Hate my MIL holding my baby

[KLG3101]

I hate myself for feeling like this. I hate my MIL touching and holding my baby. She's 6 weeks old. MIL is a lovely lady. She's old school and I know would treat our daughter with care and love. However I hate when she picks her up. She wants to take her for the day and I can't beat the thought. Am I a complete bitch??

I felt the same way op, the first visitor I had in hospital was my mil and fil and I was still in recovery after emcs so basically they got to hold him properly before I did.
I even hated sil holding him and bore a grudge at the amount of perfume she wore that left my son smelling like a tarts knicker drawer.
I'm glad to say it was my hormones and am glad of their help now, but don't do anything till your ready, you can't help the way you feel even if it seems unreasonable.

At this stage, I actually think what the mil wants is utterly irrelevant.

Indulging the new mother, making her feel secure and confident in her new and daunting role will pay enormous dividends to everyone. Including the mil.

This initial stage of wobbles, fears and anxieties over anything to do with a new baby will pass. It would be so much easier if the new mum's preferences were observed for the short term.

Unless the other relatives turn out to be nasty pieces of work that is. Then that's a different story.

I hate baby snatchers, they piss me off! I've had to say to mil before when she said 'come to nanna' that 'mummy's having cuddles at the moment'...other times I've just ignored her and sat down on the couch with my DD and pretended she's not there. And she's had the cheek to say, we'll make sure it's only 5 minutes because I want to hold. Again just ignored her.

How often do we see them? Unfortunately too often for my liking. They are a very close knit family, SIL, in law and my partner. Mil works like 8 hours a week and is a housewife the rest of the time, so every Wednesday she does a roast dinner to which my partner attends. But we have to go round every Sunday from 12 -3 and I hate it. Especially when im back at work because my weekends will be spent seeing my own mum on a Saturday and them on a Sunday. I wish I'd picked a bloke whose parents were not in the picture.

What outputgap said :)

Especially when im back at work because my weekends will be spent seeing my own mum on a Saturday and them on a Sunday. I wish I'd picked a bloke whose parents were not in the picture.

so it is ok for your family to spend time with your family but not your PIL?

Dontcare - my fil has his own business and is a self confessed workaholic. He works round the clock 6 days a week and has admitted that he can't stop. Therefore this leaves a small window for visits which is a Sunday. Saturday I will see my mum and dad which means no time for us as a family of 3 on weekends, unless we physically get up and go away somewhere for the weekend.

I could go longer than a week without seeing my own mum and dad, which would leave some Saturday's free, but why should DD see one set of grandparents more than the other when they both live within 5 miles of each other.

When you have a DH that lives up their parents bumhole it makes you cranky!

"Totally normal, mate. Every hormone in your body is screaming "that's my baby, give her to me"."

^ This

You are absolutely NOT being a bitch.

I had this feeling too.

Your MIL's comments about her other grandchildren are not nice and I can see how they colour your view of her.

No way would I let anyone take my baby away for a day at six weeks. Even DH wouldn't have been allowed! She may think she is being helpful. Tell her you appreciate your offer but DD needs to be be with you (and you with her) right now and maybe you can reconsider in six years months. The pressure her friends are putting her under to 'have the baby on her own' is utter nonsense and not your problem.

Keep DD with you. Try to get used to letting others have short cuddles but don't be afraid to ask for her back or tell people if you are not comfortable. Get your DH to support you on this. You are NOT being unreasonable. Oh, and ask him to explain to his mother that it would be appreciated if she texted to arrange visits rather than just turn up as it may not always be convenient.

I could go longer than a week without seeing my own mum and dad, which would leave some Saturday's free, but why should DD see one set of grandparents more than the other when they both live within 5 miles of each other.

But if you don't see the PIL on the Sunday and continue to see yours on a Saturday then your DP will see them more than PIL.

Maybe alternate. One week don't see your DP next week don't see PIL.

Do you know what? Don't see any of them for a while. Or see both sets of gps at the same time.