Neighbour neglectful? Or overreacting?

[Anon19]

Over reacting?

So today I came home with kids and they wanted to play in the garden & next doors pram was in the garden, I was in the garden for about 2 hours playing with my son and his cousins then next door comes out & lifts her 7 month old baby out of the pram just wearing pjamas, and a really thin blanket I know it's thin coz we have the same one. Bassicly the baby had been napping in her pram in the garden for at least 2 hours in the freezing cold (all our kids had snowsuits on with boots hats gloves and loads of layers!!) with their back door shut she never came out to check on her once!! I can't believe it I really can't am I over reacting here? Should I say anything to her im fuming the babys tiny I was freezing never mind her :-/ I don't know her well by the way it's a new estate and everyone just moved in a few weeks ago so I've never spoken to her.

The 7 year old comment must have been a typing mistake? That poster must have meant 7 month old surely?

I'm really shocked at the number of people that would leave their baby to sleep outside and they'd be in the house!

Yeah, garden monsters might get it

But yeah who would leave their 7 month old baby outside?

Are you serious? admittedly a dying practise but this used to be a pretty common thing for all babies. I believe it is still done to a large extent in the netherlands. My babies were both parked in the garden for as long as they slept to get a good dose of fresh air every day.

Wow! I'm really shocked that people have never heard of leaving their babies out in the garden to sleep! Does nobody do this anymore?

I knew netherlands was wrong! I meant scandinavia. I always mix those up

My son is NOT a sleeper it makes me giggle to even think he's a 'sleeper'

Maybe he would be if he had some fresh air and peace out in the garden.

I was born in the 70s and my mum was told babies should nap outside everyday except in fog. I believe they worried about fog causing the air to be too damp.
A baby is of far greater risk of overheating than of being harmed by being cold. I would also expect a baby that was too cold to wake and cry.

yup my mum put all 6 of us outside for sleeping, there were 6 of us so it was a busy house so it helped for quiet but also she knew fresh air was good, that babies can overheat - they can get cold too but once past a few weeks I think it is they self regulate temp so if cold wake and cry. Its different if premmie as they lack certain skills for longer often. It is healthy - we do mollycoddle I mean houses often didn't have central heating into the 80s - outside was healthier than in with coal fires as well. Mum was a trained nurse and worked with preemie babies.

There is nothing wrong with babies being outside in a pram in your own closed garden, or so only neighbours you know can see etc. We are generally overprotective and over pampered these days. They do need to be warm - but prams are sheltering, at 7 mths I would think it was a lying down pram, so the thin cover may have come out with baby but others may have stayed behind. 2 hrs is about right for a nap.

I was in Norway recently and walking to work saw many prams outside with babies in, although these were behind a high fence near a baby & Mum meeting place. Its still traditional although the fear demonstrated by other European countries is starting to filter through and its apparently not as common as it used to be to see them outside coffee shops.

Should say my neighbour (here in uk) did something similar recently and she discovered an app that allowed her to create a baby alarm somehow and video of her baby in car asleep so she knew as soon as he was awake and came out to get him (think she used phone and house wifi to effectively communicate with her computer in house)

We are rural and down a hidden private road tho

As someone whose baby overheated and had a febrile convulsion, I err on the side of keeping babies cold... Nothing terrible will happen if they're a bit chilly. A febrile convulsion is bloody scary though.

I would sit by the back door and watch my baby sleeping in a buggy outside. I wouldn't just go inside and get on with stuff. But that's my parenting choice. I might inwardly tut at others' choices but I wouldn't think this one was neglectful.

Oh yes I've been known to walk the buggy round the garden just to get ds to sleep, then park him outside the back door (open) while I get on with the washing etc. He just wouldn't nap in his cot, so I didn't have any alternative. I never thought anything of it. Definitely never thought I'd be judged for it. The only risk was that the next door neighbour might start up the lawnmower and wake him up

Wasn't it common for most babies to sleep in prams in the garden "back in the day"?

I think this is still commonplace in Scandanavia as I read an article on it and they put babies out in all temperatures (wrapped up of course!).

