What does good attachment look like?

[nephrofox]

I keep hearing and reading about how important good attachment in the early years is, but how do you know if you've got it right? And how do you promote it?!

I have a 2.5yo and a 6 month old. I care for them and (I think) meet all their needs. I have never left them to cry, altho can have a quite 'no nonsense' style with toddler tantrums. Obviously I've had to get used to splitting my time when the baby arrived.

So why can't I shake off the idea that they're not going to grow up "well attached" or whatever that means?

Oh, and the research I was involved with found that even the mothers with PND (generally fairly mild but bad enough that they sought/accepted some support) had securely attached 1 year olds

As everyone says about early years and attachment, plus i would say as they get older, and maybe more demanding, have more of an opinion, it's about about showing them that you are there, youre listen, you care, you're responding well to them, i.e. you are not scared by their noisy tantrums or disagreement with you.
Being loving and consistent always, esp when you're tired or busy make the time to see how they are doing, be interested and actively part of their lives, and be sweet to your kids. Hear from them and know what they need from you. This is part of teaching them to be healthy. As they learn this from you they get to do this, practice this with others. Down the line their own relationships will be healthier too.