New born wont stop feeding- what am I doing wrong??

[Smurfy23]

Hi

PFB is only 3 days old- birth went on for a 3 days and was quite stressful for both of us. Have been breastfeeding her on demand- had been going fine (or so I thought) but then last night she wouldnt settle unless she was being fed. Fine- fed her until she released herself but then 5 minutes later she would be looking for food again (DH's right nipple is still recovering!). It started at 11ish last night- at about 2 we gave in and gave her some formula which she wolfed down....but then a few minutes later was looking for food and getting more and more angry when it wasnt immediately available. This went on until just after 5 am. I went to sleep then and DH took over- naturally shes been an angel since then, has slept and taken 30ml of formula twice.

I had wanted to start expressing today so we can see how much shes getting...should I still? Is it okay for us to top up with formula esp at night time? More importantly- what happened to my calm and placid baby last night???

Any help gratefully received- please be gentle, im tired!!

It is normal, you are doing nothing wrong.

Breast milk is amazing stuff, one of the reasons being that it changes consistency depending on how warm or cold the weather so the milk your baby is getting now will be perfect for keeping her hydrated in this heat. Just make sure you keep yourself hydrated too.

agree with PPs this is totally normal. babies are often tired for first couple of days after birth but by day 3 they are hungry added to that we are in middle of heat wave.

it's not advisable to start expressing this early unless under medical advice for top up purposes or if baby unable to latch. expressing won't tell you now much baby is getting and at this stage may confuse your supply. it won't be like this forever honestly your baby is getting your milk to come in- it should arrive by day 5. hang in there - you are doing great.

Google the fourth trimester

This is totally normal and it's actually necessary. Newborns do this instinctively to help your milk come in.

My baby is 4 weeks old and I experienced something similar. I had a traumatic birth and both me and baby struggled to bf as a consequence, so like you on the third day I topped up at night with formula when nothing else would settle her and she simply wouldn't stop crying to feed. I continued one formula feed at night for a few days, and bf the rest until my milk finally came in a week later. I was able to go 100% bf after this, but she is still a cluster feeder at night. Don't worry it's all normal. The more you bf the more milk you'll make, but my mw said I was right to top up as my baby was starving and getting too distressed. The mw also told me to boil water and allow to cool, and then using a bottle encourage your baby to drink very small amounts throughout the day. If you are thirstier in this heat, then so is your baby. You need to keep very hydrated but giving your baby a bit of water should help.

I'm sure many others have said this, but you're not doing anything wrong. My babies fed loads early on and it all settled to a decent enough pattern. My July baby was noticeably more frequent at feeding and I guess it was to do with heat and keeping up fluids. It is exhausting though. Drink plenty - I couldn't face water and so I'm afraid I drank Capri sun pouches by the dozen. Whatever you can face

Please check with a dr before giving a newborn water. It can seriously damage their kidneys. Formula or bm for 6 months unless advised by a medical professional.

Completely normal
Think we had 3 nights where she pretty much fed all night at that stage
They have no idea whether day / night, just hungry
Gets easier from that point on

This is totally normal and healthy. Your baby is feeding in order to set up a strong milk supply. Breastfeeding is a supply anx demand system in your body. The more baby sucks the more milk your body will produce.

TRy feeding lying down so you can get some rest while the baby feeds

Please don't give water! Breastmilk is 88% water giving additional water could lead to water toxicity which is extremely dangerous in a newborn.

The most important thing is that this will definitely pass. You'll find there are stages of it over the coming couple of months but it isn't constant.

If you're keen to breastfeed I wouldn't give formula as it will just damage your supply.

Sounds perfectly normal. It's exhausting and hard work but once I accepted that I would be pinned to the sofa all evening, it made things a lttle easer for me. I would hesitate on topping up with formula as she is building your supply at the moment and she won't be ordering as much as she needs as she's getting it elsewhere. I wish the health care professionals would give this information out before mum's have their babies. I had to Google it!

