Wtf do I do??!! Absolutely terrified!!

[lifesjoys]

I'm the same poster who posted a thread about being a single mum wanting help!

Well, it's getting bloody worse & im at a loss as to what to do.

My baby slept on my chest last night, not for me, not because I think it's cute but solely because when I put him in his cot, he screamed. Took him out, consoled him & put him back in countless times yet the screaming started again.

At 2am after a big feed, I finally gave up, put him on my chest & we both fell asleep.

Well, I then slept walked with him I dreamt I was looking after 2 other babies & went to look for them all the while carrying him too!

Then, now this is where I don't know if it was a dream or not but I woke up in bed with him on my chest as expected however his face was pressed in my chest (he is more than capable of moving his own head, automatically turns to the side) & I had to blow on him to get him to breath!!

Wtf!! I can't risk having him on me anymore yet he won't sleep in his cot!!
I can't bear to try CC, especially as he's only 25 days old.

Someone please help me, tell me what to do. Even if it was a dream, it's still scared the shit out of me & I can't take any chances.

He's just woken up for a feed, hoping he'll have a full 3oz as ATM he's snacking half oz-1oz here & there

he doesn't eat regularly (when he feels like it)

This is completely normal - as adults this is how we eat. You don't sit there saying "woo hoo, only 20 mins before I can have a cup of tea", if you want a drink you just have one. Babies work exactly the same way.

"woo hoo, only 20 mins before I can have a cup of tea"

okay that was funny!

But I do see what you mean.

I know it is a cliche but you must sleep when he sleeps. I had strange hallucinations when they were tiny and I hadn't slept - once I had just put ds down in one room and he had transported himself to the floor of the bathroom, except he had shrunk. Turned out it was one of the dd's dolls.

It also does get easier. Sometimes you have to transport your mind forward. In six months he will be sitting up grabbing your food, in a year he will be wobbling across the room to you. In two years he will be running around bluebell woods on a tummy full of Easter eggs! In ten years he will be bringing you a cup of tea in bed (well on mother's day). You will look back and remember it was tough but the true horror of the daily experience will have faded.

My ds2 was exactly like this. He was miserable and cried and cried. He had an umbilical hernia as well which almost certainly didn't help.

If I could have my time again I would say:

1. Sleep when he sleeps - 100%
2. Be gentle on yourself.
3. Do what works for you
4. Ask for help and don't be afraid to admit that the newborn thing isn't a barrel of laughs.

If I could have had my children from 6 months old I would have had 10. I found the newborn thing so hard.

I'm glad you did. It's so easy to think you're doing something wrong when they feed little and often but you're really really not

My ds is on cow and gate comfort! How long has yours been on it? I would say defo takes a couple days at least for them to begin to settle , and a week for them to get used to it. We saw a difference.

Also as the reflux begins to be treated effectively you'll find he will drink more. It's probably uncomfortable for him the poor soul and he might even be really hungry but just unable to drink at the mo! Also do you know cow and gate do an anti reflux milk? Not that I'm suggesting you change again but just in case you weren't aware

Has anyone suggested a Sleepyhead? It might help make him feel snug without swaddling. Also, have you heard of Lulladolls? I've never tried them but have heard good things. They mimic the sounds/breathing of a mother. Both those items are expensive but if they work they could be worth it. It's safe to buy sleepyheads second hand too.

My ds is on cow and gate comfort! How long has yours been on it? I would say defo takes a couple days at least for them to begin to settle , and a week for them to get used to it. We saw a difference.

I tried to start him on it a week ago but the teats I had were too slow & he couldn't get the milk out quick enough & was falling asleep but then not settling because he was hungry so I changed back to his original milk until I could get new bottles & teats.

So it's only been a couple of days, although he's poo'ing more often.

I think he's teething as he's biting down on the teats, so il rub some teething gel on later.

Hope you have a better night tonight

I went through a lot of stress and was on antidepressants while pregnant and my little boy is such a happy little chap! You have not caused this at all x

Look on ebay for a foam wedge support. It was about £6 brand new and the brand was summer something?

Ds2 was like this, he got better when he hit 12 weeks. I slept next to him on my bed, no covers on me so us both on top of them and him on his wedge for weeks. It does get better I promise

Op I really feel for you. I had three with reflux but the first was by far the worst because it took so long to work out. The hours of nighttime crying honestly broke me and I had my husband. I remember one time though at 3am when he was on a night shift ringing him and screaming I couldn't cope and he had to come home. He couldn't, but he did tell me to put the baby down safely in the cot and walk into another room and breathe, even for a minute. The baby was perfectly safe and I had a minute to pull myself together to go again.

Re the reflux, our first was on gaviscon, I was never convinced that it did an awful lot, I think eventually she grew out of the reflux as the tummy muscle healed.
Second we had both ranitidine then losec and it worked brilliantly for them.

But every baby is different, they didn't work for third. We were prescribed a milk called Enfamil, which worked like an absolute dream, we didn't need any medication with it. And on advice of a consultant we bought the mat breathing monitor for the cot and put him to sleep on his front with a tilt on the crib. Definitely worth talking to health visitor and gp further about the reflux and realise there are definitely options beyond gaviscon. Be firm if it's not working.

Sending you best wishes and hugs x

How are you getting on OP? Any improvement?

Not too bad, waiting on his bed to be delivered so he can sleep next to me.

He didn't have his gaviscon yesterday so has thrown up most of his feeds last night :(

Can u not sleep with the baby next to you? We had a tough time here with colic and the only place she would sleep settled was next to me in bed - don't get me wrong it's nervewracking at first but once you have a set up that's safe for them it won't be bad. Your baby is still pretty small and your doing your best remember that :) we have all had times the same as you or near enough so don't be hard on yourself

I'm too scared il roll or the quilt will go over his face, so have ordered something similar to the cocoonababy so he can sleep in my bed but next to me

I had a ds like this. I found a pram rocker saved my sanity along with recording my voice singing a lullaby on my phone and playing it on repeat All. Night.

Pram rocker - flat platform with groves for pram wheels to fit in. Moves backwards and forwards. I had a Moses basket type pram

It sounds like you sub conscience was just trying to tell you 'this could happen' and to be careful. You just sound shattered TBH. It sounds like he has an issue with colic/reflux. Try a babocush (google it) my son had severe reflux/colic and it was a godsend. Also wind him after every bottle (very well and quite firm) and also if you think he could have a sore tummy, press his knees up to his chest over and over again and rub his belly in clockwise position. This should ease wind. I hope you get some sleep soon