how often do you bath your dc?

[buddhasbelly]

My dd is 20months old. I'm a single working parent (part time working 3 days a week) and on the days where I'm working I go to the gym after work whilst dd is looked after by my parents.

On these days, by the time we get home and I look at the housework still to be done I just have no energy to do bath time and just make sure dd is relatively clean looking, milk, teeth and then bed.

My dm thinks this is rather terrible and I'm putting dd out of her routine never mind that I am shattered

DD doesn't see her dad - he's not interested, so my respite time is my gym nights so pretty much just put myself first for that hour. Will not bathing her really be so terrible as my dm thinks?

unlikely if it makes you feel better we just can't be arsed.
Why can't you wrap your head around other people being more tired and busy than you though?

You have four days off a week, you have parents who help, and you have one child - and enough energy to go to the gym

That's 'said' kindly, not sharply, but I do think being clear about what you want will help in this situation. 'Mum, she's fine as she is. Leave it!' is better than being 'exhausted', which looks a little like making excuses.

Then I'd expect a bit more understanding, that's all.

Seeyounearertime - I think adults and older children need to be showered or bathed every day regardless of activity levels. But that's a whole other thread

Gosh- every night and hair washed too. By the time the eldest has played/painted/climbed and the youngest has filled a few nappies they both need it!

I do understand, but I also lose patience with hyperbole.

'guys guys....'

(sorry, this is dd2's favourite thing to say when there is any arguing in our house!)

it isn't a competition - everyone is just trying to do their best, in whatever circumstance.

I think I'd pass out if i had to bathe my two dc every night!
The energy, time and noise would do my head in...especially after a long day.

My dc are 7 and 4 they have a shower or bath on a Sunday and a Wednesday.

You're doing a great job op

But I am exhausted, why is it not ok for me to say that? I go to the gym for my mental health, a lot of the time I'm bloody knackered to do it but my thinking is if my mental well being is in order, then I'm in a better position to care for my dd than if I skip the gym to make sure she's clean. I'd be exhausted with or without gym as dd is a terrible sleeper.

Just by saying that something is said kindly doesn't make it so.

You have no idea of the OP's situation though! If she says she's exhausted I believe her! God, I was exhausted when I had a 20 month old and I actually had help from twat exH at the time. Now that I'm a LP to a 7yo and 5yo I cut corners all the time because I'm exhausted (and can't be arsed) and beat myself up enough about it... I don't need strangers on the internet to do it for me.

OP, well done for finding the time to go to the gym. It's important to find some time for yourself where you can.

thank you lucybabs

OP sounds like you are dong a really good job of keeping everything balanced and going. Feeling good about yourself is essential to raising a well adjusted DD. Mothers so seldom take any real time for themselves. You are a great example.
You are bathing your daughter enough. I'm not sure when the 'you have to bathe daily' idea took hold, but humans have been just fine on far fewer baths for thousands of years. 4 x a week is plenty for a 3 year old.
I ran into many things my mother did differently and here's the key...listen with proper interest and then do what's best for you. She had the time. You don't. Distract her with hugs and say things like 'I love how you help me and it makes all the difference in the world!' written by a women whose grown children are masters at changing the subject

thank you unicorn

Mintyy

It's actually bad for you to wash your whole body on a daily basis. elitedaily.com/women/in-defense-of-not-showering/915527/
But that too is a different thread.

just spray my pants with febreeze

Oh really. It's "bad" for you huh?

I thought washing them every day was bad for their skin?

OP unless they are really filthy, you don't need to bath/ shower them every day. Brush teeth and use a flannel to wipe face/hands and put them to bed as a bare minimum every day. Bath/ shower 2 or 3 times a week.

Sounds like you have your priorities right.

Well, bad for your hair, skin, etc etc.
It's probably not life threatening TBF.

Never done daily baths, such a stressful faff with mine. I aim for two or three times a week. What's with daily baths? Agree totally unnecessary.

It's not bad for skin etc to bath daily - some people find their skin feels better/ eczema improves bathing less, but daily bathing (with emollient) is recommended by GOSH for eczema, it has certainly helped dd2.

On the other hand there isn't some intrinsic virtue in bathing daily......

I am so firmly on the fence I am wearing it like a thong

5 or 6 times per week. It's part of their bedtime routine and they love it. DS2 (2) will prance around the bath naked while it's filling up, desperate to get in. I have boys though so the hair wash/dry is no bother at all.

Why all the crap about whether the op is exhausted or just wants more time to do housework? What difference does it make? The point is she's got a lot on and wants to make life a bit easier 3 days a week! Jeez!

Honestly op, 4 baths a week is plenty

Every other day in our house unless they're filthy. Could your mum not bath your dd for you so she's ready for bed when you pick her up? Also I sometimes bath them in the morning if I've not had time at night.
As long as she can settle off to sleep without a bath then I don't see the problem with a quick wizz over the hands and face with a flannel. Be kind to to yourself it's tough being a mum

It is bad for my DCs skin - gets so dry!

I have a toddler and baby and normally they get a bath once per week. I used to bath DC1 every day and the poor thing was struggling with ezcema until our GP told us to stop, that kids do not need to be washed that often. His skin is now totally healthy, and DC2, who was not washed every day, doesn't have any issues.

Of course, in the summer when he gets sweaty, or has been playing in the mud, he gets washed as needed. And yes DH and myself shower at least once per day. But little children don't have their apocrine sweat glands activated yet and nothing bad will happen if you just wash hands/face/whatever other bodypart is filthy.

Mine are 7 months and 2. I scrub 'em down every night because they're manky. Food, snot, grime, paint...blugh.

Who cares how often they're bathed as long as they're sanitary!