Before kids, I had never...

[Slippersandacuppa]

dishwashed a dinosaur.

DS2 had a bug. He vomited all over a T Rex (and his bunk bed stairs, the floor, the wall, the door...).

There's a first time for everything, I guess.

Sucked snot out of another person. DD was about 4 months old, smothered with a cold and I couldn't get the squishy bulb thing to work. It was grim.

...caught another person's diarrhea with my bare hands.

Pulled a tombliboo out of a guitar

swallowed someone else's projectile vomit

Got my breasts out in the cafe in M&S, ikea, Pret, random city centre street benches, busses, trains, etc etc.

Got my breasts out in the cafe in M&S, ikea, Pret, random city centre street benches, busses, trains, etc etc.

I did some of that before kids

...Sung to anyone. Now ds (7) has picked up my awful singing voice or maybe inverted it. Still it was lovely to sing rhymes to him when he was younger. We duetted out-of-tunefully today to Ella Fitzgerald's interpretation of Cole Porter songs - Anything goes!

Sorry that should read 'inherited' not 'inverted'!

Applauded someone for doing a shit

Poked through poo looking for a penny.

Cleaned poo off the TV, floor and various toys that was a bad day...

Made up songs about poo.

Called it poo instead of shit.

... spent a Saturday evening hoovering cous-cous out of the printer.

Pointed and waved at lorries, tractors, diggers and any emergency service vehicle. Thank you for beeping, waving back and putting on your lights and sirens!

Taken my sock off to use it as a makeshift arsewipe. Desperate times.

Picked up someone else's shit off my kitchen floor. (Or my own, just to be clear )

Picked someone else's nose.

Bitten someone else's fingernails.

I note that getting up close and personal with other people's poo is a common theme here..

Totally lost my shit

Used a (clean) sanitary towel to stem the flow of a nosebleed.

Picked up a child/toddler and sniffed their bum to see if the nappy needed changing.

Slept (mostly) sitting up, in a recliner chair for a whole night with a newborn on my chest.

Congratulated someone for burping.

thought I had a temper.

Cried from being so tired (since I was a baby!)

Knew that I could catch someone else's vomit