It wasn't that cold today and the sleepsuit could have been one of those wadded types which are very warm. I agree that if the baby was uncomfortable it would have cried.

Have I just stepped into the twilight zone here?? What danger is a contained baby facing in their own garden? This is a genuine question btw. Why was I indulging in risky behaviour leaving my baby to sleep in the garden?

How old are you OP? Are you very young? Some if the assumptions you are making are truely odd.
Letting babies sleep in their prams in the fresh air has been fond fur generations. A bit less so now.
Your conjecture about the mothers wanting a quiet life rather than apparently 'caring ' for their babies, I find very offensive?

Has OP disappeared?
Is this a troll thread?

I'm actually going to try this tomorrow if the weather is dry. DS isn't a good sleeper but maybe a bit of fresh air will help. His Pram is VERY warm so he will be nice and cosy with a vest, sleepsuit and sleeping bag thing. I have an enclosed rear garden so can park him outside the back door and can see him from the kitchen and dining room windows.

I've left my baby in her pram/pushchair out in the garden many times to nap, so long as she's warm enough and dry etc. I never stray far, and can always hear her. She sleeps really well outside.

I'd be worried if the OP neighbor couldn't hear her baby though, and personally I'd be paranoid about shared spaces if I wasn't in eyesight.

I wonder if it would also be neglectful to take baby for a walk in the park in their pushchair for a couple of hours while baby slept?
Is there a difference between going for a walk and leaving the pram in the garden?
Assuming there are no tigers in the garden, then it's pretty safe!
And there is no way a neighbour peering over the fence could have judged how warm baby was. I'm sure it would have soon complained if it was cold.

Forgot to say, it depends so much on context - communal garden in rough block of flats / dodgy area that wast very well enclosed and you couldn't see the baby then that would be neglectful. Garden of a house in a nice village or a suburban area with nice neighbours no problem. Personally I would want to check more frequently than 2 hours though, just as I'd routinely check temperature every so often when out shopping with the baby.

"I wasn't sure, so I had a good look" (OP talking about checking babies blanket situation.)
Regarding this specific situation, It is not very reassuring that the OP who was a relative stranger to the mother was able to get close enough to the pram to look inside, presumably without the mother noticing? If you're in a situation where a semi-stranger could walk up to the pram without you noticing then that isn't good! Or indeed if you don't mind a relative stranger checking on your baby!

Needanadulttotalkto the OP is not a relative stranger walking past in the street - she is her next door neighbour peering over the garden fence. The mother didn't need to notice. Someone looking in a pram is not a danger to them. The mother was probably in a very good position to see the pram through the window.

OddlyLogical
Ah, I did somehow miss the part about her needing to peer over the fence to see rather than wander over to the buggy, which does make it seem less bad.

Depends how well you know the neighbor! If my neighbours peered over my fence I would not be happy.

And as I said above, it totally depends on what the neighbourhood is like.

I'm about to be so Un PC here!

There is a type of parent. Generally educated to the minimum required age, low level employed and regard the DM as the gospel truth. This type of parent has very little grasp of risk. So they would be profoundly disturbed by a baby sleeping outside. Despite the baby not crying, despite the weather being moderate for this type of year, despite how commonplace this method is in other parts of the world, despite the absence of any horror stories whatsoever of a sleeping baby being taken from a garden in the UK, will nonetheless still believe it is highly risky behaviour. Just because. In the same vein, they will wrap there children up in snow suits and blankets because in their eyes, this is good parenting.

Whereas with regard to the important elements of parenting, they give little to no thought. Screaming arguments in front of the child? No big deal. Never reading to them? No big deal? Feeding them crap? No big deal. Failing to teach them manners and how to present themselves appropriately. Not a chance.

Sorry for the rant, but it's just my observation that those slightly lacking intellectually have no grasp of risk and get them leaves in a twist about things whilst utterly failing to see the much bigger picture.

I wonder if its as simple as those parents having some inbuilt notion that inside= safe, outside= not safe?