New born wont stop feeding- what am I doing wrong??

[Smurfy23]

Hi

PFB is only 3 days old- birth went on for a 3 days and was quite stressful for both of us. Have been breastfeeding her on demand- had been going fine (or so I thought) but then last night she wouldnt settle unless she was being fed. Fine- fed her until she released herself but then 5 minutes later she would be looking for food again (DH's right nipple is still recovering!). It started at 11ish last night- at about 2 we gave in and gave her some formula which she wolfed down....but then a few minutes later was looking for food and getting more and more angry when it wasnt immediately available. This went on until just after 5 am. I went to sleep then and DH took over- naturally shes been an angel since then, has slept and taken 30ml of formula twice.

I had wanted to start expressing today so we can see how much shes getting...should I still? Is it okay for us to top up with formula esp at night time? More importantly- what happened to my calm and placid baby last night???

Any help gratefully received- please be gentle, im tired!!

Totally agree @KathyBeale it upsets me how I see similar threads over and over again.

Poor old OP has had advice, attended classes and got still very simple information about the realities of the early days haven't been passed on.

I was never told about cluster feeding. I just remember being a few days in and remember seeing the word in the past. It was only googling it I realised.

Half my due date group with my daughter has no idea what colostrum was and assumed they had to give formula till their milk came in.

Several people who had early babies were only told a couple of days after (what was already an incredible stressful time) that they should have been pumping and then struggled to get the right hospital grade equipment.

I'm expecting dc2 and although I'm excited I'm also realistic the first few weeks are going to be tough and that's with prior knowledge. I can't imagine how horrendous women end up feeling when faced with that and not having any knowledge or information prior.

It's actually very difficult to prepare mothers for the intensity of the first days and weeks. I can be more or less 100 per cent sure that antenatal classes do cover this aspect - cluster feeding - but they may not emphasise or SHOUT about it, and experiencing it is different from reading or hearing about it.

Just to clarify a couple of points - never give newborns water. It's not necessary no matter how hot the weather, and it can be harmful. It's also a hassle. I'm horrified to hear a midwife recommended this. And 'cluster feeding' does NOT mean continuously feeding with no break at all....if a baby literally feeds with no break at all, this is NOT normal and raises concerns about milk transfer. Cluster feeding is a series of many feeds with short breaks, while the baby naps or just has a break to burp or hang out next to mum. Typically a period of cluster feeding is followed by a longer sleep. And then another period of cluster feeding.

You're only in day 3, you'll be starting to get your supply through.

Bear in mind that colostrum is thicker than normal milk and your baby will need to feed more often.

Make sure your baby is checked for tongue tie and that the latch is good.

Try not to top up with formula as it will affect your supply at this crucial time.

Be kind to yourself, establishing breastfeeding is really hard and painful for the first few weeks. Stick with it and make sure you get help, tea, biscuits and 10 mins for a shower.

Good luck, you'll do great!

Glad today is better for you, just to make you aware doctors and midwives sometimes miss tongue ties even when they're looking for them which has been my experience and some of my friends too.
My DD was checked by a paediatrician and two midwives in hospital who all said she was fine, it was only when she was 3 weeks old and feeding problems were continuing that a community midwife checked again and diagnosed a posterior tongue tie she asked me to get it confirmed by a lactation consultant and she was right! So it might be worth get an LC to check just in case.