The one piece of advice you wish you'd received

[BexusSugarush]

My friend is 6 months pregnant and asked me for any first time parenting advice they don't tell you about in the books. Well, despite antenatal classes, family, friends and baby books, somehow I missed the single piece of advice that could have completely changed my dd's early life:

A breastfed baby will likely spend their entire first few weeks at the breast when awake.

No one thought to tell me that they feed differently to bottle-fed babies; it's not just one feed and then wait a few hours for the next. If I'd known that when my newborn cried she wanted the breast, we could have saved ourselves weight-loss, hospitalisation, formula top-ups, lactation consultants etc etc. That is my major (and in hindsight, completely obvious) piece of advice for her.

What one piece of advice do you think would have prepared you better for those first weeks with a new baby?

That vests and tops with envelope necks can be taken off down towards the feet when covered in poo!

Aside from 'keep taking the pill, you have NO idea what you're letting yourself in for', I think 'have confidence in your intuition' and 'don't always put your needs last'. As a new parent I was so full of self-doubt, but if I used my good sense that was generally all that was needed. Raising a baby isn't rocket science, putting them down in their cot to cry when you're at the end of your tether won't harm them, and putting yourself first at least some of the time is essential.

Sometimes babies just need to cry, if they are fed clean and warm (and not ill) don't panic don't try a million stimulating things just hold them shush them and wait it out.

They are all different.

I agree with "they are all different" so do not compare!

Also if I'm allowed another, it's "don't think this behaviour will last forever, when they are going through a terrible stage things will be different soon"

Resist the urge to google everything, and there's not necessarily a pattern or logic to newborns.

If your nether regions are a bit battered, learn to breastfeed lying down.

Enjoy just sitting with your baby, no housework, cooking etc. You don't get the same chance to do it when subsequent babies come along!

Don't panic and don't google every little thing.

Don't be hard on yourself. You will be fine.

That you are the only mum they'll know, and they don't know that you're doing it wrong.

In so much as, if you make a mistake the baby won't know, so don't beat yourself up about it.

Do what feels right to you - don't worry if it's not what others are doing or telling you to do, go with what feels right to you.

Everyone has their opinion on how to raise children. Listen politely and then do it your way.

Whatever phase it is you are struggling with say to yourself ' this will soon pass'.

That when your new born latches on for 10 hours straight in night 2, it's normal, it's just your milk coming in.

There is no book that was written about YOUR child. Advice books are great but no one book will fit your child perfectly.

Having said that, I always say that there is only one piece of advice I will give - when people offer advice, nod, smile and say "thanks, I'll try that", then do whatever the hell you think is right.

The best thing anyone told me was to choose who you ask/accept advice from carefully. Also if you think you are doing your best for your baby then you probably are. Finally don't have gas and air as an analgesic when you are in labour as it sucks as a pain killer

Yup, the piece of advice that you got OP would have been good for me too. BF is constant, not intermittent.

Also, I wish someone would have said that you are not a failure if you don't BF - it's no big deal, the baby just needs feeding!!

Everything is just a phase....I remember stressing over various things for example DS1 cried whenever we took him out the bath. Looking back that probably lasted about 4 weeks but when you're living in it, it feels like forever.

The first 8-10 weeks are the hardest, once they start going longer between feeds it becomes easier & once they start smiling back at you you don't mind so much that you are up for the third time that night!

My other point would be to make the most of them happily lying in a pram, sitting in a pushchair or even high chair & enjoy going out for lunches & coffees during this time because once they start moving you'll never have the chance!

The best advice I wish I had received is that if you breastfeed you can easily feed your baby while laying down and get some sleep while they want to hang off your boob for 10hrs straight!

I agree with yours OP. Also babies like to sleep being held. No matter how many fancy gadgets are about they want to be close to you. Enjoy this time, it's nature's way of making you rest.

That planned co-sleeping (with the right bed coverings to prevent overheating) is safe, or failing that, one of those three-sided cots that latches onto the side of the bed. You will get loads more sleep that way.

Most babies don't just fall asleep when they're tired.

I was that dumb.

Even if there are no issues, (tongue tie I'm looking at you!) breastfeeding often hurts like hell and is hard work! At least to begin with.