worried about niece and nephew

[natalya7]

Hi,
I'm new here so not sure if I'm posting in the right place..
My sister has an almost 4 yr old little girl and a almost 3 yr old little boy. Outwardly it would appear nothing is wrong, they're dressed ok, clean etc. it's more my sister and her husbands routine I worry about. My sister does love her kids don't get me wrong, but she is not the most caring person, she works 44 hours a week & the kids are in nursery 4 days a week, the other day with grandma. The almost 3 year old is not potty trained nor have they attempted to saying they don't have the time. He is very aware and let's you know when he's done something but won't go to the toilet even if we put pants on him. Basically no one has put the time in with him. My almost 4 year old niece is developing a speech problem, she stutters A LOT and still has a dummy.. Again it's 'easier' to let her have it. They're behavior is atrocious, they are not used to the word 'no' and do as they please, if anyone says no they throw a huge tantrum. My sister and husband are lazy parents and live their lives as though they don't have kids, my sister is out most weekends and more interested in her appearance. She spends no time with them in the week but will get someone to have them on a weekend too. I think this could be why they're behavior is so bad, they have no routine. They both fall to sleep downstairs, and are carried upto bed about 11pm and then have to get up at 6.30 to be at nursery at 8 until 6. I'm worried about my niece because she starts school in September and will be at school from 8-6 everyday at breakfast and after school club, she will also be there in the holidays. I feel really bad for her, she is so insecure. They don't sit for meals, they snack. They have no routine.
My sister is chasing money and abandoning her kids.
My mother has tried to tell her, she just doesn't listen, thinks the kids behaviors is fine and as long as she is happy that's all that matters.
I used to love my sister and we were very close, but she has changed so much that I don't even know who she is anymore. I'm not sure what I should do. Does anyone have any suggestions? Am I overreacting? Is this normal?

I don't think we should have to behave like men in order to change that.

'Behave like men' in what respect?
Working full time?

Oh and I know a few research scientist and engingers who don't work now after having children (or do lots paid part work) as the pay actually isn't that high and there are either no or very few part time jobs in these fields. They call it the brain drain. We lose loads of well educated women as there is little flexibility for work in these areas.

And yes your right we should be asking what is the dad doing why couldn't be be asking for flexible working? Helping out more with the children. Which he mustn't be doing of they are passing them round to relatives instead.

Xpost Honey

yep apparently being career orientated and working full time is a man's domain. despair inducing.

Well it isn't of men want to work part time to.

And what has valuing your career got to do with working full time that's a bit like saying everyone who works part time doesn't value the job they do. Some jobs are only part time so that's not a great thing to say either.

You lot have a very indelible way of looking at the world.

*Inflexible - dam phone

I was going to write a long message but when you said you have one four month old child I realised I didn't need to!
Phone social services if you are genuinely worried. I'm positive they will be completely and utterly unconcerned...

I also think social services should be called to put this odious woman right and save ze poor keedz.