Feel like I'm sinking

[singingpinkmonkey]

Firstly I apologise for this post as it's me feeling sorry for myself and moaning.

I'm a new mum to my beautiful 10 day old DS and I feel like I am not doing very well.

Today he has spent all afternoon (from 12ish - 5) screaming with occasional 10 minute bursts of sleep. My DH has finally rocked him to sleep. I am currently sat anxiously watching his crib waiting for him to cry again. I just feel so clueless and pathetic. I know some of it is down to hormones but I have spent much of the past few days crying and frantically googling for answers from everything from feeding to sleep routines.
We had a rocky start as I've struggled to breast feed due to my baby having tongue tie and me having flat nipples so now am trying to express breast milk with a crappy Tommee Tippee hand pump and giving that to DS alongside formula.

I read so many books while I was pregnant on what to do when the baby was here but just fee overwhelmed and confused. Everyone else seems to cope brilliantly and have happy babies and I just feel like I'm failing massively and that the poor mite hasn't got the mummy he deserves.

I don't know what I'm expecting by posting this - I know rationally that babies just cry sometimes and that there are a lot of new mums worse off than me but just felt the need to write something down. Does this get easier?

Not sure if this has already been suggested, but the sure start will loan you hospital grade pumps for expressing. I also had home visits from a woman from the breast feeding network. The only reason I managed to breastfeed is because of her and my very involved midwife.

I was on my second baby and was an absolute wreck when we brought him home! I was convinced I had a blood clot, convinced he was starving and going to die... just sat there crying at the midwife with my dressing gown open and my breasts out. Everybody thought it was my first baby

Hi, my DD is nearly 6 months old and it's only now that I feel I know a bit more about what I am doing! You are doing brilliantly and just focus on that. Use the books for basic advice but otherwise ignore. I thought I could get my baby into a routine and I think I stressed myself out. Also people kept telling me to trust my instincts but I was so tired that I felt I didn't have any! Try and sleep when you can. Forget housework. Make a list of things for husband to do. Our baby cried for 4 hours every night at one point and I thought I would seriously lose it but it was just a phase as all these things are. Make sure you have some sort of time to yourself and remember this isn't forever.

I am so thankful at how supportive everyone has been on this thread. It really has helped to read everyone's responses. I felt so down last week and although I'm still not back to normal, I at least feel like I'm not on my own. Thank you all

Good to hear you are feeling a bit better OP. Be kind to yourself, ditch the books and go with your instincts, and repeat ad nauseam that "this is just a phase".

Oh yes great call on the visitors.... that bit I found really stressful. People can wait- give them a white lie that you are not recovered from stitches or something to bide you time.

Try to roll with the blurry haze than fight it. It stays blurry for about 6 weeks and then you come out the woods at 10 - 12 weeks but these times can differ of course.

Try not to aim for being perfect mum as it's really virtually impossible and also not necessary! You just try your best on that day and if it goes tits up - well, tomorrow is another day!

Sleep deprivation was a key thing for making me feel bad. It's annoying to be told try to sleep when the baby sleeps but it is quite important.

Try to enjoy it - it's a magical time too x