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Original poster

child protection

26 replies

user1498131454 · 22/06/2017 12:43

They have got in touch with me about my 16 year old ds.
Apparently he was in touch with a 12 year old girl on social media.
He said she wouldn't leave him alone so he deliberately acted off with her to get rid of her.
He said he cant remember what was said exactly but that he argued with her and that she said she was 14.
They want him to come and have a interview shortly to speak to him.
I am concerned and my son is worrying about it.
Has anybody any experience with this sort of thing.

OP posts:
BubbleGuppie · 22/06/2017 12:50

Get him to print out all message history. The age bit doesnt matter aslong as they didnt arrange to meet up or sexual things were said as she would be underage either way. Police will more than likely have them anyway but always good to have a plan just in case especially if you don't know what she has told the police. If its facebook then they don't usually get deleted and you can go on the computer and select messages deleted and they will be there.

The girls parents may have found messages or she has told them your son n her argued and just be concerned

Original poster
user1498131454 · 22/06/2017 12:53

He said the messages are all deleted.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1498131454 · 22/06/2017 12:53

He also said its been about 2 months ago.

OP posts:
VintagePerfumista · 22/06/2017 12:56

Do you mean the police?

Everything is deleted? Messenger? Whatasapp?

Maybe the 12 yr hasn't deleted everything.

abbsisspartacus · 22/06/2017 12:57

Recover them if you can

Original poster
user1498131454 · 22/06/2017 12:59

Its the child protection unit at the police station.
Its Instagram

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Original poster
user1498131454 · 22/06/2017 13:00

My son can be so difficult to talk to about anything so argumentative.

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Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 22/06/2017 13:02

I would expect her parents will be asked why she had an account at 12. .

Was your ds 16 2 months ago?
She must still have the messages if it's been reported.

BubbleGuppie · 22/06/2017 13:03

Doesn't matter if she deleted them they will still show on your sons account just won't have her name or picture on even if they block each other. Either way the police will get them if they need to.

Original poster
user1498131454 · 22/06/2017 13:03

yes he was 16 December

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Original poster
user1498131454 · 22/06/2017 13:05

He has always been a good lad never been in trouble.
Polite at school etc.

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Original poster
user1498131454 · 22/06/2017 13:06

But he can have a terrible attitude if someone is annoying him

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ArtemisiaGentilleschi · 22/06/2017 13:06

Nice bit of victim blaming there. If this 16 yr old has been grooming a 12 yr old then her having an Instagram account isn't going to give him a free pass.

Do you think they met up OP?

Paperdolly · 22/06/2017 13:09

The police are able to bring up all activity, Deleted or not, on any tech equip if required. They both need to come clean about their activities to save time and consequences.

BubbleGuppie · 22/06/2017 13:12

If nothing sexual was said then he'll be fine maybe a telling off for arguing and a warning to say he needs to know who he's talking to. If there was then he will be in a lot of trouble.

If the messages are gone, he's deleted them which will look suspicious

I've been in a situation where I was 13 and had to prove to police a boy was intimidating me and being sexual so sorry for jumping on the whole sexual thing but he does need to know even if it was once or a joke, he needs to tell you as she is under 14 its her parents who decide to press charges not her even if she knows they where innocent.

Wolfiefan · 22/06/2017 13:17

He's difficult to talk to and has a terrible attitude? He had better drop that ASAP before the police call him in. Did he threaten her or was it a potential sexual offence?
He needs to show you the messages and start cooperating.

Original poster
user1498131454 · 22/06/2017 13:19

He said they are all deleted.
I said I will try and get instagram to recover them but he is been argumentative

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Original poster
user1498131454 · 22/06/2017 13:21

He will drop the attitude with the police.
Its just me and his dad that he gets mouthy with and obviously this girl.

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twattymctwatterson · 22/06/2017 13:24

Honestly I'd be concerned by the fact that he's being argumentative and saying the messages are all deleted

LIZS · 22/06/2017 13:26

If he is innocent why argue about recovering messages. Is he aware that police could seize his phone, laptop etc and do a forensic search? I'm not sure you have the full story tbh.

BubbleGuppie · 22/06/2017 13:36

All he has to do is recover the messages. Any teenager can do this. Im 23 and learnt this at school haha unless he's had something to hide and deleted them and then deleted the messages in the deleted folder. I'd take his phone and go on saved data and go through message history.l, what's app, snapchat, photos he won't mind if there's nothing to hide. Will still be there on computer if u plug it in using the usb as it can't be deleted

aginghippy · 22/06/2017 13:39

If he is being argumentative, I would not bother trying to help him. He clearly does not want your help. The police can recover the messages if they need to.

Encourage him to be 100% honest and cooperative with the police. That will get the best outcome for him. He is nearly an adult and needs to take responsibility for his actions.

"She wouldn't leave me alone so I deliberately acted off with her to get rid of her," is at best trying to evade responsibility for his actions, at worst an outright lie. Agree with pp, you have not got the full story.

Clalpolly · 22/06/2017 14:19

Being argumentative gets him nowhere. If he can't get that and is shutting you out then he will be stuck dealing with this on his own.
And she is very young- the "she is to blame too argument " isn't going to get him very far.

fannydaggerz · 22/06/2017 14:26

I hope you get this all sorted OP

joannegrady90 · 22/06/2017 14:28

You need to explain to him that she's only a child.
Do you you think your son may be attractive to young girls op?
Please don't be offended, hopefully it all gets sorted.

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