Just screamed at my 11 month old, again

[Danity856]

I put her to bed and as soon as I'm downstairs at my computer she was up and crying. I went and up and I screamed at her :( "GET TO SLEEEEEP!"

this has happened a handful of times already not just this one time!

I have a business and this month is really important for sales. Everyday my to do list increases tenfold but most days I barely scratch two things off the list. My 11 month old DD is looked after for about 4 hours one day a week and that is really the longest period of time I have at once to work otherwise she is looked after on tuesday for 6 hours in the day but that is because I am actively selling at my pop up shop. I mostly wait until she is asleep to work on my business. Sometimes I have been able to get lots of work in at night time and evening times but recently she is teething...

After I raise my voice she looks shocked, goes completely silent and looks away from me and falls asleep. Why does she do this? Have I completely terrified her to silence?

Now that I have told you everything please can someone help me to come up with some solution or solutions to the problem of my anger and impatience with her lately? I can't give up on the business, it's getting National recognition, huge investment opportunity, and support from most well known charities. it's a ground breaking business with an important cause behind it and I think everyone will be disappointed in me if I put it to bed... but at the same time it's at an early stage where despite the recognition the investment is not confirmed and I can't actually afford to employ help or even to put funds into child care, my mum will only look after dd for one day atm .

On top of all that I feel like I'm going looney, when I don't get the time in a night to work I have realistic dreams that I complete the tasks I needed to, so much so that I failed to do a key thing this week because I literally though I had done it...

danity, it's really tough being a mum to a little one and working, and the additional strain of creating a start up will really put on the pressure.

One thing that helped me was realising I had to live to my real limits, not keep on expecting myself to live to an ideal set of limits and then dealing with the guilt when you fail!

Work out what makes you, personally, snap. And then try and manage everything so you don't put yourself in that situation daily.

Obviously we all have bad days, but the idea is not to have your breaking point 'baked in'. It's a kind of self care actually, which is something a lot of mothers find ends up last on their list. But it's worth making it a priority, as then everyone else ends up feeling the benefits!

Good luck. You obviously want to be less frazzled and less likely to lose it and end up shouting at your baby. And asking advice is an eminently sensible way to change that.