Sounds perfectly normal. It's exhausting and hard work but once I accepted that I would be pinned to the sofa all evening, it made things a lttle easer for me. I would hesitate on topping up with formula as she is building your supply at the moment and she won't be ordering as much as she needs as she's getting it elsewhere. I wish the health care professionals would give this information out before mum's have their babies. I had to Google it!

Have you never spoken to anyone with a baby before or read anything about breastfeeding? Not meaning to be rude at all but you're about to completely destroy your breastfeeding relationship if you're not careful.
Don't give formula top ups. Don't express. Don't try to get her to stop feeding. Just keep feeding her and be patient. Newborns are hard work! But it passes.

Good luck, this is exactly what my first did. He's just finished his GCSEs so I just about managed not to sell him. It's so tiring, it's hot, but I promise it will not be forever! Xxx

adalind There are ways of saying things to people, be kind to OP

Thank you all for your support and help. Have had a very emotional 24 hours (the hormones of the milk coming in plus the various emotional and physical scars of the labour havent helped!). I'll be honest I was petrified of feeding her today in case it would upset her or wasn't enough but persevered and today was good. Went into tonight with more of a strategy in place with DH and it seems to be a bit more effective than last night....so far...

In answer to some questions- she was checked for tongue tie in the hospital because latching on could be a bit hit or miss when on the ward but they couldnt pick up any problems.

To the PP who asked if I had actually spoken to anyone or read anything beforehand: yes, I had. I had also been on the NCT course, the local NHS breast feeding talk, spoken to numerous midwifes on the labour ward and spent a lot of time on both google and Pinterest. No, continual feeding with no breaks in it had not come up as being normal and something to be expected. Maybe I am naive but Ive not done this before.

But thank you again- I do appreciate it

I found the constant feeding a big shock, despite having done lot of research.
I was still in hospital at 3days and was convinced something was wrong when he fed all night long!
Keep going, it does get easier. You're healing (mentally and physically)from birth, plus you have brand new baby and all the hormones flying around.
I found the wonder weeks app helpful to give a reason for the crazy feeding.

Have you got a local breastfeeding group you could visit? I attended one and the most helpful bit was the commiseration from other parents at a similar stage of growth spurts and feeding! It's bloody hard work at the beginning, but it really does get easier

Thank you- will try the local baby cafe next week I think if I can (definitely not able for it this week!).

You're right about sharing experiences- even posting on here and hearing that I'm not alone and others have had it too has been really helpful

Congratulations OP.

It's normal. Not every baby has the same appetite or grows at the same pace so not every mother experiences what you are. I had the same with dd1. Dd2 was similar but I could at least put her down between feeds for an hour. Ds1 was a dream or I can't remember.

Remember (and repeat to yourself) "everything at this age is JUST A STAGE". It will pass. Promise.

Sorry. I failed to breastfeed and it broke my heart. I didn't mean to be rude but it's so important not to sabotage it at this crucial stage.

This sort of worry is what makes me so annoyed about breastfeeding advice. I had a dreadful time feeding my first and then ebf my second, and the reason it went so well the second time, I believe, is because I knew how bloody hard it was going to be.

I honestly believe they should tell pregnant women the truth - breastfeeding is brilliant and way easier than formula feeding eventually. But the first days are awful and all you will do is feed and it will hurt even if you're doing it properly because nipples are sensitive and babies suck really hard. And you will be so tired you will genuinely wonder if you might die. And when your milk comes in you are quite likely to cry for 24 hours straight.

OP this is absolutely normal and it is hellish but honestly in a few weeks you will be so pleased you persevered when you can feed your baby at any time, in any place. Breastfeeding is brilliant and lovely but it does take a lot of pain to get to that place.

If you can get to a local breastfeeding clinic they are amazing and very reassuring. When your midwife next comes to visit, ask her what local breastfeeding help there is. Congratulations and keep going, OP. The first 3 weeks are so hard.

KathyBeale I totally agree!