AIBU to think there's no point going abroad with babies?

[lifeisazebracrossing]

Just been away with DD (9mo), DH and all his family and while I didn't expect a standard holiday with relaxing by the pool, getting drunk til late, etc., it felt like more of a change of scenery than a holiday!

Everyone offered to help but DD was clingy in the new environment with family she doesn't see regularly so it would have felt cruel to everyone to accept for a length of time. And while DH and I split duties and got some time to relax (until he hurt his neck day 4!), it still felt a bit much effort to go all that way to largely carry out the usual parenting duties (which I do not begrudge, BTW).

Maybe if there were other children, it would've been better. Or maybe taking babies abroad is a bad idea? What do you think?

I agree - It's just parenting abroad rather than a holiday, isn't it?

I would say it is definitely a change rather than a rest! But personally, I like a change.

I've been abroad 3 times with my daughter who's nearly 2, once on a sailing yacht! Hard work but still fun.

Nice to go different places, get some sun, eat some nice food. Depends why you go holiday I guess.

I don't understand this.

We always go on holiday with our 3 dc, and yes its always a holiday. Even with a 6 week old +.

We lie by the pool while the kids splash/nap in a buggy/play, we go for 'lizard walks' (yes that's walking around searching for lizards!), we eat out 3 times per day and we play on the beach for hours on end.

I love holidays. Holidays without kids are boring.

Have to disagree (sorry!).

Some of our best holidays were with ours when they were babies.

You should have taken the rellies up on their offers, too! They never learn to be NOT clingy unless they get used to other people.

YANBU. Absolutely pointless in my eyes, but people can spend their money on whatever they fancy!

I'm afraid going on holiday with one under 2 was the easiest time for family holidays for me, I'm waiting for them all to be primary school age before its that easy again!

I'm with you OP.First holiday with a baby is especially hard. Tis the realisation that holidays as they were are gone.

Holidays are now a change of scene with not as much cooking/washing/tidying.

I agree - I'm only going cos everyone else wants a holiday. I'm more likely to get sleep at home!

Yes pointless. How sad that someone thinks holidays without children are boring. I think holidays with children are boring! Our best, most adventurous holidays have been without kids.

Agree with op! We're waiting until the youngest is 3 before we go abroad. It's just stressful, tiring and wasted on crawlers who are only interested in eating dirt.

Yes, it did come with the realisation that holidays as they were had become something of the past, Not! And I generally don't focus on life as it was as there's no point and I love my new life but there's nothing like watching a load of other not-yet-parents enjoying while you have to do naps (my DD won't nap in her buggy while I sunbathe!) and change nappies!

I think I'll take your advice, Cran. At least if you holiday in Britain, there's no excessive travel and expectations are lower!

Blimey! Never done it. Dd doesn't even have a passport. I'd be scared of the journey alone with a three year old. We did haven caravan hols and they are some of my loveliest family memories.

That said I want to go abroad soon. Haven't been since I was pregnant.

We go to the Dorset coast every year, the kids have a whale of a time and the sea air really tires them out. It's about as relaxing as you'll ever get with small children IMO.

blue why is it "sad"? Isn't that an incredibly patronising thing to say? No sadder to find holidays without kids boring than holidays with kids, surely.

Holidays with kids are different than without obviously. Personally I find "holidays" with extended family very much not a holiday because it's constant compromise and tongue biting - just your own kids and you're in charge, which is much more of a holiday despite no babysitting!

We go to totally different places with kids, or rather the accommodation is different - hotels are shit with kids. Still relaxing though. We did a canal boat holiday when DC1 was 5 months which worked well using a travel cot to do the locks. You can't do that with 3 mobile preschoolers, but then a eurocamp holiday in Italy is good.

The art is in picking the right holiday.

YADNBU. I remember going on a big family holiday (uk) when dc1 was just a few months old. It was our first holiday since having her. She cried nearly all the way there in the car and was the only baby in the group so whilst all the older kids got to go to each other's cottages for sleep overs so the adults could socialise together, me and Dp were stuck in our cottage in the evenings playing monopoly. She was also super difficult to get to sleep especially in a strange environment. I did leave dp to spend a bit of time with my family one evening but felt incredibly guilty and then she woke crying and wouldn't settle so that didn't last long.

It's tough but I think it does get easier as they get older, we now have 2 dc age 4 and almost 2 and holidays are still a challenge but we can do a lot more with them than we could when they were babies. I wouldn't consider going abroad with them until they are at least 5, but everyone's different.

Good advice, drinkingtea. We did a villa but I agree with the compromise and tongue biting to an extent. I do wonder whether going to a resort just the three of us where you can eat out anytime around naps and just do your own thing would be better.

No reason not to go abroad - flights and ferries are both fine with babies, it's hotels with everyone in one room that I can't get my head around.

You have to do what suits you lifeisazebra - a lot of people like resorts, and if it works for you then great. The drawback is just having one room and having to go to bed when the baby does, or sit in the bathroom! Or read your Kindle in silence... People who enjoy resorts seem to have kids who sleep in buggies while the parents eat out in restaurants and enjoy the evening undisturbed.

We like "glamping" type holidays and eurocamp type sites with kids pools and separate bedroom and living areas.

There are so many possibilities, find what suits your new family!

We have taken ours since she was 4 months old. Self catering def better than hotels. In the early years we wheeled ours out in the pushchair for "aperos". If she settled we ate out, if she didn't we got a pizza or something. From aged 3 or so she always ate out with us.

We've had holidays in the UK since having dd. I like the UK. There are some lovely places. The only thing I miss is the constant splashing around in a pool as I am a water baby, as is dd. We are having another dc now and I can't see the desire for a pool winning over the horror of flying with children. Or airports or limited packing etc. Frankly I'd rather go camping.

Our first family holiday was when DS was 13 months old and we went to Turkey for two weeks and it was exhausting. It wasn't relaxing and was more just me and DH tag teaming over who was going to look after DS for a few hours so the other could get a few hours sunbathing in. It was lovely being somewhere hot and feeling that sense of being a million miles away from home but it certainly wasn't what I would call a holiday.

DS has just turned three and we took our second holiday and this one was even more tiring as he was constantly hyper, constantly wanting to run around and do things and we didn't have the luxury of being able to restrain him in a pushchair like we could when he was 13 months. Being on holiday was more exhausting than being at home with him.

YANBU OP!!

The key to having an enjoyable holiday with babies and small children is having babies and small children who sleep well when in a strange place.

Mine did not. I was more knackered than usual, so not much of a holiday. If they had slept it would have been so much more fun.

You're not selling it to me, writer! But thanks for your honesty. I expect that's how it might be with ours as a toddler as she's busy. I think we remember going abroad in fondness and forget how it will actually be in reality.