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Parenting

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Original poster

I've dropped my baby onto the hardfloor face first.

144 replies

Sashasays · 26/05/2017 06:13

I am traumatized. She's acting normal & only cried once but I am taking her to the hospital now to have her checked. I feel so stupid I can't stop crying, she fell of the sofa quite a far distance. I'm such a bad mum

OP posts:

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NorthernLurker · 26/05/2017 07:55

Honestly op we've all done this. I tripped putting dd1 in the pushchair and she hit her head on a chair. It caused a sort of dent, almost a cut on her forehead. I ran out of the house and round to nearby a and e with her in my arms, telling her she couldn't fall asleep! She was 18 months so quite heavy. When I got to a and e I plonked her on the counter and they said 'how can we help' and that was it I just burst in of floods of tears. They looked at dd, saw the dent and said 'oh I see!' They were terribly kind to me. I was only 22 and like you it just felt like the worst thing ever. That dd is now studying medicine btw.

NorthernLurker · 26/05/2017 07:56

They won't be involving ss. It's an accident, she's ok and you've acted absolutely appropriately.

RedCrab · 26/05/2017 07:57

OP I do know the feeling of being horrified at what you've done but it was an accident. It must be so hard being on your own - it's such a huge responsibility but you need to toughen up a bit with regards to how you see yourself because there'll be a million more times like this - some the "fault" of your DD as she becomes a toddler and child and has accidents, and some your "fault" as you misjudge things. And you will - you cannot be a perfect all-seeing, all-knowing parent able to forsee all problems ahead of time. No one can. The only way to survive the emotional rollercoaster of parenting is to learn how to cut yourself a bit of slack ❤

When we brought my first child home, he slept for nine hours. I was always told to never wake a sleeping baby. So I didn't. The midwife came the next day and asked how many times he'd fed in the night. I said none - he slept, and man do I feel better for also getting so much sleep! MW was horrified - he should have fed at least four times in that time! I was horrified. I can still recall the feeling now. How did I not know they needed to feed every two hours? No one told me, but I also felt a huge responsibility that I hadn't read it in a book either. Everyone else seemed to know!

But it was just a mistake. DS was fine. He's a completely robust four year old now. I didn't know but it didn't make me a bad mother. Same for you xx

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GinIsIn · 26/05/2017 07:57

Look, there will be plenty of times when you will feel horribly guilty over the coming years. About 90% of the time, I would estimate. You can't let it get in the way of life, and getting stuck in that cycle of guilt/crying/guilt/crying just makes you and the baby feel worse. Take a deep breath, go to the vending machine and get a god-awful cup of hospital tea and just try to focus on the next step - getting seen. And then getting home. And then doing something nice with your baby. You can't look back on everything you could have done differently - it will drive you mad. You really aren't a bad mum, just a normal one like all of us!

My DS is 3 months. We spent several weeks in intensive care when he was 1 month old, after he stopped breathing. They never found out why it had happened so I was sure it was something I had done wrong. I did all the crying, and the guilt, and the beating myself up, until the nurse spoke to me and I realised that what my baby needed to feel ok again was me, and a me that wasn't an emotional wreck. Some days the massive anxiety something could happen to him again almost overwhelms me, but I know that me getting upset makes him and the dog upset and that's the motivation I need to keep pushing forward.

Please stop torturing yourself - you are not a bad mum and these sorts situations will occur to every parent more than once.

TheFirstMrsDV · 26/05/2017 07:58

I have five kids.
So by no 5 you would think I would have got this sorted.
Nope. DC5 fell off the bed when he was about 6mths old. I was mortified because unlike you OP, I should have bloody known better!

It was only about a month ago that I inadvertently twatted DC4 in the face with a trainer.

The staff will have seen lots of upset parents who are devastated at dropping their babies.
Its the ones who don't GAF they worry about.

I hope you are home soon

Fairybella · 26/05/2017 07:58

They won't involve s.s
My daughter fell off the sofa and smashed her face blood everywhere I grabbed her ran hysterically to my neighbour who is a nurse she reassured me she was fine... I felt awful cried bucket loads and just panicked.
My dp dropped her in the hospital .
She mostly normal
Ps I'm a nurse

50ShadesOfEarlGrey · 26/05/2017 07:59

Well you need to banish those thought completely!
DO take her swimming tomorrow, she may not love it but she might be a swimming champion in 15 years. What's important is that you have given her those opportunities.
My DD fell out of bed so many times when we co-slept that after the third occasion I just put loads of pillows on the floor next to the bed to catch her! She has travelled the world, successful student, loves life and life seems to love her, so no lasting harm done!
It sounds like you are doing really well, take time to relax and enjoy being a Mum.

RedCrab · 26/05/2017 07:59

And EVEN if you had dropped her, they wouldn't involve SS. People drop things. It's still an accident.

EtonMessi · 26/05/2017 07:59

I am pretty much the only mother I know IRL who has not had this happen to one or another of her children.

This is more due to good luck than good management

It is very, very common, not least because parents are often so sleep-deprived around the time that babies start to roll over.

They won't be getting SS involved. SS would be doing nothing else if they had to come in every time a baby rolled off a couch. I wish I could give you a hug and a OP!

