Secondary school kids

[SugarNspiceNallThingsNice]

Should a child in year 7, age 11 be responsible for packing their own school bag/p.e kit?

Mine is. So far I've only made two trips to school for forgotten stuff.
I go through his timetable in the morning and check he's got everything, I doubt DH does this when I'm working though

Two trips since September, not today

Yes but overchecked by a parent! And only because it would be me gettting call from school

Yes.

No checking required.
If they forget they take the school's consequences.

Mine is yes. I don't check her timetable either. I do have a chart on the front door where everyone writes down what they need for a particular day and she has put some stuff on there but not the whole timetable. I have also helped her get her room organised with a desk - storage for all her stuff and her timetables up for her to see easily. The rest is up to her.

I wouldn't be making trips for forgotten stuff either - I did in primary but in secondary I would let them face the consequences.

Yes in year 7 the school will be pushing more responsibility on them, they should be responsible for packing their own kit, homework and lunch. I have only taken 1 item in since September of year 7 and I have refused to take anything since. They get detention if they forget items after which most children will never forget again.

chippy that's going to be my stance after Christmas
I know I spoil him and he only relies on me so much because I let him. But that's my guilt for working long hours, when I'm home I'm available

I'm with chippy. I leave for work just after the dc (12/13) get up for school, so they're responsible for bags/kit/lunches. If they forget then they take the schools consequences, so have to buy lunch, borrow kit or get detention. It's only happened once with both.

I work so have no time for molly-coddling

I'm a bit like you chippy. I've been called twice this week! Once by the school secretary and I refused politely and today off the school phone by my daughter herself!
When she was settling in I had taken stuff in for her but now I'm putting my foot down, she needs to take some responsibility.

Of course they should.

I used to remind mine to pack it the night before. I asked in advance if PE kit needed (so it was clean) or cooking ingredients needed (so I could buy them!)

Yes, my DS is year 8 now but has been responsible for packing his PE kit, Lunch when necessary, sailing gear & other essentials since the day he started high school. I've never had to make an emergency dash in either.

Yes. I have a new year 7 and the school is too far away for me to drop forgotten things in. To begin with I was more 'helpful' with the bag packing, now I just say at the door-'got everything you need for today?' and that's that.

Although we have had a rule from the beginning that his bag is packed the night before and all uniform is hung up/put in the wash basket as soon as he's home, which does help with the morning mayhem!

I would be asking the school what their policy is, and why they are ringing you. A forgotten PE kit is hardly the end of the world.

I can't imagine the school ringing me either. Although she hasn't forgotten much yet, just the odd book.

Nope, she could borrow some of the school spares. I also couldn't believe they let her ring me of the office phone either.
I only live a 20 minute walk away so it's not far but I'm being stubborn on this one!

Ds1 is year 9 but from year 7 he had a checklist of things to do that way I wasn't setting him up to fail.

So he has a daily reminder list of what is expected of him, down to opening his curtains, making his bed, and packing his bag the night before with everything he needs for the next day which he checks against his timetable.

That way I don't have to nag, it is clearly laid out and I don't have to lecture him for forgetting something because he doesn't.

In short, yes he is responsible, but I make sure he has the tools in place to be successful. (I am a list maker myself and reply on these for my own organisation.)

Yes, DS2 who is 11 does. Prompted a little in the first month but pretty much self sufficient now. He does watch his older brother though who is very well organised like me

Mine are

12 (s2 so roughly y8)
14 (s3, roughly y10)
16 (s5, roughly y12)

And have been responsible for own bags and kits since starting at high school. Bit of prompting to begin with but as I simply can't go running across Glasgow with a lunch, PE kit etc (disabled and can't drive - will taxi if someone is genuinely unwell!), they've just had to learn.

Yes, dd is in year 9 now and has been responsible for her things from day 1 of year 7. Actually before that in primary but less things to remember then. I've taken her cookery things in once and her PE kit in once, that's it. She's had a detention for forgotten cookery things in year 8 and had to borrow a friend's kit for PE but the deal was I'd do it once and then that's it.

I am a secondary teacher and I see a broad spectrum of students of different organisational abilities from those who do it all by themselves to those who need a lot of support. I think the main thing it to teach them the skills they need to be organised e.g. Check lists and making sure that they have a routine to pack their bags.

Occasionally, I can think of 3 students in 10 years, who need support with every step of the process but they all could organise themselves by the end of high school. I don't think it is helpful when parents bail students out on a regular basis.

A bit of compromise... I support them to do it themselves, but they are still kids & shouldn't pay heavy price for mistakes. If they forget something important I will consider taking it to them. Mine go 2 school 9 miles away, not 20 min. walk,