AIBU to think there's no point going abroad with babies?

[lifeisazebracrossing]

Just been away with DD (9mo), DH and all his family and while I didn't expect a standard holiday with relaxing by the pool, getting drunk til late, etc., it felt like more of a change of scenery than a holiday!

Everyone offered to help but DD was clingy in the new environment with family she doesn't see regularly so it would have felt cruel to everyone to accept for a length of time. And while DH and I split duties and got some time to relax (until he hurt his neck day 4!), it still felt a bit much effort to go all that way to largely carry out the usual parenting duties (which I do not begrudge, BTW).

Maybe if there were other children, it would've been better. Or maybe taking babies abroad is a bad idea? What do you think?

What Humphrey just said, except my then 5 month old did sleep well in a new environment and pretty much drank milk, splashed in the pool and dozed his way through the holiday.
Looking back it was the most chilled out holiday we've had post DC! It only gets harder once they're eating food and on the move IMO.

I completely agree. When I had little ones, we had fabulous holidays in the UK. The thought of going abroad was just too stressful.

I went away with DS1 and family when he was six months old and it was bliss.
DS2 is 5 months and I wouldn't dream of it, he's super clingy and doesn't sleep for longer than an hour at a time (at night - naps during day time are few and far between)

You're not selling it to me, writer! But thanks for your honesty.

We are all meant to be going to Turkey again this August but as I'm now pregnant I can't go but DH still plans on going with DS, just the two of them. I think he's crazy!!!

Sorry I don't agree I have taken all 4 of mine way from months old (Spain, Florida etc) love it and kids did to, as little babies they sat next to the sunbed with a bucket of water, watering can etc, had dips in pool sleep in pram in shade and evenings where spent either sat on my knee watching entertainment, in buggy while we walked or asleep in Oran until we went back to hotel

I love holidays

I felt the same on a recent holiday with 5mo. I had a bit of a strop a few days in after I spent two of the hottest hours inside trying to get a steriliser to work while the baby screamed because her sleep was all over the place. I must admit it did settle a bit later on in the week. We only went for a wedding which was booked before I was pregnant. I'm not sure I'd go again with a baby pre-solid foods.

Breast feeding definitely makes holidays with babies about a thousand times easier - with dc1 the holiday when she was 5 months was a "last horrah" before the end of maternity leave (we only got 6 months 12 years ago) and we were desperately trying to get her onto a bottle - the sterilising was definitely a major pain. We took dc3 away to Italy at 6 weeks old and didn't have to worry about that. He was no trouble though keeping him out of the sun was a bit of a head ache and the nice idea of taking the in laws played havock with my hormones and sleep as mil wouldn't give him back to me and kept rocking him to sleep when he cried with hunger meaning i was up all bloody night cluster feeding and in breast and hormonal pain in the evenings when she was showing him to randoms and rocking him when he cried, and i should have been feeding him to get a four hour stretch at night!

Hot holidays with babies and toddlers are hard work.

Some people think I'm mad, but I find city breaks so much easier with babies and toddlers.

I agree. We've had some brilliant seaside holidays with dd when she was little and saved going abroad until she was almost 5. It was brilliant and she loved it but I'm glad we waited. She struggled with the heat a little bit to be honest but it was easier than it would have been when she was a baby. We are going to the Isle of Wight this year as dd2 will be 6 months. Staying in a cottage (we've been before so we know it's comfy). When dd1 was a toddler we went to Cornwall and The Isle of Wight and the weather was amazing so I'm hoping for the same.

We've never have been abroad with ds5 for this very reason preventing him from drowning or burning doesn't seem to be an attractive prospect yet crazily we are off to Portugal in two weeks with DS2 who is 6 months.

We have an apartment, my parents to help and low expectations but even if it is just parenting in sunnier climate should be a good break

I agree. No point going abroad with them. Even with toddlers. They won't remember a thing about it later. Little kids don't need abroad.

We took DC1 abroad at 10 weeks, 8 months and 18m. 18m was a nightmare (wouldn't eat / sleep/ got travel sick/ didn't like sand or water...) but the first two trips were wonderful.

YABU. Driving to Cornwall won't be any further than flying to some European destination. Personally I don't see a difference. If you are saying 'there is no point going overnight away from home', then I can understand what you are trying to say.

I enjoy holidays but I can understand home comfort. Nothing like being at home with all the stuff I and the children like.

