Stupid parenting advice you've been given

[Lillieslamb]

What 'stupid' parenting advice have people given you?

The ones that stand out to me:
Put whiskey in dd's milk to make her sleep
Give dd multi vitamins instead of milk as she doesn't need it now (at about 6 or 7 months old)
And my friend was once told a ham sandwich would cure her baby's cold!

Where do people even get these things?

My MIL was dead chuffed when I moved into a house opposite DS1's nursery. "Oh marvellous! You can leave DS2 sleeping in the cot or playpen when you do drop offs and collection and make your whole life easier!"

Um no, I won't be leaving my baby unattended in the house while I walk across the street and into another building to drop off or collect my toddler for 20 - 30 mins twice a day. I think I'll just pop him in the sling thanks

To not jump up every time my son cried as "he needs to learn that you make the schedule not him"... my son was 4 days old at the time . Needles to say the advice was ignored.

Needless - not needles

My DM has handed down some corkers over the years:

Attending funerals when pregnant is very dangerous (accompanied by wide eyed, knowing look, but no further explanation).

Newborns need to be left to scream as it's good for their lungs.

BF on one side for three minutes precisely, then swap to the other side. Repeat ad infinitum.

BFing more often than every four hours will spoil a baby.

BFing for longer than four weeks will spoil a baby.

If you talk to your baby too much, they'll never learn to talk themselves.

If you carry baby too much, they'll never learn to walk.

All babies should be potty trained by 18 months, like you all were (I distinctly remember two of my siblings having toileting issues for years, probably due to this too-early training).

You should get their hearing checked if they're not talking fully by 18 months.

I could go on all day.....

'If you talk to your baby too much, they'll never learn to talk themselves.'

Well shut the front door, that's a new one on me. I'm a speech and language therapist and thought I had heard every bonkers thing there was to hear about young children and communication development, but that deserves some special kind of prize for bonkersness!

Some of these are funny, some are downright scary. The obsession with tiny babies being 'manipulative' and controlling you and needing to be shown who is boss from day one is really sad and pretty disturbing.

Lotta I think the lunacy theory behind it is that if you're talking too much, the child doesn't get the opportunity to speak.

I learned quite early on to smile, nod and utterly ignore thank my DM graciously for her parenting advice!

My PIL's don't understand why I "insist" on breastfeeding my 4 month old because according to them:

• Formula feeding is SO much easier and SO much more convenient don't you know! uh, I think it's only more convenient for women who cannot or have ongoing difficulty breastfeeding.
• You can force them to sleep through the night if you bottle feed! Apparently my decision to breastfeed is "selfish" as they announced when DD was 3 weeks old because I should have been able to "send her to their house to play with them overnight". Play what you idiots? Monopoly? I'm getting angry just thinking about all the wankish things that pair have said.

'You need to put him down, you're making a rod for your own back. You can't just sit there cuddling him all day.'

'Give him 4oz if formula before a breastfeed, it won't affect your milk supply'

'If you cosleep your baby WILL overheat, even if not dressed in too much. The heat of your body on the mattress lying next to him will make him overheat'

'You need to eat lots of fatty foods to ensure your milk is rich enough'

All HVs. There's somewhere really specific I'd like to shove that rod 😡

Yes I was also told by my MIL that I should leave DD to cry when she was a tiny baby as it was good for her lungs! And that babies should be left to cry so they can 'let off steam'. Actually I preferred to comfort my baby when she was upset but thanks anyway!

Mil is queen of shit advice.
He's a big baby, put a risk in his bottle otherwise he won't be getting enough food (I don't know what bottle as I bf both of my big babies).

I'm expecting ds 3 and she is so upset because the boys need to grow up with a sister (why?)

I've had loads more but can't think of them right now.

I had a retired hv insist I meticulously pick off all of dd's cradle cap and "not to worry if it bleeds or weeps"

Had dd in a sling when she was about 6 weeks old and had an old lady call me "barbaric" and "abusing my child" because that's what "primitive people do". Alright lady. Fuck right off!

Some of these are just

I was also told that hoovering would mask the sound of dd's crying - you know, not that I would comfort her or anything.
Also that breast milk is rubbish in comparison to formula (nothing against formula as I've mix fed, but I simply don't believe that's true)

"Don't drink so much water because it waters down your breastmilk and dd won't get enough nutrients"

I'm actually shocked that hv's have said some of these things! My hv was pretty good thankfully.

ilikecakes ^
You should get their hearing checked if they're not talking fully by 18 months^ Sorry to contradict but a hearing test would not be a bad Idea if the child is not talking in line with developmental expectations. Obviously this does not mean complex long sentences!

So this wasn't advice per se but my sister mentioned in passing that "you shouldn't breastfeed for more than 15 minutes in one sitting"...

The other corker was from my dad who suggested putting baby rice in with the milk at a couple of months old. Particularly confusing as we were exclusively breastfeeding at that point.

"Of course you can leave your baby alone with my dog if you come through to the kitchen and talk to me, I trust her with my life".

toldmy absolutely, but this was in reference to complex sentences! 18 month olds all were fine in language development but they apparently should have been having deep and meaningfuls with me by then.

Love DM dearly, but a total hypochondriac. She also suggested I seek medical referrals for the following serious childhood conditions:

• fussy eating (aka not liking broccoli)
• cradle cap
• wind
• waking in the night
• bottle refusing (but growing happily and contentedly on BM)
• crawling backwards
• being 'such a late walker' at 15 months

Haha at crawling backwards. I love to see a baby do that, I want to beep and say
" caution, baby is reversing"

Women who breastfeed are just doing it to get attention

Ooh, I thought of one - not parenting advice as such, but opinions expressed by a few mums a colleague of mine met in a professional capacity. Apparently breastfeeding your child over the age of 2 is sexual abuse and allowing your toddler to see another child being breastfed is also sexual abuse.

Colleague tried to explain the um, FEEDING and nurturing aspects of breastfeeding but apparently they were having none of it. Some people are seriously messed up when it comes to bodies and their normal functions

To be fair to my family they never came out with any shit like this.

But I went to a first birthday party (in a living room) of an irritating aqaintanance's PFB who walked at 10months.

the whole time of the poor child's 1st birthday party she spent it trying to force the PFB onto the potty to wee and getting quite irate when it wasn't going well. She then spent the next year telling me I needed to do the same to my PFB and was quite miffed when I let DD decide to come out of nappies when she was 3yo and told me I had left it too late and she would wet herself constantly and potty training should start as early as possible. She didn't needless to say

1/ if you are b/f then you can only eat bland, mill based food. From a midwife. In the UK. yes I had a meltdown till a lovely Indian Dr took pity, laughed and said to eat what I fancied
2/ if you bf your boobs will never be the same and your hubby won't like them anymore tough!
4/ crisps and crispy bacon is perfect for a 6-month old and much better than the stew you've left cue problems for 4 years

Where do I start? These gems all from MIL?

1. Baby needs to be wrapped up so warm and swaddled that she is red-faced and sweating. No opening windows because the draft could kill.
2. She needs to have bottles of water (exclusively breasfed). I said no- she took baby away, hid and did it anyway behind my back.

3) Putting baby on her back, feet to foot would mean that she would die from choking on her own vomit. She kept putting baby to sleep on her front despite me asking her not to.

SHE ACTUALLY CALLED A PAEDIATRICIAN because she said I was going to kill my baby. Mad woman.

Breastfeeding beyond two is sexual abuse? I've heard it all now!

sladurche your mil has no boundaries, that would drive me crazy.