does anyone else feel like this?

[TheArmadillo]

Ds is now 2.4 and has always been independant and confident. He has spent a lot of time with family members and so is used to spending lots of time with various carers.

But he has never really expressed a preference for me ever. Its not just that he runs excitedly to other people and not me, he sees me more and so I know that is to be expected. But if he cries he'll go to anyone - me, dp, gps etc. If he's scared or upset or ill or whatever.

It sometimes feels like I'm the one who stayed up all night with him when he had colic, I'm the one who gave birth to him, I'm the one who is his MUMMY and it seems like I'm not special to him.

My mum thinks this is all in my head to a certain extent and that he is just a confident, sociable child. And I know I should be grateful that I don't have any problems with him and I am.

sorry that is self-indulgent I know but sometimes it hurts. He loves me I know, but no more than say granma who he sees a couple of times a week. And yes I am glad that it makes everything easier and that he is able of having so many close relationships with family but...

Thanks for the comments again. I have realised that this again all comes down to the eating thing. I feel that I failed cos of that and that makes me think all this other stuff. Logically I can tell myself why he doesn't eat and all the reasons behind it.

But I don't know how to get over it - its been a constant in our lives. Never having had more than a couple of months here and there where it hasn't been an issue.

ok I'm going on and on, but I need to get over the food thing.

First thing in the morning positive exercises.

how are you feeling today Armadillo?

feeling embarassed now but better. Thanks for asking.

Have been focusing on positive thinking. Of course ds kicked off this morning about wanting to stay home with me and not go to my parents - wonder if he was reading this, cos he's never done that before, but he is under the weather at the moment. It wasn't a big kicking off just general refusal to get dressed and not wanting to go. Very strange.

And he didn't eat breakfast (though he's hidden part of it somewhere and I haven't found it yet) but I felt fine about it. I knew he was unwell and that meant he didn't want to eat, not anything about me.

He's running around with his auntie and the mo and keeps popping in to see what I am doing