feeding as feeding from a bottle is a whole different mechanism to breast feeding and because it's easier for babies to drink from a bottle they can cometimes favour that and then start refusing the breast.

This doesn't happen with all babies though and some happily switch from breast to bottle with no problems.

A pump is not as effective as draining milk than a baby is so you may find you can't actually express much but this is no reflection on your milk supply. You already know you have good volumes of milk due to her weight gain to don't be disheartened if you don't express much. If that is the case though be aware that as well as giving the expressed milk you may have to give some formula too if she's still hungry and you wanted a break from breast feeding.

Yeah just so my partner can try feed her while I try get sleep but I just don't know what is best. She is practically using me as a dummy though as she will only settle when she's on me x

That's how new babies act OP - you are all they've known for 9 months and nothing gives them more comfort than being with their mother. She may be suckling for comfort but that's just what babies do, she just wants to be near you and that's completely normal.

Have you ever heard of the Fourth Trimester? If not Google it and it may help you see that your baby is behaving normally and help you understand why she acts like she does. I just don't want you to start doubting or questioning your baby or your parenting when there's nothing to worry about

It's so, so hard OP but it genuinely sounds like you're doing an amazing job.

Have a go at expressing, see what you get and take it from there. Even if she just has one bottle that enables you to get some sleep then you may feel like a different woman when you wake up and feel mentally ready to face more feeding sessions

I appreciate all the kind replies. I understand this is normal it's just so exhausting. I thought I had prepared myself for this but had no idea what cluster feeding was until now

It's horrible, I know, those of us who have been there completely sympathise

Just look after yourself though and like I said, the odd bottle won't harm, you do whatever it takes to survive these first few weeks. I let myself get into such an exhausted state over breast feeding when I had my DS that I was in quite a bad place emotionally and it ruined the first 6-8 weeks of that new baby phase which I do regret. Just be kind to yourself and do whatever feels right

Try and catch up a bit with sleep in the morning while she's not wanting to feed as much and your partner is home.

Most babies take around three weeks to orientate to day and night, so you are almost half way. Keeping nights quiet and dark, and days light with normal noise levels helps them to know the difference quickly.

It's hard going and a shock how demanding those first few weeks are but it sounds like you are doing brilliantly.

It's really is totally normal that she wants to be with you. She lived in your body until last week, so it's natural she wants the reassurance of being as close to you as possible just while she finds her feet with the world. You are the only familiar thing to her right now but it will change as she gets used to the world and can feel safer being put down etc.

I had a glorious 7 hour stretch with DD at around a week old when I realised co-sleeping was the only way to go at that moment. I honestly felt like a new person after that.

I know midwives say don't express first couple of weeks which i followed with DS1 but with DS2 I expressed early on so I could get others to help with feeding. I just always expressed when others fed the baby or did it shortly after he was fed with bottle.

Co-sleeping helped with both DS1 and DS2 because I was breastfeeding.

Babies want to be close to you and want constant breastfeeding for milk, comfort & nurturing.

Maybe put a breast pad where baby is sleeping to keep baby more settled when you aren't close By or a scarf for muslin cloth that smells of you... or bet your babies sheet from Moses basket and keep it on you so it starts to smell of you and put it back on mattress.

Sleep in the day when baby sleeps... it will do you the world of good

Great thing about breastfeeding it makes you more relaxed and puts you in a deep sleep too! I know it won't feel like that way first second week but it will soon.

Also breastmilk during evening and night is meant to put baby to sleep longer rather that day milk! They say! lol don't seem that way early days because baby sleeps all the time lol

With my first baby I was told not to express till 6 weeks for the reasons you state so I waited. Then at six weeks I tried and it was really hard and took a week or more to finally get any quantities out and by that time my baby totally refused the bottle (even though he's taken one at a week old when I had emergency surgery). This became a massive issue for me. He consistently refused the bottle until 6 months old and I hated breastfeeding on demand and was desperate for my other half to take over occasionally. I got terribly depressed and it wasn't good for me or my baby. (Solved it by eventually doing a brilliant breastfeeding routine but that's another story)
With my second baby I didn't want to fall into the same trap so took advice and expressed from day 5 or 6. Very little came out initially (I only expressed for short periods straight after a feed) but it was brilliant at increasing my supply and keeping baby happier. I froze all milk in early days. Then started using a bottle at about a week and a half with expressed milk. (Sometimes fresh some frozen) She took it brilliantly and there was never any nipple confusion. We continued breastfeeding and giving a nighttime bottle and it worked beautifully and I was so much happier. So my personal experience is that expressing early was the right thing to do and giving a bottle early was also right for me and saved my sanity and allowed me to continue breastfeeding.