Anyone on here who has 'repaired' a damaged relationship with one of their dc? (Sorry very long post)

[Pitchounette]

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Good advice Pitchounette.

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Thought you'd like to know that your advice stopped a 'thing' escalating into a 'situation' for me and ds today. We were at our local museum and they have lots of toys there. I started to do a jigsaw, ds got very upset, wanted me to stop doing the jigsaw. I asked him why but of course he doesn't know why, he's an inarticulate 3yo i.e. it was simply childish behaviour, as you say. So I just stopped doing the jigsaw. No harm done, we played with other things, he didn't get upset, I didn't get frustrated, THE END

Pitchounette - your post reminds me a little of my situation. When dd1 was born, I bonded with her immediately. When DD2 was born 18 months later, I also bonded with her immediately. But then something strange and unexpected happened - my bond with dd1 'broke'. It took me about six months to realise this, I had mild PND, but gosh those six months were awful. I was sure my dd1 was the child from hell. I looked at her and couldn't see my child, I just saw 'a' child, and I couldn't feel any love for her.

When I realised what the problem was, that I felt as if I had no bond with her, I could start doing something to repair our relationship, by positive parenting as you've described. Things are far better now almost a year later and I have two angelic daughters, whom I love equally. I realise that my bond with her wasn't broken, just invisible, hidden by PND. I am very fortunate that my PND wasn't serious and with help from family and friends I reovered quite quickly.

Things are so much better now, and I'm glad they are for you too.

Great post belgo, so pleased to hear of your 'mend'.

Lio - it's incrdible how my dd1 picked up on my feelings about her, and her behaviour was dreadful for that time. Literally overnight my feelings towards her changed from her being my darling baby, to being a child that I couldn't recognise and couldn't identify with, and of course her behaviour reflected this. I thought the problem was with her, but it was with myself.

I've heard of PND effecting a mother's ability to bond with her newborn, but I never expected it to effect how I felt towards my older child. It's a feeling I never want to feel again, and I still feel guilty about the way I thought about her.

Was never as mean to ds as I have been since dd was born. Maybe we are just normal? Wish someone had told me sooner that I should look for witch-like tendencies. Still, we got there in the end

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