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Original poster

People think my baby is white.

70 replies

Sazzysez123 · 05/12/2015 10:52

My little girl (11 days) is part white part African American, but everyone comments on how pale she is and it's really fustrating as they say (from the HV) 'oh she doesn't have any of her dad's colourings does she?' Has anyone else had this happen to them?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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theshitestuff · 05/12/2015 11:22

Gorgeous baby!

I think if people were that rude, I'd whisper 'But she isn't his! Don't tell him!' then wink and walk off.

SecretBondGirl · 05/12/2015 11:25

My friend is Asian and her Dh is white, her dcs are pale skinned but do look dual heritage I dislike the terms mixed race and especially half caste. When they moved to New York a couple of years ago she was constantly mistaken for the dcs' nanny

JustAnotherYellowBelly · 05/12/2015 11:26

MIL always tells the story of how her (1/4 black, 3/4 dark Asian) kids were so fair they got comments at the hospital.
They're now all dark but they were still pretty white until about 6 months.
Don't worry about it, she'll look like both of you as time passes

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StrawberryTeaLeaf · 05/12/2015 11:31

It's early days OP

Congratulations

TaintForTheLikesOfWe · 05/12/2015 11:34

What a beautiful baby OP. Scrummy!

TheCraicDealer · 05/12/2015 11:36

Babies and young children don't have much melanin, the stuff that determines hair, skin and eye colour. That's why plenty of blue eyed, blonde babies turn out to have dark brown hair and hazelly eyes as adults. Don't worry about it and enjoy your beautiful baby

motherinferior · 05/12/2015 11:39

That is just the beginning. Tighten your sit belt, it's going to be a very long ride. Oh yes...

OP, my mother is Indian, my father is white and I have red hair and pale skin. Your lovely baby may darken, she may not: after 52 years I've rather given up hope of doing so myself! My partner is also Anglo/Asian, and has dark skin: our two lovely girls are quite fair-skinned with fairish hair.

Genetics is weird. Your baby is gorgeous. The world's more mixedup now than it ever has been. Enjoy your lovely child. She's adorable.

motherinferior · 05/12/2015 11:41

Dont let people who have a silly 'two paints mixed together' view bother you.

And this too. They're talking rubbish. I'm proud of my Indian heritage and I love it, however many idiotic comments (from both sides) I get.

BrandNewAndImproved · 05/12/2015 11:41

It can take a couple of years for skin colour to develop and then as an adult she could lose her colour.

Has she got a ring of colour on the skin around her fingernails?

My dds mixed race, didn't start to look it until about a year old and her hair went from black with a slight curl to afro.

P1nkP0ppy · 05/12/2015 11:43

She's gorgeous, who gives a toss if she's not conforming to the ignoramuses ideas!

irie · 05/12/2015 11:44

She's gorgeous regardless of race. My son is mixed and the HV thought he was jaundiced, my mum says he looks like he's spent a week on a beach but to be honest his colour is different in different lights. Who cares

Themodernuriahheep · 05/12/2015 11:45

She's gorgeous and what lovely long legs, lucky girl.

She may well change, she may not. I was black haired for three months, then fair, then dark brown, skin went from pale to sallow/honey.

SparklyTinselTits · 05/12/2015 11:47

I get it all the time. I'm white, DH is half Asian, half white....and for some reason, DD looks almost completely Asian! People think she's not ours, or ask about the adoption process

TastingTheRainbow · 05/12/2015 11:47

She's beautiful! Ignore the ignorant comments.

She is clearly darker skinned than you so some of dads colour is being expressed. She may or may not get darker (I was told to look at the colour on their ears) but does it really matter, she's perfect either way.

VenusRising · 05/12/2015 11:56

Oh congratulations!
Your baby is so beautiful! she is just gorgeous! She's very alert isn't she? Well done!

Babies go darker with time, and their hair can change colour completely.
Most babies are born with slate blue eyes and they develop into their colour by about two years.

And people have something to say about everything. If it isn't your baby, it's how your figure has changed, or how you parent etc, etc.
It's open season once you are pregnant, so hard hat on, and push on, ignoring everything!

ChoclolateOrange · 05/12/2015 11:59

OP, I'm white and my children's father is white and I also got very upset when they were babies with people's comments on their appearance eg. Ex MIL, on first seeing DS1, "oh, he looks just like your father" in a very disappointed tone.

They are now adults and people STILL feel the need to comment on their appearance. My youngest who is 19 and has no contact with his father hears that he looks like him all the time. It upsets him. People are unbelievably thoughtless. "Oh, doesn't he look like his father?" Who thinks it is ok to comment on an adults appearance in the third person?

I started saying "he/she looks like their own lovely selves." Not very clever but it does shut them up as they think about what you've said!

azerty · 05/12/2015 12:00

Cute! Definitely looks mixed to me. Very similar to mine at this age who are now unquestionably mixed looking (compete with big afros).

scarednoob · 05/12/2015 12:00

My friend is black and his partner is blonde and blue eyed. When they put pics of the baby on fb, he was fairer than his mum - you'd never have guessed he was mixed race.

He's 8 months old now and the darker colouring has really come through; he is the most beautiful little boy I've ever seen. So your DD change as she gets older.

But who cares if she's black, white or sky blue pink with yellow dots on - she's absolutely gorgeous! Dumb comments are dumb; try not to let them get to you and just give your baby a squeeze. Congratulations!

ClashCityRocker · 05/12/2015 12:05

That's a gorgeous baby, and I'm normally one of those people who think newborns look like mini Norman Wisdoms.

My best friend, who was born to both white parents looks very Mediterranean to the point where she was convinced she was adopted. Her mum is fair and her dad is ginger. Two of her kids are the spit of her granddad though.

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 05/12/2015 12:08

DH is white, I'm mixed but pretty dark skin with black curly hair and brown eyes.

Both my boys popped out with curly blond hair and blue eyes! Unbelievable shock in the delivery room, I really wasn't expecting it.

One of them has darker hair now, he's 8. The other still has bright blond curls and both are very pale skinned. Both blue eyed.

Genetics are funny things.

lostoldlogin2 · 05/12/2015 12:13

It just takes a bit of time for the melanin to come in. She will get darker for sure. Not that it matters either way.

motherinferior · 05/12/2015 12:22

No, not everyone darkens with time. Or perhaps it takes longer than 52 years.

LumelaMme · 05/12/2015 13:03

There have been generations (centuries...) of mixing on my father's side of the family (European/Asian) and you would not believe what the genetic lottery can produce: from very dark skinned, brown eyed and black haired to pale, blue eyed and auburn-haired. It's a topic of ongoing interest and fairer-skinned mothers get accused by strangers of allowing their tiny children to get tans...

Your baby will probably get darker as she gets older (but she might not...) Just enjoy her for who she is - she is gorgeous!

to mother (I NCed, but we did message once on this subject).

Junoandthepeacock · 05/12/2015 13:09

Also - just to add to the 'unwanted comments' lol - your dd has very long feet so will probably be very tall! I'd sign her up to a modelling agency now haha.

firesidechat · 05/12/2015 13:31

Isn't this just the normal conversation people have about babies? My daughter's eldest is the spitting image of her, but the youngest looks like his father. As a family we do comment on their different features and how they change over time, as babies tend to. It's not meant negatively and I'm sure the hv didn't mean it to be anything other than a casual comment.

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