I hate my baby.

[MyBreadIsEggy]

I think "hate" is the wrong word. I think "resent" is more accurate, although it feels like hate a lot of the time.
He is 5 weeks old. Has CMPA and colic. All he ever does is cry. He will not be put down and hates the sling, which makes life with a toddler as well near on impossible.
Because I spend all day every day in futile attempts to get DS to sleep, DD is getting ignored most of the time, and I can't help but feel we've made her life worse by giving her a sibling
We've just been out for a walk because it's the only way I could get DS to sleep....the second we got in, DD decided to try and pick him up, woke him and then threw a tantrum, so the effort of getting everyone dressed and out for a walk was pointless, as DS is now wide awake again.
I've already been diagnosed with PND, and I feel like that tunnel is just getting darker and longer with no end in sight. I have precious little RL support, and my toddler's near constant tantrums are close to pushing me over the edge.
I just want someone to come and take my kids away

Hold on tight, it gets better

Please see your gp or, as mentioned above, go to the welfare office. No shame in asking for help, you can't pour from an empty cup.

Eggy are you living on the 'patch' or off base? Second the contact welfare office- I'm 'quite' knowledgeable about RAF/Army help (if you are UK that is).

I really feel for you OP! Please go back to the doctors and discuss how much you are struggling again.
If you were near me I would come and hold your hand

Xxx

One of mine did that with feeding. - few sucks then arched back and screamed. I gave up BF as so traumatic. For us gaviscon in his bottle was a miracle. worth a trip to gp.

And does he have a dummy? That saved my sanity.

Oh bless you.
This was my dd at 5 weeks old.
I wished I'd never had her and really struggled and cried every single day.

Advice.
Record ds when his like this, show it to the gp. Keep going back .
Also with dd I found it in the end all her crying was due to her being tired,
Things that worked.
Naps in the swing chair
A swaddle
A dummy

Hope your okay.

By the way - you can get infant gaviscon over the counter without needing to see the GP (I know it can be tricky getting to the GP with two small DC). Try it, see if it helps, if it does then ask for prescription for more.

And yes, more sleep for your DS will help with the crying, though it is hard to achieve.

HV has been this morning. After observing a feed and the loud, screamy, squirmy aftermath, she agrees that it looks like reflux. DH is going to pick up some gaviscon on his way home

Gaviscon didn't work for us, we had to see the GP. So if you can still record any wriggles or crying so you can report not to your GP x

That is positive.

The Gaviscon may not work (but worth a try) however, you will find it easier to get other things prescribed by the GP now that the HV has said it is reflux.

Also hopefully this may mean the HV will keep a bit of a kindly eye on you and will see if you need further help with your PND etc.

Oh excellent.

If is reflux which is sounds like the Gaviacon hopefully will start to work pretty soon but it takes up to 5 days for the baby's throats to heal. Are you bf or ff? It is a pain the the arse for bf but really easy for ff.

Gaviscon thickens the milk so it will thicken the baby's poo if she becomes constipated then you can always ask for ranitidine instead.

Rantidatine changed my baby overnight. But still with 2 under two and no external support you need to ring home start and the welfare officer. Anybody in your position would need this extra support of somebody to do what a extended family would do if they were around and able.

If it is reflux you need a GP appt. There are several different medicines and not everything works on every baby so there is an element of trial and error.

What strikes me here is that you need help. Do you have space/money for an au pair for a couple of months? Or is there a local teenager that can come in after school for a couple of hours to play with your two year old?

Anyone in your position would find it hard. But try and look at it like this is the worst it will ever be! Babies do get easier and you'll find a routine, particularly if you manage to fix the reflux problem.

My DD has CMPA, there are different types of prescription formula, some are more dairy free than others. If you've been using the milk for a couple of weeks and you've seen some improvement, but not much, you may need to try a different milk. Neocate is completely dairy free, unlike nutramigen. Also, our HV suggested adding a few drops of vanilla essence to the formula as it doesn't taste very nice, and to serve it really quite warm (obviously not dangerously so!) - once we started doing this DD started to take a bit more milk which helped.

Also a military wife, it's so hard to be away from your support network. I agree with previous posters that Homestart are fantastic, please do reach out to them, your heath visitor could do it for you if you'd rather approach her.

You are doing a great job, it's so so hard, and just getting by is a huge achievement.

Really glad the HV has recognised the problem, hope the Gaviscon works and if not that the doc can do something.

Like others have said, you're doing a great job keeping everything together, hopefully this phase will be over soon and you can start enjoying life again xxx

Oh poor you, if you are close to Dorset and need some company or help please PM me, I have 7 month old twins who both had reflux and Collic and it was so hard for the first few months! It gets better

Oh god this is like deja vu

My ds had CMPA and severe reflux. Took him 7 months to get diagnosed

He would cry all day and would wake every hour taking a good 45 mins to get back down

It's amazing we survived.

Do anything that makes life easier. For us that meant ds slept in his swing with the motion going and white noise going for Months. Was the only way he slept.

He's 21 months now and a beautiful little boy.

Same age gap too. Dd was 2 on the 26th March, he was born on the 4th so there was just under two years between them

I just want to send you some sympathy. I had a toddler with SN and a baby with reflux and it almost broke me. I can't even really look at baby pics of my second DC as it just brings back such awful feelings of being overwhelmed and traumatised by the unbelievable stress of the first year of his life. Omeprazole was the medication that worked for us. Took a few weeks to kick in (and teething and vaccinations caused the reflux to flare up again) but it was brilliant. He was nearly 1 before there was any kind of napping or sleeping going on. I got a Close Caboo sling which was the only place he would settle - just screamed relentlessly in the car, buggy, bounced, swing etc.

But once we were out the other side of the reflux hell he became the most amazing and fun little boy. He is an absolute delight now :)

My first baby was like this. It's bloody awful. What helped was ranitidine and things like keeping her upright after a feed, propping her head end of mattress up. I'd also try another formula. I BF for 9 months and then moved onto formula. Took three to find one she was happy with.

I currently have a baby and toddler. It's bloody hard but turning point was around 8 weeks when the feeding calmed down a bit. Dd2 would not be put down and fed non stop for two months! DD1 got neglected but was happy to be bribed with chocolate buttons and the lion king. Keep trying to get out the house for your own sanity. It's not very MN but I'm sending you a hug. It's bloody hard work but if does get better

Newborn times are fucking GRIM when you have a demanding baby. Mine had severe reflux and projectile vomited constantly, and didn't sleep more than 9h total out of 24 until he was about a year old. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you with a toddler. The only really useful advice I can give is that tomorrow is always a bit different from today, and eventually this will pass. Hang in there.

Have you tried a baby swing? When my DD1 was that age she had terrible colic too and we purchased a swing. It made a fantastic difference. Seemed to calm her down. It would also give you a bit of time to spend with your toddler?

this is the swing we had

A total life saver

i really feel for you, it's a shit situation, but it will get better. I had a reflux baby that was a nightmare, almost destroyed me!!

Things that helped;
Gavison
Nuk bottles
Ranitidine
Dummy
Massage after bath on tummy and bicycle legs
Wedged cot up
Put a t shirt id worn in the cot
A bunny to snuggle
White noise playlist

Is there a babysitting service near you that specialises in babies/young children that you could use for a break for a couple of hours midweek to break the week up a little?