Newborn help please!!

[Luckystar1]

Dd is 12 days old. Feeding well etc. Having huge issues with over tiredness already. I really need help and advice please.

DS wouldn't nap and got incredibly overtired as a baby. It was the most awful time and really took a year to sort out. It dragged me to the brink of PND as he spent hours a day screaming while I tried everything to calm him to sleep.

History appears to be repeating itself, but I don't have the time (or energy!) to dedicate another year (and hours a day) getting DD to sleep. She has screamed before every single sleep today. I've tried everything. She's in a sling most of the time, still screaming and refusing to sleep. I put her down with white noise-same, I've tried feeding, shushing, rocking, everything. All to no avail. She is currently screaming.

I cannot cope with this, I just can't do it all over again.

She's either sleeping, feeding or screaming. I'm on the edge already and we're barely days in. I can't have the screaming baby again.

What do I do?!

12 poos a day seems fine to me at this stage.

Definitely try a dummy. Also, have you tried giving baby a Muslim to hold. Some babies like this.

Why are you holding baby all the time? Try a day of putting her down more tomorrow.

Be agile, write down 5 ideas, and do each of them for 2 days.

Are the poo'd really explosive? & is she red & straining a lot?
It could be CMPA or sleep fighting so hard to tell at this stage.

My DS has CMPA & as soon as I cut dairy out of my diet, poo's stopped being so explosive & less red & straining & less crying.

Hope it doesn't last a year again for you OP.

Have you tried putting her to sleep on her side? I know this goes against the safe advice, but I think from my reading, provided they cannot roll on to their front, is not too unsafe? This comes with the proviso that I am no baby safety expert, so please do your own research before trying it.
This worked wonders for my dd, and another friend I gave the same advice to.

Amazingly she had a good night, after the hour of screaming in the bedroom to get her to sleep. She slept on me for 3 hours and then into the sleepyhead.

I'm praying today is a better day, and I think I'm going to get a dummy for her. Does anyone have any experience of using them for just a few weeks? As I really don't want to be saddled with trying to get rid of one in a few months.

I want to know what you consider a good night
My 10 day old had his best night ever - cluster feeding to 11. Slept to 3.30 then feed/nappy change/feed until 4am. Slept until 7am! Miraculous

Oh yours is much better than mine!! She was up at 12, then 2, then 5, then 7.... Believe me, the fact she went back to sleep in between rather than being awake for 2 hours was an added bonus!!

My newborn loves 'brown noise' it is like magic!

Ok I'll look that up too. Who knew there were so many noises!!

Yeah your night sounds more like my usual night and like a good night with dd1
She only slept in 45 min stretches. Was horrible...but once we sorted the overstimulation out it improved in a couple of days. I had to be really strict though and made for a bit of a boring life for a while

Yes Susan, I can remember being tied to the house for weeks on end with DS trying to regulate naps.

I'm slightly concerned that once we start back st his groups DD will be wide eyed with over stimulation...! She has been gloriously asleep all morning while DS is at nursery, so she can do it if there is minimal activity.

I think she is going to have to go upstairs for naps while DS is at home. Completely anti any advice, but she obviously needs the sleep

I wonder if ear defenders would help? Once you've established if it is overstimulation of course?

Oh I have a pair of those. I reckon she'd kick off rather spectacularly but I'll dig them out.

Today has been a bit better, she is still awake for 2 hour slots but we have had big chunks of sleep and the dummy/swing chair/white noise/zero sound making in the house, kept her calm if not 'asleep' (she entered some sort of zen trance). Once she's not screaming (ok she is right now) but once it's not all day, I'm a bit happier...!

Winding, we used gripe water and then later on infacol, sling, and - I know this is controversial - but my DS loved a dummy in the early months. It really helped him to settle (albeit only on me) and I just think he needed that extra comfort. I took them away later on so it doesn't have to be a permanent thing.

Ok I'm now desperate. Please!

DH went back to work this morning. She has slept for 30 minutes since 9am, that took from 9am to 11am to achieve. I've been trying to get her back to sleep since she woke.

I've tried feeding/shushing/patting/swing chair. She closes her eyes for a second and then they fly open. She's obviously knackered.

