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Parenting

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Original poster

HV says I should train her. I can't be fagged. Opinions please.

29 replies

Cappuccino · 19/03/2007 09:47

dd2 is 2 and a couple of months. HV says I should start 'showing her the potty'

but it is a pita. She wants to sit on the toilet for ages wiping herself with endless bits of tissue shouting 'my wee wee' but she doesn't do this damn wee wee or even sit still long enough to try, just hops on and off a lot

it takes ages

then she runs around without her nappy on screaming 'my wee wee' when you try to put it back on

I think she just wants to copy us rather than actually go; there are no signs or anything

I don't want to bother yet. I can't be arsed trying to train a mad child. Can I just keep her in nappies for a bit longer? What's the rush exactly?

OP posts:

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expatinscotland · 19/03/2007 09:48

I don't understand all this pressure to train them up.

When they're ready, they'll let you know.

turquoise · 19/03/2007 09:50

Trust your instincts - if you don't think she's ready, then don't bother. It'll take forever, drive you both mental, whereas if you wait till she's really ready it'll take no time, and the weather will be warmer (less clothes for the endless washing).
Mother knows best

Original poster

Cappuccino · 19/03/2007 09:50

I think she thinks I'm too cool about it cos dd1 is disabled and didn't train till she was four

I think she thinks I'm just going to keep her in nappies till then so they're the same

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eidsvold · 19/03/2007 09:51

no rush at all. My dd2 is 2y 4 months and she just likes to sit on the potty like her older sister and likes to see us on the loo. As to doing anything herself - nope. She can barely pull her pull up nappies up and down - I figure when she does that better then we might start doing something. We also have a new baby on the way - no way am I even starting to do something about it with dd2.

I am going to wait until closer to three - later in the year when things are more settled.

My dd2 is one who choses when she does things eg walking - she could walk around 12 months - BUT could not be arsed until around 18 months and she just took off - no tottering, no stumbling - just walking everywhere. Think her toileting will be like that too.

eidsvold · 19/03/2007 09:53

cappa - my 4 1/2 yo (also sn) is jsut starting to show signs of being ready for toileting. Funnily enough she will ask and go at sn kindy and mainstream kindy - at home - we are lucky if it happens twice a week. Dd1 is just been able to dress and undress herself so now that that skill is in place we can focus more on the toileting.

Original poster

Cappuccino · 19/03/2007 09:54

good luck with that eidsvold

tbh it was nursery who really trained dd1

OP posts:

themildmanneredjanitor · 19/03/2007 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fennel · 19/03/2007 09:56

I wouldn't bother if she doesn't seem ready. my dd3 is currently being "trained" only because she is 3 next month, and I am feeling the social pressure to have her out of nappies (from pre-school especially) but frankly she's useless. She is less ready than her sister dd1 did at just 2, or her dd2 sister at 18 months.

FrannyandZooey · 19/03/2007 09:57

Oh no, don't bother. If you wait till they are about 3 it is soooooo easy and not puddles everywhere and wet knickers which are so skanky

fennel · 19/03/2007 09:58

btw we didn't train dd2 at 18 months but she did show more signs of readiness then than dd3 does at nearly 3. yours is quite young still compared to many.

fennel · 19/03/2007 09:59

not my experience, F&Z. we have more wet knickers with nearly 3 year old than we did with a just 2yo and a nearly 2yo.

fifitheflowertotslayer · 19/03/2007 09:59

i wouldnt worry about it yet.she will let you know when shes ready.my ds2 was 3 and half when he finally stopped wearing nappies and went straight to the toilet,so we didnt even need to try the potty.

dd3 is now 2.8 and is still in nappies.we have sat her on it but she just wants to put things inside it instead of peeing in it!!mind you im pretty glad atm that she doesnt use it,she has cf and has the runs 99% of the time and im pg and dont think i could cope with any accidents!!!

she might even surprise you by taking her nappy off herself and asking for the potty,my dd2 did and it was so much less stressfull than trying to make her sit on the potty!

