So it took 2 hours to pat my toddler to sleep last night

[ElleDubloo]

This is a "what would you do?" scenario.

Let me preface by saying, 2 year old DD has never had great sleep. When she was a baby we tried sleep training (gently and inconsistently) but when things got difficult she always breastfed to sleep in our bed. After the age of 1, she started sleeping horizontally and kicked DH throughout the night until he had neck problems, so we started putting her to sleep in our bed but then moving her across to the cot when she fell asleep. She continued to wake 1-2 times per night, when either the nanny would get up and pat her back to sleep in her cot, or me/DH would bring her into our bed (we both work long hours so there's only a certain amount of night-time crying we can tolerate).

Since she turned 2 several weeks ago, we've been putting her to sleep in her own cot. Routine thus:

• Shower/bath.
• Nappy and pyjamas.
• Milk.
• Cuddles and book.
• Brush teeth.
• More cuddles and book.
• When DD agrees, DD goes into cot.
• Patting and singing for 30-60-120 mins until DD falls asleep.

She doesn't cry during this routine, it's all very peaceful, but we are NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE ROOM at any point or all hell breaks loose.

Last night I patted her for 1.5 hours before I got fed up and left. She had a melt-down. DH then went in and patted her for another half hour before she fell asleep.

I hear rumours of children who fall asleep in 20 mins after a cuddle and a story. I'd be happy for her to do this. How do I make her do this please.

How was last night op?

I totally feel your pain... My 2yo dd used to go to bed without any problems (the rest of the night was a different story...) but for the past 2 weeks it's taken at least an hour to get her to sleep, and she wants someone to sit there with her otherwise she gets really upset. This is bad enough, but the same thing happens at least twice during the night, and I'm utterly exhausted.

I've been thinking that we need to take control of the situation, but I'm a bit unsure because the sleep chaos has coincided with dd starting to transition into the older kids room at nursery - might be a coincidence, or maybe she's feeling insecure about the change?

Hope things are going well op - I need to hear positive stories about people managing to get a decent nights sleep!

I've been working quite a few long shifts this week, so haven't put her to bed again. She did wake up and cry last night. Nanny went in to calm her, but she kept crying for me (poor thing hasn't seen me for 2 days). So I went in and she calmed down immediately. Sat her on my lap in the rocking chair and we had a lovely cuddle for 15 mins. Then I asked her if she'd like to go to bed, she said "yeah", and I put her down in her cotbed. Sang one song and refrained from patting her. She lay down and fell asleep pretty quickly.

Ah, it's hard to be strict on your kids when you have so little time to be with them! However, I feel things are going as well as they could be expected to go.

Sounds like she's missing her mummy. I know how hard it is when you're working and trying to be there for them too. It's a constant cycle of exhaustion and guilt.

Do you have any nights in the next week where you would have a window to just get a bit of time with her one on one?