Original poster

Sashasays · 26/05/2017 08:02

RedCrab haha that made me cackle. When my daughter was newborn she didn't feed much for first 48 hours, one midwife told me that was normal and another completely panicked me & told me she would have to get a tube in her nose if she doesn't eat, I was terrified but she did start eating A LOT within the next day. Now she's so chunky. You're right I do need to toughen up, I am working on it. Have just spoken to my dd's dads mum on the phone in tears, she told me it happens to the best of us don't worry and told me she's so glad that I am my daughter's mother. Made me smile

OP posts:

yousignup · 26/05/2017 08:03

My daughter fractured her skull at 10 months and needed a brain scan. She's fine but it took me a good few years to stop feeling guilty.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 26/05/2017 08:04

SashaSays. I'm far more worried about you than DD. Most babies fall off a bed or sofa, you feel a bit crap, give them a cuddle & keep an eye on them. I wouldn't go to A&E unless there was a particular reason I felt it was necessary (unresponsive etc).

I'm worried about quite how badly you are reacting to this and about your statement 'I dropped DD'. No you didn't. She rolled off the sofa. In a few short months she will be doing this regularly until she learns how to get off, now she's learnt how to climb up!

If you are generally very anxious about her then you should see your GP. You should also do a pediatric first aid course if you haven't already.

Take care 💐

EnglandKeepMyBones · 26/05/2017 08:05

My husband dropped DD2 on the floor from out of bed when she was 10 days old and I smacked DD1s head off a doorframe turning round too fast when she was about 5 months. I have plenty of other, similar stories too. But both of mine are here to tell the tale.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 26/05/2017 08:06

Right of passage in my house, babies falling of bed, sofa and not just the once.

Wait until they ask you push them on the swing and the next thing they on the floor sobbing why did you push me so hard.

I've carried my then sleeping toddler upstairs only to whack his head on the banister and like another poster I've done the doorframe bash few times.

hope your baby ok, I know it's pretty upsetting when it happens and you feel like worst mum ever but your not.

Original poster

Sashasays · 26/05/2017 08:06

Fenella I am so sorry to hear that about your lil one. I am so glad your son is okay. I can't believe how lovely you all are. This is what mumsnet is about, without it I'd be a worse mess than I am now lol. Thank you all

OP posts:

Mommawoo · 26/05/2017 08:08

I was feeling pretty smug about dd making it to 20 months without a single dropping/rolling incident.

Then.....

We arrived outside our house with dd in the buggy and about a million bags of shopping slung on the handles. Dp bent down and unclipped dd just as I took my hand off the handles and the weight of the shopping pulled the buggy backward. For some reason dp decided to try and save the shopping and dd, who had leant forward expecting to be picked up, was thrown out of the buggy like an airplane ejector seat and landed head first onto concrete steps

She was fine though, us not so much!!!

RedCrab · 26/05/2017 08:09

I think probably when you're on your own, the weight of responsibility must be so huge. When you're in a relationship, you might be physically by yourself Day to day but you have the emotional support of your partner to help share the weight of caring for the baby. It sounds to me like part of your upset is all of that anxiety just coming pouring out. But that's a really lovely thing for your dd's grandmother to say.

MoonDuke · 26/05/2017 08:09

My 10 month old rolled off the changing table onto a tilled floor when I turned my back. I cried longer than he did.

I then went to work traumatized. Everyone could see I was upset and asked why. Cue many many stories of babies falling off things. It helped but I still felt bad for ages.

Original poster

Sashasays · 26/05/2017 08:10

Annie I suffer with really bad anxiety. I have spoken to my GP but she doesn't really seem to think there's is much to be done about it. IgnoreMe that made me laugh, the comment about pushing them too hard on the swing. I guess I have this all to look forward to!

OP posts:

EnglandKeepMyBones · 26/05/2017 08:12

Mommawoo I'm sorry, but your post just made laugh. My DH would probably try to save the shopping too!

Original poster

Sashasays · 26/05/2017 08:14

RedCrab that is true. Having to take the emotional side of raising a child by yourself is very very hard. The physical part is okay for me but I never thought of it that way and I do think I am struggling a bit with the emotional side even though I put on a brace face

OP posts:

Popskipiekin · 26/05/2017 08:16

I have 2xDS and waiting for the sofa/bed/stairs catastrophe to happen any day now with DS2 (5 months). DS1 had many a door frame thwack and fell off the bed early on. DS2 seems remarkably lucky so far...
Other pps posting above prove all can be ok without this being the case, however: doctors told me with DS1 that crying immediately (as your DD has done) is a very good sign.
My granny dropped DBro head first onto the patio!!!!! He got a 1st degree (much more than I managed without any head dropping) and is a senior management consultant. Maybe I missed out

IheartDodo · 26/05/2017 08:17

When I was a baby, my mum dropped me onto a marble floor at a train station. Apparently I burst an eardrum and screamed the place down!
... And I turned out fine, got more than one degree, a long-term partner, a job...
Actually my brother also fell off the back of his highchair and hit his head on the radiator, when he was a toddler, and he's fine too!

confusedat23 · 26/05/2017 08:21

OP if it makes you feel any better my friends DD was flung out of her carrycot at 8 weeks old facefirst onto concrete floor... Apart from a small cut on her face she was perfectly fine.

You have done the right thing getting her checked out but lots of people will tell you babies and children bounce!

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 26/05/2017 08:21

As this thread shows... it's happened to everyone!! A family member has five children, so you'd think by the end you'd have it down. The fifth child at 6 months old rolled off the bed and broke his arm. Not only that but he took out one of the others too, 2yo, who hit his head on the wall and got concussion. All while their mum had turned her back to put on her socks or something. Hell up by all accounts.

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