would you report this person and how could I go about doing it!?

[sammyjayneex]

So we live in a culdesac and my children play out on the street. I check on them every 5-10 mins.
My 9 year old told me when I brought her in for tea that this van ( looks like it's some form of transport for dropping Off the elderly or disabled children to their homes) and he was dropping off this lady ( I think she's a member of staff he must work with as she wears a badge but I can't quite catch where she works) in one of the houses opposite to us. My daughter said she was stood with her friend and he started talking to them and they turned around and said something along the lines of 'your in trouble you, or are you in trouble or stay out of trouble you' something along those lines, my daughter didn't quite catch it because he said of and drove off. Now to me this is unacceptable, approaching young girls, making unpleasant remarks and driving off. She said she just ignored him. I've told her she should never talk to strangers and she should come straight to me as soon as it happens instead of ages after. I have seen this van plenty of times. One time a man made a Comment towards me whilst I was walking down the street, I ignored him and put him down to being a rude sad man, but now he's made comments towards my daughter I'm fuming and want to report him but there isn't any company name on the van. It's just a van with Windows. I was thinking of waiting tomorrow afternoon for the van to come up and taking is reg number or approaching myself and asking him who the hell he thinks he is!

[blueskyinmarch]

So what were the comments he made to you?

[sammyjayneex]

So if my daughter and the other girl didn't like the man saying that to them and it made them feel 'confused' your telling me my daughter is at fault. She didn't like the comments, therefore making it unacceptable

[peggyundercrackers]

Sorry but you sound completely unreasonable, it doesn't sound like this man is getting off doing anything. Nothing he is doing sounds unacceptable however you sound like your making a mountain out of a molehill

[peggyundercrackers]

A lot of people in life are going to say something to her she doesn't like... It's part of life.

[sammyjayneex]

I won't report him but I sure will be having a quite word with him.
My daughter didn't even 'get' the joke. She said she was confused as to why he said that to her. He may just be an annoying sad little man, so i will be keeping an eye on it in future.

[Buzzardbird]

No-one is at fault, there is no fault. There was no crime commited.

You really should be teaching her some social skills on how to talk to people. You seem to have a history of getting upset with people for no reason.

[Cel982]

*inappropriate, obvs [sigh]

[Furiosa]

Whats "sad" about talking to children you don't know

I do it all the time!

Is it because he's a man?

[NerrSnerr]

It's not about fault. It's just one of those things. People talk to children because they like children. Bus drivers etc will sometimes talk to people. Just tell her to smile and nod next time.

[sammyjayneex]

Nothing wrong with talking to children as long as the context is ok. He could have just said, hello are you ok, are you having a nice time playing.

But no instead it's' don't get into trouble'

What's the point? No child will learn or get anything out of the comment he made

He's obviously immature man

[user7755]

So if my daughter and the other girl didn't like the man saying that to them and it made them feel 'confused' your telling me my daughter is at fault.

Who said that? I said that your daughter didn't get the gist of it and was confused, because you seemed to be saying that she knew the gist of what was said, which contradicts your original post.

[user7755]

Sammyjayneex - are you English? I ask because referring to kids as trouble is a very common thing in the UK - it isn't at all strange and doesn't mean he is immature. Not all comments have to lead to learning or getting anything out of them except making informal conversation / passing time / being friendly.

I wonder whether there is a cultural mismatch here?

[PatriciaHolm]

It was a random off the cuff comment! Just one of those things. You don't even know exactly what was said.

[SoupDragon]

Complete over reaction.

[Furiosa]

He's obviously immature man

So what if he is? He wasn't inappropriate! Kids like adults that act immaturely, it makes them laugh.

Either way he wasn't immature or inappropriate. His only "crime" was talking to your daughter.

Let us know how your conversation with him goes.

[TimeForWhine]

I think, if his comments annoyed you, and then his other comments confused your daughter, then trust your instinct. He probably is a prick who likes to get one over on women. Making someone feel uncomfortable is not friendly banter. Its all about how it is said, not just what is said.

[ElsaAintAsColdAsMe]

It's just another way of saying hello.

I do it all the tume, if someones working in their garden, for example I'll sometimes say ' you can come and do my garden next' or 'no rest for the wicked' or some other innocuous thing. I don't really mean they have to sort my garden or that they are wicked, it's just a friendly greeting.

If you aren't careful you'll make your dd terrified of the world.

[Fozzleyplum]

OP, you sound very chippy to be frank I agree with the advice others have given; the man did nothing wrong. It seems that you objected to whatever it is he might have said because you or your daughter didn't "get" his sense of humour, or appreciate what sounds like harmless friendly banter.

You really will do your daughter no favours if you set her an example of flying off the handle every time anyone says something you think might have been odd. Resilience and the art of picking your arguments is an important life skill for adults and children.

[crystalgall]

I'm pretty sure if he has said hello how are you? Are you having a nice time playing? You would find that equally sinister and complain that he is a peado trying to groom your child or something.

[Jessbow]

I honestly think people are getting paranoid.
Sounds like a friendly chap to me, who is likely to get far better co-operation out of the playing children, by being friendly with them than being nasty.

If he needs to manouver his van/bus what ever it is, he wants them onside!

[titbumwillypoo]

what next?" Reporting him for whistling on a Tuesday"

[Wolfiefan]

He might be trying to be friendly but not have much experience of talking to kids. The "cheer up" comment is annoying.
He wasn't rude.
He wasn't inappropriate.
You want to report him because he spoke to you and your kid.
How you think he's "getting kicks" from this is beyond me.
You do actually sound unhinged.

[TheUnsullied]

She didn't like the comments, therefore making it unacceptable

You know this isn't how the world works, right? Someone not liking something doesn't automatically make it unacceptable.