how often do you bath your dc?

[buddhasbelly]

My dd is 20months old. I'm a single working parent (part time working 3 days a week) and on the days where I'm working I go to the gym after work whilst dd is looked after by my parents.

On these days, by the time we get home and I look at the housework still to be done I just have no energy to do bath time and just make sure dd is relatively clean looking, milk, teeth and then bed.

My dm thinks this is rather terrible and I'm putting dd out of her routine never mind that I am shattered

DD doesn't see her dad - he's not interested, so my respite time is my gym nights so pretty much just put myself first for that hour. Will not bathing her really be so terrible as my dm thinks?

If your mum is that worried about it could she not bath dd those nights?
FWIW I don't bath my ds2 every night, maybe every second night. Ds1 is 8 now and needs a shower/bath every night

Older two every two or three days, 20 month old every week if I remember!

Gym with a creche? Is that a new idea then??

Your parents sound like absolute stars, unlike your ex-P. I hope you really do appreciate their part in her upbringing.

I have three under 3 and do dinner:bath/bed alone 5 nights out of 7. DTs get a bath every night. I might take a night off once a fortnight or so if we are out very late or they are too tired and j think it'll push them over the edge. Basically if I didn't do it every night, I'd only wash them once a month!!

Baby gets a bath once a week or so.

Hair is a different story - once a week max.

No it's not a new idea mintyy but not something offered in my geographical area ...

Yes I do appreciate their part; I don't appreciate someone trying to liken their 2 parent situation to that of mine as a single parent because my dfather "worked late" when I was a child

I also don't have the energy to bathe him every night. 16 months old. Usually every 3rd night.

Well, it's not an uncommon comparison.

But they are being very helpful, so I'd let it go.

Why does bathing them take so much energy?

Yes of course single parents have it much harder than two parents working as a team.

I just wonder why you can't go to the gym on your days when you don't work, or once a twice a week on those days, and thus avoid the problem of not really seeing your dd in the evenings? There must be gyms near you who have a creche for daytime gym sessions?

the time I am with her getting her in the bath and watching her is the time I can use on my work nights to get the house in order. If I don't do it then it doesn't get done and having her in the bath for 20 mins/ dried etc is the time I could use to getting the kitchen in order before putting her to bed, meaning that my time until I can sit down and unwind is stretched even longer putting a drain on my energy even more.

Unlikelypilgramage it's not necessarily energy, it's the time. By the time you've picked them up, got.home from work, washed the breakfast dishes, cooked dinner and washed those dishes, done enough play/reading/vaguely engaged with your DC so you don't feel guilty, AND you want them to go to bed at a decent time because they have to be up early to go to the childminder/nursery the next day... Bathtime is often the easiest thing to skip.

What do you need to do on your work nights if your dd has been at your parents all day (genuine question). Do they feed her?

I'm not seeing it unicorn - a quick bath or shower doesn't take bundles of energy!

No Mintyy as I said this is not a service that is offered at all in my area, the nearest one is approx. 100 miles away.

I would have no one to look after her on my days off as my parents both work so I have to go early evening (5pm) - I go on my work days as it is on the route home from work/nursery and near to my parents and I don't drive (my dfather and me work at the same place and car share) so logistically is a lot easier to go on work days rather than walking my dd to my parents at 5pm when now dark, she gets picked up on our car sharing route after work.

Mine have a bath/shower everyday but neither of them are tidy eaters and since starting school they come home filthy. I also don't think they wipe particularly well at school so like to give them a proper wash.

I would drop your DD off at your parents with her PJs and pick her up all clean and ready for bed!

Yes they feed her but I have breakfast stuff to clear up (leave for work v early), washing to hang up/put away and do 1 daily chore to keep on top of things, if I left it all to my days off, I would spend most of the time cleaning rather than interacting with dd.

Yes unicorn you have said it better than me, it is time rather than energy that I mean.

It takes about 20 minutes... Time the OP could be spending on housework etc so that she doesn't have to do it once her DD is in bed. And she doesn't need to be made to feel guilty about that! Plus a bath 4 days out of 7 is perfectly fine!

I'm not trying to make anyone feel guilty, but I do lose a wee bit of patience with the 'exhausted' card.

If what you mean is 'I don't want to, because I have other things I'd rather be doing', say it.

Depends what my DD has been doing.
She's 2.5, if she's been playing in the park or making mud pies or painting etc, a bath follows. If she's been playing tea parties in her room watching Peppa then she's fine.
I'm the same, I shower when needed, not because of some schedule I have to keep too.

Bath every night here. It's part of the daily routine.

a "quick" bath (as I said I don't have a shower) currently takes 10 minutes to run (water pressure crap) whilst getting pj's out and milk warmed (she's sleepy right after bath so tend to do milk/story straight after), getting dd undressed then play in bath for 15 minutes, dried pjs on. It's between 20-30 minutes all in which is a lot of time in my life for getting the house back in order. As I said my wording was perhaps wrong, it is the time that could be used elsewhere to help me keep on top of things.

UnlikelyPilgramage are you a single parent? If not I don't think you are in any way qualified to comment on how 'exhausted' the OP is or is not.

I certainly am a single parent. Am I 'qualified' to comment?

I feel much better after a bath / wash each day and I feel that my DC would too before bed. If pushed for time or it's really late, I will run a quick bath while doing something else (zero time lost), undress child (which you have to do anyway to change into pyjamas) and put child in the bath for a quick wash, which need only take 5 minutes.

unlikely I haven't had a decent night's sleep in months. I am exhausted. I don't have anyone else that gets up to dd in the night. I don't know your situation but after months of not getting a night's sleep I can well and truly say I am exhausted. Housework is not what I'd rather be doing but is a necessity that without, our lives would become rather chaotic.