DS' toys were waking her so I took her upstairs but that meant leaving DS (he's only 21 months!!) downstairs on his own.

Ive spent literally the entire morning in tears.

I can't do this again. All of the awful memories of not leaving the house and not wanting visitors and fighting with DH have come flooding back.

I've also got a really sore pelvis (went for a relatively short walk yesterday) so I can't take them in the pushchair or put her in the sling.

I'm struggling to contain my anger and frustration. This is only day 1.

Also every time she poos, day or night, she's then wide awake for 2 hours... I say this as I've just heard her pooing... The last one was the cause of the current period of wakefulness.

Please help!

Ok. Keep calm. Remember if you get too frustrated she will pick up on that and it will make it worse, so take a minute to calm yourself before going to her. Time it if you want.
Try stripping her off then swaddling in a muslin if it's warm where you are. If you did bouncing on a birth ball before her birth try that - along with the swaddling it will help to recreate pre birth conditions. Try playing womb sounds and close curtains. Ds can watch cartoons quietly in the same room eating his favourite junk food or whatever. Your sanity is more important...

controversial - my now 6 month old would only sleep on her tummy, so i went with that. In daytime, dumped her on her mat with a 'needs a wash' muslin face down (head to the side obviously). And my 3yo old watched a lot of ben and holly while eating carrot crisps. and infacol might of helped (I tried everything)

You are doing an amazing job, it WILL get better, promise .

Oh yes - dd1 only slept on her tummy on my chest. I had forgotten that! Now ds will only sleep on his side - I prop him up on a rolled hand towel up to chin level to stop him rolling into his tummy.

Sorry to hear that LuckyStar. I give DS my phone with YouTube kids (or other apps) while DD naps on the boob.
Not sure if that's any use but when he was a baby DS had bad reflux and it helped when I cut out dairy from my diet. Co-sleeping helped me get some sleep.

Has anyone had success with a weighted glove?

Thank you all. DH came home from work at 2.30 (thankfully he is in a position to do so!) and we have decided that I will just not stress and try and get her to sleep but rather follow her lead...

I hope it works!! In fairness to her, she's awake but not upset (it was me panicking that she was awake too long), and once she's asleep she sleeps well so I should probably relax a bit!

Thank you all. Today was hopefully a low...!

I'm really sorry to say this .... It sounds like a dairy intolerance !!! My DD was exactly the same!
Cut all the dairy out of your diet for the next couple of weeks and see if things improve. Try some Coleif too ignore the instructions express onto spoon, add drops and shove in moth while screaming.., loads of opportunity. Is she dry at all on her skin... If she has lots of little dry patches then call my Dr Owly. If not ... Call me what you like!

Gosh OP that sounds so tough!!

Not particularly helpful suggestions but my thoughts are...
Over tiredness? Mine didn't suffer that til a bit older as he would sleep anytime anywhere while tiny. But does sound like it and 90 mins is a long time at that age.
Wind- utter bollocks that bf babies don't need winding. I don't think you can spend too long winding and mine didn't self wind just front being upright until a lot older. Took a lot of effort.
I'd get her checked for allergies and reflux although mine easily pooed 12 times a day. He's a very in-and-out baby.
Lying down feeding to sleep?
Side sleeping?

Is there any money at all for a post natal doula or maternity nurse? I remember about the same time just being obsessed with the idea of getting sleep. I'd have done anything. I had wild fantasies about what we could do to afford a night nurser. It's all consuming and debilitating and one good day/night would make all the difference.

Oh and infacol and gripe water!

Re the overstimulation. We had this BADLY at 4 month sleep regression and ever since. My only sanity savers were wearing him in sling while he sucked a dummy and while wearing my breastfeeding cover up high round my neck so it acted as a hood for him so he couldn't see anything to distract him. While walking in a really exaggerated bouncing motion.
Also wheeling in pram with a massive sheet pinned over it so he couldn't see out. Fast pace over quite bumpy surface. Also a muslin for him to hold.

It does sound like CMPA.

It's such a hard time OP. I hope you get some sleep tonight and tomorrow is a better day.