would you report this person and how could I go about doing it!?

[sammyjayneex]

So we live in a culdesac and my children play out on the street. I check on them every 5-10 mins.
My 9 year old told me when I brought her in for tea that this van ( looks like it's some form of transport for dropping Off the elderly or disabled children to their homes) and he was dropping off this lady ( I think she's a member of staff he must work with as she wears a badge but I can't quite catch where she works) in one of the houses opposite to us. My daughter said she was stood with her friend and he started talking to them and they turned around and said something along the lines of 'your in trouble you, or are you in trouble or stay out of trouble you' something along those lines, my daughter didn't quite catch it because he said of and drove off. Now to me this is unacceptable, approaching young girls, making unpleasant remarks and driving off. She said she just ignored him. I've told her she should never talk to strangers and she should come straight to me as soon as it happens instead of ages after. I have seen this van plenty of times. One time a man made a Comment towards me whilst I was walking down the street, I ignored him and put him down to being a rude sad man, but now he's made comments towards my daughter I'm fuming and want to report him but there isn't any company name on the van. It's just a van with Windows. I was thinking of waiting tomorrow afternoon for the van to come up and taking is reg number or approaching myself and asking him who the hell he thinks he is!

[blueskyinmarch]

Don't get into trouble is a fairly normal thing to say to kids. Not everything that is said to kids needs to be a learning point. It's just a random statement people say.

[TheUnsullied]

TimeForWhine the OP doesn't know how it was said or even what was said. All she knows is that someone spoke to her DD.

[RidersOnTheStorm]

Good grief, OP. YABVU. And silly.

[insancerre]

Eh?
Report him for having a conversation?
Are you mad?

[sammyjayneex]

Yes I am
English, I am from the uk and yes I have heard of the saying 'stay out of trouble' but I've known it to be said by people who actually know the children they are talking to not randoms in the street

When I said 'to get his kick 'what I meant was this 'joke' or 'phrase' was mostly for his benefit to get something out of it as the girls just turned away and didn't find it funny and were not interested so it was mainly for his own benefit.

[TimeForWhine]

TheUnsullied, that's not true, he spoke to her too on another occasion. I still think, if op and her daughter feel creeped out, then just maybe the man concerned is not so lovely as some would believe. Disclaimer - really not saying he's sinister, but unsolicited edgy comments can feel threatening.

[Wolfiefan]

He's trying to be sociable. He's not trying to get anything other than maybe a few words or a smile from a nice person.
If you don't want randoms off the street to speak to your kids then keep them in!

[blueskyinmarch]

I doubt he was trying to get something out of it. He just made a remark to some kids hanging about. Jeez. Over reaction much!

[TheUnsullied]

TheUnsullied, that's not true, he spoke to her too on another occasion.

She doesn't know that, she's presuming it's the same person. And He probably is a prick who likes to get one over on women is a ridiculous conclusion to draw whether he spoke to one of them or both.

[Furiosa]

sammyjayneex what exactly did he say to the first time when you were walking down the street?

[sammyjayneex]

This is what I don't want.. I don't want to walk down the street minding my own business and to be told to 'smile or cheer up' by some random man in a van

I don't want a random man making pointless comments to my daughter when he doesn't know her and doesn't even understand the context of what he said just because he thinks it's his right or to make his day more humorous.

[Wolfiefan]

So stay inside?

If he shouted out nice arse you would have a point. But you can't stop people talking to you?!

[TheUnsullied]

Then you need to be more socially resilient sammy. You not wanting strangers to talk to you or your DD while you're out in public doesn't make it unacceptable and won't stop it from happening because some others you'll encounter are quite fond of being sociable.

[coolaschmoola]

Good grief.... Best invest in a couple of bubbles for you and dd.

[blueskyinmarch]

I speak random people and kids all the time when i am out and about. I do this as i am a friendly, chatty person. I have no agenda. Some people are just like that. I find most people to be friendly and responsive in return.I suspect you are in the minority OP.

[sammyjayneex]

Don't people understand me or something. I wouldn't mind a man walking by me saying 'hello' I would reply back with a smile and say hello back. But why should I be harassed by a man driving a van purposely rolling down his window telling me to smile? That's not being sociable that's being a twat

[user7755]

Lord alive, perhaps he was trying to be friendly!

Don't you ever make throw away comments to people to be friendly?

I agree that shouting cheer up love out of a van window is a bit meh, but a friendly throw away comment is genuinely not an issue.

You really are making a huge unnecessary issue out of this, can't you see that?

[Bohemond]

I assume that OP does not know the phrase since she never talks to anyone

[AugustaFinkNottle]

I'm going down my street minding my own business whys should I then be harassed by a man so he gets his kicks?

How on earth do you think someone is getting "kicks" out of saying "Cheer up"? And how does it harass you for someone to say that?

She didn't like the comments, therefore making it unacceptable

The fact that someone doesn't like what another person says does not make it unacceptable. Your daughter can't even remember what he said, she can't be that bothered about it.

My daughter didn't even 'get' the joke

But it doesn't sound like it was meant to be a joke, just a friendly comment in passing. Maybe the entire problem is that both you and your daughter are trying to read something into it that just isn't there.

Nothing wrong with talking to children as long as the context is ok. He could have just said, hello are you ok, are you having a nice time playing. But no instead it's' don't get into trouble'. What's the point? No child will learn or get anything out of the comment he made

I think I'd be rather more worried about someone saying to strange children "Hello, are you OK? Are you having a nice time playing?" Because that would sound like an attempt to get into a conversation with them which might lead to more. But just a passing comment "Don't get into trouble" doesn't require any response from them, it's just a friendly comment of the type people make all day every day. No-one expects people to "learn" or get anything out of social chitchat.

I'm just stunned you could read so much into four short words and take so much offence from them.

[TimeForWhine]

I'm with you sammy. It's entitled male behaviour to my mind. Not funny, not necessary, and why should I have to just smile and put up with someone who feels they can make random strange comments in passing?

And I strongly believe there is a huge difference between genuinely friendly passing chat, which I love, and other crap that no longer happens to me because luckily I'm too old now.

[TheUnsullied]

You're not being harassed OP. You're being overly sensitive.

[AugustaFinkNottle]

When I said 'to get his kick 'what I meant was this 'joke' or 'phrase' was mostly for his benefit to get something out of it

But why on earth do you think it was meant to be a joke or that he was trying to get something out of it? It's no different from saying something like "Hi, nice day" as you walk past someone in the street - it's just a passing comment, a bit of harmless chitchat. If you say something like that to someone, are you joking or trying to get something out of it?

[Buggers]

Posting such a ridiculous thing about a man you don't know is far more offensive than his comments towards your daughter.

[exWifebeginsat40]

blimey OP, you're getting a right kicking. I wonder what the popular opinion would be if the man had been on a building site instead of in a van.

however, it's not really a police matter. speak to the man, or to whoever lives over the road.