Not coping with my 3 year old

[CantDoThisMummyBusinessAnymore]

Title says it all really. I'm feeling a real failure as a mum at the moment.

My DS is nearly 3 and can be a real joy to be with. But I feel like 90% of the time we are at loggerheads with each other and it keeps descending to me shouting at him.

I have a great Health Visitor (don't all faint! ) and she's been around and we've discussed techniques for dealing with him, time out, 3 strikes and he's out approach which works to a certain extent but he does things that are dangerous to himself and his siblings and I can't help but lose my temper with him.

I've made changes to his diet and there has been a slight improvement but he is still very manic all of the time. He rushes into everything at full speed and it is like watching a small whirlwind crash through the house.

There are certain situations that he can't cope with relating to changes, especially family members being in situations out of their own homes. He will freak completely if they aren't "where they belong" if that makes sense.

I am just so worn out with the whole thing and my previous sleep through the night 1 year old has taken to waking every night so I'm getting about 3 hours sleep each night and I don't know how much longer I can carry on doing this.

I'm scaring myself when I lose my temper so goodness knows what I'm doing to the kids

I don't get physical with him but I feel such a failure when I lose it like this.

Thanks for reading

Any advice would be welcome

Many sympathies.We have all had days like this,especially when you have a young baby as well.You ARE NOT a failure.

I have a 3 and 1 year old and it can be very tricky juggling their diverse needs,fitting in all the domestic drudgery,meals and so on.

I do find that I have to get outdoors every day,even if its just a ramble around the block,to maintain my sanity and tire ds out!!!

I f it is possible try to take some time out for yourself doing something you enjoy.

The sleep deprivation is awful.

Thanks wrinklytum

I understand completely what you're saying about the drudgery of domestic life on top of looking after 2 little ones

How did your oldest cope with the new baby? DS2 swings between loving her and fetching and carrying for her to tantrums if anyone even looks at her.

I missed out on this first time around as DS1 was 7 when I had ds2 and any jealousy he felt could be talked about. Not quite as easy with a 2 yr old!

Counting has been the key to my 3 year old boy's good behavior too. He has improved 5fold in the past 3 months.

I will say "Stop doing X. If you don't stop, I will count to three and then you will go on the naughty step. 1, 2, 3..." etc

This has worked so well he hasn't made it to the naughty step for about 6 weeks!

That's fab Colditz!

Will keep on counting

I've lost my edge somewhere along the line though, ds1 would jump at "1,..." DS2 holds out til the last second

lact8 so now i know your "real " name eh??? how many glasses of wine did you have????? glad that things are much better now... you do feel more human when you get some sleep dont you?????? its amazing after some sleep that your humour has regrown and come back
take care xxx

Hi hitchcock [sheepish grin following outing]

Glad to say I AM doing this Mummy business.

I know this is tempting fate, but things seem to have taken a turn for the better in the Lact8 household.

DS2 has been fab this past week. I'm really enjoying being with him.

I even managed to go to Ikea on Saturday afternoon (what was I thinking???It was mental there!!) and it was tantrum free. He was really well behaved even thought we were there for hours.

Thank you so much for your support when I was feeling like a failure, it really did help

Take care

Oh and it was Baileys. After a year long breastfeeding drought. And I was on me arse

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I has a phase like this recently with my 3 yr old and started to look forward to going to work to get away. just felt I didn't even like her some days. then all of a sudden after a few weeks she changed again and now we are all loved up again and i hate leaving her! I felt like an awful mum at the time. I think these phases sometimes arrive when they are about to make another developmental leap. eg my dd seems now to have developed a concience and feels genuinely sorry for things when she sees i'm upset. her reasoning has improved too. shes 3 yrs 11 mths now.

I'm going to keep this thread bumped Pruni, so next time it all goes downhill I can come back and remember that it is just a phase and it will get better again!

It's just so hard when each day feels like a battle between us and I wake up wondering what torment he has planned for me today

I know what you mean about parenting. My mum had 'The Look' and if she caught us in her gaze we would just stop and transform into lovely well behaved children. And it still works on me now - LOL!

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