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Parenting

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Original poster

Sleep training

35 replies

Summerdays2014 · 20/09/2016 14:10

Hi,

I know this is a contentious subject but... Have you ever tried controlled crying with your child? Did it work? How long did it take? How old were they? What made you decide that you finally had to do it? Did you do it for naps as well as evening sleep? Are you pleases you did it?

Apologies for all the questions. I know lots of you will come on and say how cruel it is and how it will damage the child, but I'm now at breaking point with my 8 month old and I am thinking of trying this.

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Original poster

Summerdays2014 · 21/09/2016 19:52

Well he fell asleep in 20 minutes tonight which is great. He's just woken up, but wasn't properly crying and has gone back to sleep.

He has been in an awful mood all afternoon though and he was fine all morning until we did the controlled crying for the nap. He was unhappy at being put down even for a minute and very whiney and crying. This is what happened last time I tried the CC and one of the reasons I gave up. Thanks for your support writer.

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Horsegirl1 · 21/09/2016 20:09

Co sleeping has been my sleep saviour . I was beyond exhausted with first 2 kids having been told babies should sleep in cots . Then had dd3 and followed my instincts and coskept. It has been a miracle and we all get tons of sleep

Original poster

Summerdays2014 · 22/09/2016 14:08

So last night was great, he stirred a few times but didn't wake up until 6.50 am. Fantastic.

However, naps have bit worked once. He just screams for 30 minutes (according to the Ferber book that's all you give) then he will fall asleep immediately in th car or, as he is now on me with the dummy (which we haven't been using at night)

I can't understand why it's working at night but not during the day. I just want some time on my own during the day.

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Original poster

Summerdays2014 · 22/09/2016 14:09

NOT worked once (sorry didn't check post)

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Writerwannabe83 · 23/09/2016 07:33

Great news about the night!!

What is your routine in his bedroom before you put him down at night? Does he have a story before bed? Does he sleep in a gro-bag? Does he have a bottle of milk?

Original poster

Summerdays2014 · 23/09/2016 09:12

Yes I'm so happy about the night, last night was the same, cried for 20 minutes then slept through until 6.15. I'm amazed it's working so well. To be honest I haven't even tried to put him down for the nap this morning. He's asleep on me with the dummy.

At night we change nappy, put night clothes on, into sleeping bag, 7oz bottle, cuddle, put down.

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Writerwannabe83 · 23/09/2016 12:29

The idea is to make his nap time routine as similar to his bedtime routine as you can so that he keeps that association of sleep.

So for his nap time you'd change his nappy in his room, put him in his sleeping bag, give him a bottle, cuddle and put down.

Also, does he have a story at any time?

My Sleep Specialists said that bedtime stories are an great sleep cue for babies and advised that before sleep time (bedtime and nap time) I read two stories and that when it comes to reading the second story make sure it's the same story each time. It doesn't matter which story of theirs you choose to read first but by always having the same second story they associate that one story with sleep time and it's another way to trigger an "it's time to sleep" reaction in the baby.

My DS's constant second story was about a gorilla that played the piano and I got sick of reading it three times a day (bedtime and two nap times) everyday but it seemed to work!!

Also, the soothing tones of your voice when reading to then will naturally have a relaxing effect on them.

Original poster

Summerdays2014 · 23/09/2016 15:50

That makes sense. I don't have any sort of routine at nap time or any set times of the day when he goes down (because he wakes at different times and his naps are different lengths every day!)

Bedtimes became such a nightmare we cut the routine drastically, he now has a bath in the morning and stories throughout the day as he was just screaming (suspect massively overtired)

I'll try a routine, and also putting him down at specific times.

Thanks writer

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Writerwannabe83 · 23/09/2016 16:06

At 8 months of age my DS's sleep routine was:

Naps were 09.30-11.00 and 14.00-15.30.

Bedtime was 19.00-06.00

It was the Sleep Consultant that told me to work to that routine and she said that ideally, bedtime routine from start to finish should be about 45-60 minutes to really wind them down and make the transition from daytime to nighttime.

My routine used to be upstairs for his bath at about 6.15pm, into pyjamas and into his room by 6.35pm, then a 10 minute breast feed, into his sleeping bag, dim the bedroom (I.e main light off and night light on) then his stories and then into his cot.

Original poster

Summerdays2014 · 23/09/2016 18:21

Writer that's great advice thank you (again) I've got into the habit of rushing bedtime as its so hard just to be screamed at. I'll make more of an effort now (though to be honest my husband has been putting him down since we started controlled crying as I just couldn't face it anymore.) fingers crossed we have another night where he sleeps through, that would be 4 in a row and totally unheard of. Also hoping the crying when we put him down subsides a bit now that we are on night 4.

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