Aah, that's good, glad you are in a happy house.
I sometimes (though rarely these days, since reading Steve Biddulph's book about raising happy children) am horrible to ds. It starts with me trying to lay down the law, but even for 3 he is very immature and really doesn't understand what I'm trying to tell him sometimes, and it just upsets me and makes him withdraw into himself when I repeat what I consider to be a really simple concept 20 times. I get way beyond reason, and just become a vicious automaton, saying it over and over again because a tiny part of me (stupidly) believes that eventually he will 'get it' and of course all that happens is that we both become unhappy. Have only done this 2 or 3 times max, but the recovery was dreadful each time.
I think that the root of the problem is that, to my shame, I thought I would get a really bright child (dh is v clever and I'm not too bad) and I just have to accept that, for the moment at least, he will just have to get things done at his own pace and I must let him be. I love him tons, but sometimes lose sight of the fact that he doesn't have to be like the other kids, he can be happy just being himself if I teach him that what he already is is great.