I don't understand the struggle with heat thing at all. DD1 went to Malaysia and Singapore when she was 18mo and she didn't struggle with heat. If they sweat it doesn't mean they are struggling FFS. My 2 enjoyed a lot of hot weather. Like not worrying about rain because it is actually warm. Or getting totally soaked by sea water in normal clothes and just letting them dry in the sun while playing in the playground. You don't get that in the UK seaside holidays.

I'd hesitate to take small babies on holiday who need sterilising equipment and all that. DD first went abroad at 11 months and we just used to buy UHT milk out of the supermarket. I do agree with Humphrey though, my 2 just went with the flow slept in their buggy so we'd have cocktails after dinner and we had PIL on hand. If you have babies that need a rigid routine then holidays abroad are not going to be relaxing

That's well and good Neon but sometimes I like to feel the warmth of the sun on my back, holidays can be about the parents as well getting time away to recharge. My 2 are now 6 and 9 and we've done a UK holiday most years as well as abroad but have never had proper sun on any of our staycations

Well there are two issues here - one is that as a parent you need to adjust your expectations of holidays. They are what you make them and with DC they're very different and nowhere near as relaxing and battery-recharging they were pre-kids. That's true whether you go to Devon, Greece or Thailand.

The other issue is where you go and whether you consider it worth the hassle to go overseas. Personally, I think it's well worth it, but it's also worth paying extra for pleasant flight times, choosing destinations that are convenient for travel, temp, etc, and thinking long and hard about what sort of accommodation is going to work best for the stage you're at. That and taking a few essentials with you, or choosing destinations where British staples are readily available, can be the difference between a crap holiday and a great one.

Neon your logic that there's no point doing things with kids if they won't remember them is a bit fragile I think! Might as well never leave the house (and garden for vitimin D and exercise to keep them healthy I guess) until the child is over 3 by that logic - no point if they won't remember!

Older siblings will also remember holidays when younger siblings are still tiny.

Also what kids remember can be surprising - my 6 year old comes out with the odd memory from just before and just after turning 2; certainly not things he's been told as they tend to be quite specific but random ("I used to have a friend called Max from Holland, do you remember Mummy, we built a snail house in a playground - do you remember? Where is he now?" and a bit of memory trawling and one of the older kids remembers that that was on holiday on a campsite in Italy, which we work out was in 2013...)

Obviously kids don't remember the Kodak moments we might have picked out for them as "making memories", but they sometimes do have quite early memories of things which stuck for whatever reason.

It depends on the temperament of the child.

Mine just wanted to explore every health and safety hazard- it was very stressful!

We drove across Europe with our six month old for just under a month, staying in hotels and one chalet in the mountains. Children are an extra reason to have a holiday IMO rather than a reason to stay at home

We've had 4 amazing holidays with dd, thinking we'd make the most of it while she was under 2. Yes they don't look exactly the same as they used to, but still amazing and totally worth it.

I actually think self catered generally works much better for small children. Swim/sunbathe while they nap, eat out on terrace while they sleep etc?

Maybe it was just bad timing if she was a bit clingy - maybe teething or something as well as all the new environment? We just tried to keep as much the same for her as usual.

We've been away alone, with family, & with friends. They all worked out well, but we didn't leave dd with others much as she's not used to it at home, so didn't feel right to start doing it there.

We go half board, so only need to think about lunch. Self catering is not a holiday!
We go somewhere sunny but not boiling (Canaries, Malta, Balearics) so we won't be trapped in the apartment with nothing to do but equally won't cook the children. Make sure there's an indoor pool so we can swim every day and a play park for an easy option. Voila, not quite as relaxing as pre dc but a lot better than being at home!

Thanks for the replies. It seems to be a mixed one overall but god to hear people survive and enjoy holidays with kids in tow.

Frazzle, your version of self catering sounds good. It was good being in a villa as we could still socialise at night but with all the changes she was unsettled at night and still up at 6am so it is hard to stay up! Yes, my DD isn't used to the family we went with so couldn't be left. If it had been my parents, she'd have gone out for the day one day with them.

I suppose we were lucky that she was really good on the plane and generally behaved the same. And it was nice to look at different scenery but I'm not sure it's worth all of the hassle and money.

We did think that a combination of driving and ferry might be easier than flying - as well as significantly cheaper