Do you think its possible for a child to get too much fresh air and exercise?

[newnamesamegame]

Would really appreciate a neutral point of view on this because ex and I clash over this regularly and its hard for me to separate my objections to him and his behaviour from any rational or sensible points and look at this objectively.

I was basically brought up to believe and continue to believe, generally that the more time children spend outdoors running around and exercising the better and that time spent in the park/playground is worth more than time watching TV or at home. Its possible I overdo this sometimes, but I stand by this.

Ex comes from a country where the culture is that a lot of emphasis is put on kids needing to spend time in the home and his relatives question why I need to take my DD out as much as I do. I'm suspicious of this because I think a lot of it is actually subconsciously about women needing to be in the home. One of the many reasons I separated from him is because he seemed to feel that the bulk of mine and DD's time should be spent in the house most of it her watching shite kids tv while I did housework. And because he spent a vast amount of his time lolling around at home watching rubbish television and I don't think he's a particularly great arbiter of how she should be relaxing. Not only did this drive me absolutely stir crazy when we were married, I thought it was not in her best interests to spend hours in front of cartoons.

We've just had a minor ding-dong about her having gone to the park for a couple of hours affter school more or less every day in her first week of school. He thinks I take her out too much and she needs to spend time "relaxing". I question the idea that being in the park isn't relaxing and my DD loves it.

But at the same time I don't want to dismiss this completely out of hand if there's a genuine case that being in the park after school is tiring. She has been very tired this week and if she would have benefited from being at home as opposed to out, I'm willing to hear this. Just not from him

I generally tend to the same view as you, and particularly value 'fresh air' etc. In my DD's first year of school last year, I took her out in the local park after school most days when it was good weather. After a year of school I do actually now feel that genuine quiet time in the home is also important for relaxation and we are staying in more, even if it's sunny outside.

How much do they play outside at school?

I think a couple of hours after school every single day probably is actually too much. I'd have at least one day where you just come home and chill out. School is quite intense for a small child.

Thanks both. Yika just for clarification, she's had half days this week, not full school days. I take your point on board though about school being very tiring. She has had one day in the home, the rest were out in the park or at the swimming pool.

maximama thanks.

Genuinely curious to hear from others on this, its something I find hard to be objective about for the above-mentioned reasons.

As a child as soon as we got in from school we got changed and went out playing till dinner. I also take dc out a lot as we don't have a garden.

If your dd wants to go to the park I can't see the problem, as for being tired what about the dc in breakfast clubs and after school clubs from a young age. They probably don't get home till 5/6 ish.

Enjoy the age where they like going to the park, it will soon come around to the age where they want to slob out and play on the xbox.

I did this with my older 2 DC, my younger 2 seem too tired, so we restrict it to weekends. Try a day of not going to the park and see if they're any less tired.

And if it's not even full days, compared to younger dc in full time nursery a morning of school and a play in the park is nothing.

Children have energy to burn.

We've been to the park for a bit 3 nights this week as the weather's been sunny and I feel we should make the most of it before the nights draw in.
But DD is tired and I know sometimes she loves nothing more than sprawling on the sofa watching Tiny Pop and eating crackers. So I let her do that quite a bit too.

I don't think there's such a thing as too much fresh air and exercise! No way! Kids don't even need TV in my opinion! Unless she's fed up herself I think you're doing a fine job

leccybill this is the thing -- I'm off work this week, I normally work nearly full-time and she will be with a childminder and full school hours next week and as you say the weather is not going to be nice for much longer so I'm trying to make the most of the time.

I have no objection to the odd evening in front of the telly and if she was really knackered or absorbed in some activity at home I would not drag her out against her will.

I think I will dial it down a bit as the weather gets colder and as the routine sets in.

Has anyone else ever come across this idea that home time is better quality time than "out" time? I'm wondering if its a Latin thing (my ex was from a latin country). It just seems to really go against the grain for me but maybe its cultural....

Until she's at the age where she needs to be doing her homework/studying after school then I seriously cannot imagine why fresh air, exercise and socialising with other children could EVER be considered bad for a child.