FrannyandZooey · 19/03/2007 09:59

Fennel I would suggest your nearly 3 yo is not quite ready then?

piglit · 19/03/2007 10:01

Ds1 is 2.4 and nowhere near being potty trained. I'm not even going to try until I think he's ready. He knows what the potty is for but puts it on his head and marches around with it on. Sigh.

ChippyMinton · 19/03/2007 10:02

Agree with the other posters - don't bother until she's ready. The benefits of leaving it are: no endless chasing around with potty, no washing, no ruined carpets. The only stress is explaining to nosey people why your DC is still in pull-ups.

TrinityRhino · 19/03/2007 10:02

Please don't be pressured by your HV, listen to your own instincts

Original poster

Cappuccino · 19/03/2007 10:02

fine will wait till three then

use cloth nappies so it's not as if it's costing me anything

thanks so much. I am sick of my hv. I don't agree with anything she says. In fact I think I shall stop having children just to make sure I can get rid of her

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 19/03/2007 10:04

Don't 'train' her. She's not a puppy.

I 'trained' (ha!) my eldest at 2.5 and it took ages and he wasn't really clean or dry for years TBH. I waited until DD was interested - we had the potty in the bathroom available from about 2.5yrs and I bought her knickers to try to encourage her but that was as far as the training went. At exactly 3yrs of age she did it for herself overnight and completely. Perhaps one or two accidents that was all. DS#2 followed the same pattern - he trained himself later than DD at about 3.5 but he did even better than she did. I can honestly say that he has never had an accident. Stress-free for us and him.

TrinityRhino · 19/03/2007 10:05

alot of people(not including my HV cause I'm really lucky and have a competent nice one ) were telling me to train my 20 month old whilst I was pregnant with dd3. She is in no way ready yet at all and I just tho9ught that trying to do it with the new abby due soon was a sill idea. I will think about whether she is ready when the weather is warmer but even then if she is not ready I am not going to try and rush her into it.

fennel · 19/03/2007 10:06

F&Z, I agree, I don't think she is really. but possibly some children are never "naturally" ready, I don't know.

FrannyandZooey · 19/03/2007 12:44

Yes good point fennel. Ds was over 3 when we tried it, I don't think he would have been ready beforehand. I did notice that the longer my friends left it, the fewer problems they reported (and the fewer puddles on everyone's floors including mine )

but this is not exactly a scientific study

dither · 19/03/2007 12:51

fwiw, my dss didnt get out of nappies till he was 5! and that, i beleive, was the result of people mishandling it and trying to train him too early and the stubborn wee bugger sticking his heels in as a result.

so dont do it too early at all. do it when it feels right. and so blinkin what if she is 4?? im sure both of you will be sick of nappies and into pants sooner than that anyway, but its hardly going to kill her if she isnt is it??

my ds1 only just got properly dry pretty recently, when he started in a nursery class where everyone lese was. and hes 3.9. so there. and ds2 is 2.8 and he's still in nappies, though, like you, is mostly coz i cant be fagged to get him on the potty! (he is ready though, and will be doing it soon)

but upshot is, go with your gut (pardon the pun) and do it how you want to. silly hv.

doggiesayswoof · 19/03/2007 12:53

I'm currently 'training' dd who is 2.7 and (kind of) ready. My sister had been trying to persuade me to start a few months ago, because my niece was dry at 2.3. But I knew dd was not ready at that age. they are all different -go with your instincts I think. BTW am interested about why you see your HV at all (is it because of dd1?) I've not seen mine since dd had mmr.

IKWYM about the endless wiping and it all taking ages - even now with dd I am having to find endless stores of patience... need to set aside 20 mins or so for a pee

hillary · 19/03/2007 12:55

Oh Health Visitors your dd will tell you when she's ready not your HV.

She's got the idea just needs a little more time and encouragement. If you stress out so will she then it will become a fight & that never works. You both need to be ready & only you two will know when that is maybe next week or in 6 months time! Not to be rushed.

CheesyFeet · 19/03/2007 13:09

My dd is 2.8 and we've had a couple of half hearted attempts with no success. She'll do it when she decides she wants to. Every couple of months or so I give it a try for three or four days and then postpone it if we don't seem to be getting anywhere. No point forcing the issue.

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