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Parenting

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Original poster

children should not be allowed out in public

31 replies

WeWishUAMerryXmasNANappyNewYr · 21/12/2006 02:14

see before i was pregnant i always moved out of prams/pushchairs way - let them get on/off bus first, held doors open etc.

i thought everyone did.

it is only now i realise i was in the minority.. our doctors and libraries both have doors which pull open. after much struggling of standing at side of pram, reaching over pulling door open, running back behind pram and pushing in before door shuts i managed to get in. and do you think anyone helped me on my way out?

also at the shopping centre, i don't know if i am wrong to think this, but it is much easier for someone to dodge a pram and continue walking in a straight line without much inconvenienve. however it is quite difficult to keep changing direction and manouevering a pram around various people who insist on walking directly at it!

it is like oh i've got a baby i should not go out with him until he can walk by himself!

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airy · 21/12/2006 04:39

It's a nightmare isn't it. My dd is disabled and now has a wheelchair and honestly people are no different with that than they ever were with the buggy
I actually thought when we got the chair, people might be a little bit more curtious now, but no. No-one helps if you're struggling to get through a door or move out of the way when you're walking down the street.
Everyone just seems to be so self absorbed, intent on going where they're going and screw anyone that gets in their way

snowfunwhenyoureknackered · 21/12/2006 07:19

actually I think older people are worse than young ones!

they regularly close doors in my face and never thank you when you hold it open for them

FioFio · 21/12/2006 07:22

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FestiveFrex · 21/12/2006 07:23

I think it might just be worse at this time of year when everyone has so much to do and so little time in which to do it.

I always hold doors for people, offer to help with buggies up and down stairs, etc. I know of many others who do too.

When I was out and about with mine in pushchairs/buggies, I used to say "thank you" very loudly whenever anyone failed to help when I obviously needed it. Didn't help at the time, but most people looked shame-faced and probably helped the next person in need.

FioFio · 21/12/2006 07:24

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maryhadaharpsichordyeahlord · 21/12/2006 07:27

thank god for the Disability Discrimination Act, because it was so much worse before in terms of wheelchair/buggy access.
I must say, though, that in the town where I live I am very often offered help, especially by young people but across the board really. It is not exactly a smart place to live (no Waitrose ) but it is a lovely community to live in

KTreePee · 21/12/2006 08:02

What I tend to do, if someone keeps walking directly towards me, is to stop. They then are forced to walk around me

HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 08:07

i don't often use a pushchair for the dcs but on the odd occasions I do am

its most strange

its common courtesy, surely?

gigglinggoblin · 21/12/2006 08:12

i have a similar policy to ktreepee, but i dont stop. they do move!

snig · 21/12/2006 08:12

definitely kpeetree just keep walking at them or stop still and make them walk round you. I also say very loudly "thanks very much" when people fail to help. Its not as if i go round town thinking i have right of way above everyone either its just nice to be nice and a little bit more considerate. In the town where i live there is this junk shop which consistantly has stuff out on the pavement which i have to kick out of the way in order to get my buggy round, (i don't know how people in wheelchairs manage). There is no way i'm stepping out on the road to avoid her crap i'd rather run over it than be run over and don't even get me started on cars that park on pavements ggrrrrrrrr!

kiskidee · 21/12/2006 08:32

have you tried smiling sweetly but firmly asking one of the bodies who is studiously ignoring your plight to help you get through doors?

moondog · 21/12/2006 08:36

Well,after living in Russia and tURKEY WHERE THE CONCEPT OF PRAM/WHEElChair access is non existent,I must say that Britain is a breeze.

It is an absolute trial to go out with kids in these places.
Most of them seem to spend years in flats with their grandmothers and hardly go out at all!

airy · 21/12/2006 08:43

I was out yesterday with dd in her wheelchair, we went into pizza hut and the people in front of us walking in let go of the door just as I was pushing dd through, and they HAD seen her
It's so infuriating, was most satisfying when we got through the door though, they were stood there waiting to be seated and me and my mum stood behind bitching loudly about ignorant rude people that swing doors back on kids in wheelchairs, they were very embarrassed when everyone started looking at them

Stupid people.

pantomimEdam · 21/12/2006 08:46

I know this is slightly different, but I was standing on a packed bus yesterday when a man using a walking frame got on. No-one got up, not even the able-bodied woman in the priority seat. I would have given her a steely look but she was yapping away on her mobile not looking in my direction. She can't have missed the disabled elderly man though he was right in front of her. Bitch. Was comtemplating saying something but he got a seat at the next stop.

