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Original poster

dad denying paternity. do they have the same ears?

57 replies

laurajayne2 · 30/01/2017 13:53

I have already done a dna. but he has questioned the result in the past. won't see baby. I think it's because he's made digs previously he doesn't look like him (everyone says he looks like me as I'm mixed raced so baby has dark hair and eyes. his dad and his other kids have bright blue eyes). would you say he has his dads ears? thanks

dad denying paternity. do they have the same ears?
dad denying paternity. do they have the same ears?
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NewtScamandersNaughtyNiffler · 30/01/2017 14:21

Ex is an arsehole. Make sure you get maintenance via cms, if you've had a dna test done then you have proof he is the father.

And fwiw ds1s ears don't resemble mine or his dad's. Or indeed anyone in our family.

OlennasWimple · 30/01/2017 14:21

Fortunately, the CSA accept DNA testing as proof of paternity not ear shape

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 30/01/2017 14:22

How exactly does he think you faked the DNA test results? Your ex doesn't sound terribly bright does he?

Take him on to Jeremy Kyle. He might trust Jezza's DNA test. He could even take a lie detector test while he's there.

But really, whether ears are similar is not very relevant. If you have a DNA test result telling you he is your DSs father, then he is your DSs father.

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LIZS · 30/01/2017 14:24

You can't force him to take an interest, you can to pay maintenance. Was he on birth certificate?

sandragreen · 30/01/2017 14:29

Yeah, I really think that a man who denies a DNA test result is going to change his mind and step up on the basis of ears.................

Buzzardbird · 30/01/2017 14:30

Poor kid. I don't think the ears are similar but that is irrelevant really isn't it?

Just sort it properly through the CSA and be grateful you never have to see the toad again.

Niskayuna · 30/01/2017 14:33

What does it matter? He's a tosser and not suitable to be a father to your son. However, he does have to pay, so start getting some legal advice on getting child support. Just because he 'thinks' he isn't the father because he doesn't believe in DNA doesn't mean he gets to skip payments. The courts will think DNA is just fine.

trulybadlydeeply · 30/01/2017 14:36

With the best will in the world, OP, the opinion of random internet strangers on your DS's ears is not going to help matters.

If the DNA test states he's the father, and he is refusing to acknowledge that, then your DS does not deserve to have him in his life. He's made his choice - let him get on with it.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 30/01/2017 14:40

Strangers telling you they have the same ears proves nothing.

If you got your DNA test done by a reputable company then it is unlikely to be wrong. So surely you have the proof his the father and can claim maintenance?

You can't make him be a father if he doesn't want, you can't make him see the child of he doesn't want.
You can however claim maintenance as he has a legal obligation to support the child

laurajayne3 · 30/01/2017 14:51

sorry it logged me out and still waiting on a reset email. I don't understand why it's a daft question. people ask all the time if their child looks more like their mum or dad. I was merely asking if one of his features looks like his dads. unfortunately I can't claim csa as his money isn't legit. I think he doesn't believe the dna because I did. posted it got the results ect. but if that's the case and he cared he'd do his own. I just feel if the baby had blue eyes like all his other kids he bothers with they'd be not even a shadow of doubt. he could never deny him then

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 30/01/2017 14:53

Don't be naive, OP. He absolutely would still deny him. He has no interest in being a father to your child, it's time to move on.

LIZS · 30/01/2017 14:53

What do you mean his money isn't legit? It doesn't matter, you claim via cms and he has to respond. If he's lying about his income hmrc et al might be interested. Do you only have the one child?

Soubriquet · 30/01/2017 14:54

He isn't going to take responsibility

He could be his double and he still won't

He doesn't want to be a dad. That's the bottom line

expatinscotland · 30/01/2017 14:56

'All his other kids'? You picked a real winner to have a child with there, laura. This man doesn't want a relationship with your child and you can't force one, or change the colour of the child's eyes. You need to move on.

laurajayne3 · 30/01/2017 14:56

also. as silly as it sounds with the ears. dad's 3 main features he has (which all his other kids have) is his blue eyes. very arched eyebrows (which baby has) and very big ears. so I was only asking if baby shares one of themy features

TheSmurfsAreHere · 30/01/2017 14:57

He doesn't accept his child because he is twat and it's easier to say he doesn't look like him than stepping up to his responsibilities.
Whether he has or hasn't similar shaped ears doesn't matter. Nor does it matter if he looks like you rather than him.

He just doesn't want to be a father for this child.
There isn't a better 'proof' than The DNA test that the child is his and his alone.

HecateAntaia · 30/01/2017 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

laurajayne3 · 30/01/2017 15:01

I probably am being very naive. but all through the pregnancy he was there. even got his family involved. then after bby was born he's switch. even his family. makes no sense if it's not a question of accepting him. why the sudden switch. I get some guys do that. but his family as well. his other kids are doted on by him as his family. so I don't think it's a case of they can't be arsed

LostMyDotBrain · 30/01/2017 15:01

If his money isn't 'legit' then shop him to the tax man and they'll investigate how he's meeting his outgoings on zero income. Then claim CM once they force him to go 'legit'. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones and all that...

It may feel productive to you, all this comparing ears malarkey, but it really isn't. If he's refusing DNA evidence then 'he's got your ears' is going to fall short too.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/01/2017 15:04

DD is my mini-me. DH hasn't questioned her paternity because he's not an arsehole. If he did and the result was a positive DNA test, he would accept it, because he's not an ignoramus.

He's not going to 'accept' DS so get the financial support you can and bring up your beautiful child.

Gazelda · 30/01/2017 15:06

OP, I honestly think you need to work on the assumption that your ex isn't interested in your DS. Put in a CSA claim (even if only to prove to yourself that you've done all you can) and then build a happy life for you and DS. If, in time, your ex decides he wants to be part of his DS's life, then deal with it at that point. You're not going to make him be involved by pointing out similar ears.

MissMrsMsXX · 30/01/2017 15:08

\My apologies. I did read your OP Confused but seemed to miss the first line.

So you have all you need to get child support. The guy is a loser.

waterrat · 30/01/2017 15:23

sorry OP it's a horrible situation to be in. The truth is that he probably knows deep down that it is his baby he just doesn't want the responsibility.

You have done the DNA and if he wanted to genuinely 'know' the truth - he would do the research himself wouldn't he? He doesn't want it to be true.

liquidrevolution · 30/01/2017 20:26

He has no interest in being a parent regardless of DNA so stop fretting and enjoy watching your DS grow.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 30/01/2017 20:31

You are trying to find the 'right' logical argument to persuade someone who isn't interested in logic or doing the right thing.

This won't ever end with you making him behave well.