It's what kids do, and should be doing. Before the days of Ipads, Playstations, and an infinite number of tv channels to zombify ourselves with, it's what we did as kids. And loved every minute.

What a dull childhood otherwise!

Of course he's wrong. Unless she's complaining she's tired, wants to go home and you're insisting she stay???

I am going to stick my neck out here and guess that you know fine well that fresh air and outdoor play are considered brilliant by almost all UK parents.

Is this a genuine dilemma you are having?

Ds is 6yrs and dd is 4yrs. Dd starts f/t next week, she is still on half days phasing in atm.
So far this week they've had swimming after school one night, and 3 nights in the park (one for 10 mins as it started raining, 2 for 1.5 hours) AND a 20min walk with the dog once home (whilst dinner cooks). I'm sure that may be a little too much but they're asleep right now (at least an hour earlier than normal ).

MorrisZapp the thing is that when I was married to ex I was subjected to so many of these sorts of theories, most of which I think he inherited from his mum and most of which sounded basically like figleaves for old-fashioned attitudes for what women and children should be doing. Which basically boiled down to me doing housework, her watching TV or playing with her toys. His mum is an elderly lady from a latin country who has had very limited life chances and means well so I don't hold it against her.

But most of his/her attitudes circle around a sort of incredulity that you would want to take a small child to the park/the library/parenting groups/a museum/a swimming pool because children need to spend as much time as possible in the home.

Most of the time I dismiss this as veiled sexism, but I've got another friend who lived for quite a long time in another latin country and she heard this a lot as well. I don't accept that most of this is true but I'm curious as to whether there is any real basis to this other than good old-fashioned sexism.

And also occasionally I check myself and wonder if I swing too far in the other direction when I'm resisting this.

You are right, he is wrong. Out doors play, what's not to like when the sun is shining!

Well unless you're new to mumsnet you probably knew that nobody here would back your sexist ex and his 'girls stay at home' approach :)

Sorry, I don't mean to sound cynical but I did think it a bit stealth boasty.

MorrisZapp ... If I wanted a stealth boast I think I might aim a bit higher than telling other mums my daughter goes to the park after school...

Its more to do with having come out of an occasionally abusive and always relationship with someone who still has a problem with me going out of the house and trying to rebalance my sense of who I am and what is right...

always controlling, I meant to say....

Can I ask what you do at the park for a couple of hours? Whenever we go to the park I get bored after 10 minutes, ds gets bored after 20, inevitably has a falling out with a random child at 25 minutes and I end up walking home with a tantrumming child 30 minutes after arriving.

Stars depends which park we go to... if its a big one near us there's tons of stuff to do, a miniature forest, a little train, a big playground and all sorts. Then there's a smaller one which is a much more bog standard park.

If its the latter I get bored quite quickly. DD never does though...

I think siblings and friends make a difference at the park Looking. We've spent whole days in parks with a picnic and friends over the summer (leading into long evenings and sharing a bottle of wine whilst the DC eat the excessive leftovers for tea).

It definitely helps having other children there. I sometimes think I'm going out of my mind with boredom in the park because I'm roped into everything. If other kids are there you suddenly become far less valuable...

DS1 used to go to the park in 3 hour blocks. He wasn't ready to leave any sooner. I brought a book to read.

DS3 gets bored after 10-20 minutes. I find it fascinating how different kids can be.

What OP is doing is ordinary & fine. This man screwed up with too much exercise & fresh air.

Couple of hours at the park a few times a week is quite a long time in my opinion. For both parent and child!
I mix it up. We love being outdoors but I think indoors chill out, TV, playing with toys, imaginary games and craft are also super important and I will prioritise over outdoor play. Sometimes my year 1 child wants to go to the park after school. Sometimes we go for it. Other times I say no. We see his friends head off. We go home. Within minutes he is absorbed in playing. We get a chance to talk, he gets some quiet time. As five year old, he doesn't get much of that. I'm paranoid about over tiredness at this age, so by having quite a it of time chilling out at home I feel I am helping to avoid that.

Short answer, no.