What do you do when you can't co-sleep?

[Sleepysleepysleep]

DD is 3 months. Feeding every 2 hrs 24/7.

Sometimes at night takes an hour to resettle after a feed and then wakes an hr later for a feed anyway.

I am shattered.

MN wisdom is to co-sleep. But I can't, you guys. I hate it and can't sleep.

Our bed isn't big enough and I don't/won't kick DH onto the sofa. So whenever I bring her into bed to desperately try to settle her, I end up lying rigidly beside her unable to move. And I wear a fleece but am still so so cold.

I hate it. And she sleeps, but I just lie there miserably.

So what's the alternative? Tonight I've been awake in a feed/ resettle/lie stiffly awake beside her/ feed cycle since 2.30.

At 5.30 I gave up and have been in an armchair with DS able on me ever since. She'll wake for a feed soon but at least she got 2 hrs unbroken sleep on me. And I'm warmer down here and can watch TV.

It's not good though. Being awake this much.

Don't seem to be able to think of any other options though.

She refuses a bottle. Might not make a difference anyway. Itd be ok if I could keep going on 2 hrs sleep but I'm worried.

And rambling now, sorry.

Co Sleeper Cot?

I didn't use one (they were not really a thing I was aware of when my dc were little), but my friend loves hers.

Have you tried white noise? When my twins were tiny they HAD to learn to self settle, because, well, not enough arms to go round!

I used to feed them and then go downstairs to wash bottles/prepare the next feed, and I would literally turn my hairdryer on and leave it on the floor next to their cot - it was the only thing that worked. They would always be fast asleep by the time I came back upstairs. And they've been brilliant sleepers ever since!

After a week or two I switched to use white noise apps on my phone instead of the hairdryer.

I think she's too big tbh. Or would be within a month. She's almost too big for her rocking cradle and we'll have to move the bigger cot into the room soon.

Yeahfeesh we have Ewan. Not sure he's making any difference tbh. I keep him on a continuous loop as I'm awake anyway but not sure it's doing anything.

I'm the same, I couldn't sleep properly with a baby there too. I just put them back into the crib/basket/cot once they were asleep again. My ds was a terrible night guzzler and would feed every 45 mins for the first 6 months, it was awful. I barely remember his first year, I was like a zombie.

Have to admit I'm not sure how big side sleeper cots are. Can you really last in them for 7/8 months?

Could your dh take on some of the resettling duties? So you feed, hand DD over to dh who settles her (however long that takes), you sleep for two hours, wake, feed, then it's your turn to resettle her.

You could side car a normal cot to your bed I.e. Take the side off, secure it and make sure it's safe with no gaps etc.

The babybay maxi goes to 15m old, if you order from Amazon Germany it works out quite reasonable (about £140) rather than the extortionate cost in the U.K.

DH does the night wakings for our crap sleeping Toddler. So he does enough + am reluctant give him baby as well.

Get a normal cot and remove one side and use it as a co sleeper. Even the cheap IKEA cot can be used with a side removed. Use bungee cords to properly secure the cot to the side of your bed and use a swimming woggle to fill the gap on the far side of the mattress.

I will check out the proper cot. Maybe we can take a side off. Not sure if height would work as it has to be same height as bed, yes?

You can buy raisers for the cot feet if the mattress height is way out.

The co sleepers are really good. My 5 month DD is still fitting into hers easily and she's s big baby! My 3 year old DS can lie in there too (obviously we don't let him!) so they will definitely last until 8+ months.

We made a co slipper from a normal compact cot and it lasted until ds was 12 months old and sleeping well enough to go in his cot bed in his own room.

Raisers!

Sorry, being very fuzzy headed and thick.

Where can you get universal ones? We have a Mothercare cot.

You can hire bedside cots too. We used it up to 6 months.

Yes the Ikea cot many people have taken one side off and used as co sleeper

If you have morhercate cot you should be able to adapt it. Most have several levels so find one near the height of you bed. Use lowest setting if not and raise cot. Can use anything g to raise cot it's just a case of something sturdy under legs to bring it to same height as your mattress

tie cot tight to yours. Look online for ideas

Look here

amandamedlin.com/2013/11/diy-co-sleeper-pretty-little-quilt/

Or you can just wedge cot in also by putting cot against wall with your bed right next to it, then no chance of cot moving

something has to give - get your DH to sleep on the sofa.

Like others have said - we sidecar'd a normal cot to our bed when my little one grew out of his cosleeper. I bought the Ikea cot as it was cheap and just the right side if your Mothercare cot doesn't fit.

It was against the wall on one side, against the bed at mattress level on the other. He had his own space so not in our bed, but close enough that I didn't have to go far in the night every few hours. (And was a kid who was up every few hours to feed, too.)

When he got bigger, I just lowered the mattress and put the side back up and he stayed in it for a little while until he went into his own room.

Oh yes, I remember I watched a hack video to make it into a perfect cosleeler. I think I used some foam and some cords... it wasn't as faffy as it sounds!

Thank youArtanco!

I'm not entirely sure it'll work as often I can transfer her ok but she wakes 10 mins later. I presume cos shes no longer all warm and snuggly under my armpit. So even changing the cot might not work as it could still be the same shit, different bucket.

I'm not making sense.

I just had the cot by the bed and put my hand on ds' back or hold his hand.

What do you do when resettling?

Do you wrap her so the arms can't move too much?
Do you put her on her back or front?