Mumtimes2 · 21/12/2006 09:20

When I had DD1 five years ago I was shocked at how rude ad unhelpful people could be, especially when they can see you struggling. I got to the point where I would just point the buggy and go. If anyone got in my way, they ended up with severely bruised ankles.

On the other hand, I also came across some really polite, nice people, who would offer to open doors, up steps etc...I was always very grateful and always thanked them profusely.

Re: swing doors. I found the best way to handle them was to go through the backwards. If anyone is on the other side of the door, they have to hold it for you, because they can't get out until you are through. Although in my case that's probably b/c I have a massive @rse.

Also, the other day my DH and I spotted a mother and daughter struggling tolift a v. heavy XMAs tree into their car. Without even thinking about it my DH just trotted over there and offered to help. This was gratefully received, took no time at all and demonstrated courtesy to my children. Good deeds do no harm at all do they?

clairemow · 21/12/2006 09:29

walking by himself is still no guarantee of an easy trip out...!!!! My Ds (2 1/2) regularly gets evil looks from people who think he shouldn't run about/cross the shopping mall in front of them etc. etc.

morningpaper · 21/12/2006 09:37

This is SO annoying

Especially the heavy doors

It is v. frustrating as I have a slipped disc so am often in A LOT of pain but people can't "see" that. Not being able to turn or bend and trying to get a toddler and baby and pram through a heavy door is SO difficult, sometimes I just want to sit down and cry with the effort!

Pinotmum · 21/12/2006 09:45

When ds was a few weeks old I was out shopping with him and his sister (2 yo). The heavens opened and with him in my arms (he wouldn't stop crying) and her in the buggy I rushed towards M&S with the aim of feeding him. A middle aged woman held the door for me and I mumbled thanks - she didn't hear and proceeded to tongue lash me on my rudeness Another woman said she had heard me say thanks but still I was reprimanded. Lack of sleep and whingey babies made me give her back as good as she was giving me and she slinked off. Very cathartic (sp?) .

StrawberrySnowflakes · 21/12/2006 10:03

i got so sick of it and as my dd's pram was like(some guys comment the first day i took her out in it)..the four by four of prams, i decided to do what they did and walk in straight line(dd was well encased in protective sides etc)in saying that as the wheels were so big and off road, many people screamed before the seating part actually got close to them..then a oooh i am sooo sorry, with a wry grin helped me through my day

Original poster

WeWishUAMerryXmasNANappyNewYr · 21/12/2006 18:09

mines a musty .. this is why i find it difficult to consistently change what direction i am going in to the mood of the person coming towards me! i usually just slow down so they have walked past by the time i get there but then there is always someone else in the way. sometimes i hate shopping. have a sling, but then i have no where to put the shopping and carrying him in the sling plus lots of shopping is no easier than taking him out in the pram! i would stop but then loads of people would probably end up bumping in to me!i can't belive people say dd should get out and walk fio - that's horrendous! i don't know what her condition is but i still think that is a very cruel insensitive and just plain stupid thing to say!

OP posts:

lanismum · 21/12/2006 19:19

i feel your pain........have been to oxford street today (stupid i know) with a buggy, sadly not my huge mutsy or mountain buggy, but a flimsy maclaren, and its as if people dont actually see anything below their eye level, i had to put my arm across the back of 1 woman who was about to fall on dd, and the lifts in all the shops were full of people without buggies/wheelchairs, leaving me, at 6 months pregnant to bump a heavy pram up and down the stairs, or wait roughly 3 days for the lift to come back, and the worst thing is, i have to go back tomorrow but i think ill take one of the bigger prams and just be as rude as everybody else

JustUsTwoTurtleDoves · 21/12/2006 19:21

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Indith · 21/12/2006 19:30

Oooh I dunno JUTTD wonderful as the folk of Durham are yesterday it was a case of woman with pram running people over...actually rammed into our heels from behind BEFORE saying excuse me! Strangly enough I do move out of the way for prams but can't see them when they are behind me!

I also keep getting people trying to walk right into me. Possibly my fault for walking home home after dark when I live right in the cntre and between a load of pubs but I'm 39 weeks pg ffs the bump is pretty obvious!

Indith · 21/12/2006 19:32

Oh and Moondog so true about Russia! This time last year I was still living there and while it is very cool to be able to be able to ice skate down the street it must be a nightmare for mums!

MKGnearlyimmaculateconception · 21/12/2006 19:38

I am going to write in defense of all the nice people that I have encountered. My ds is now 16 months, and I have always being offered help while opening doors. People move out of the way in stores. And cars stop to let me cross the street.

Don't give up on how nice others can be.

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