Do you think its possible for a child to get too much fresh air and exercise?

[newnamesamegame]

Would really appreciate a neutral point of view on this because ex and I clash over this regularly and its hard for me to separate my objections to him and his behaviour from any rational or sensible points and look at this objectively.

I was basically brought up to believe and continue to believe, generally that the more time children spend outdoors running around and exercising the better and that time spent in the park/playground is worth more than time watching TV or at home. Its possible I overdo this sometimes, but I stand by this.

Ex comes from a country where the culture is that a lot of emphasis is put on kids needing to spend time in the home and his relatives question why I need to take my DD out as much as I do. I'm suspicious of this because I think a lot of it is actually subconsciously about women needing to be in the home. One of the many reasons I separated from him is because he seemed to feel that the bulk of mine and DD's time should be spent in the house most of it her watching shite kids tv while I did housework. And because he spent a vast amount of his time lolling around at home watching rubbish television and I don't think he's a particularly great arbiter of how she should be relaxing. Not only did this drive me absolutely stir crazy when we were married, I thought it was not in her best interests to spend hours in front of cartoons.

We've just had a minor ding-dong about her having gone to the park for a couple of hours affter school more or less every day in her first week of school. He thinks I take her out too much and she needs to spend time "relaxing". I question the idea that being in the park isn't relaxing and my DD loves it.

But at the same time I don't want to dismiss this completely out of hand if there's a genuine case that being in the park after school is tiring. She has been very tired this week and if she would have benefited from being at home as opposed to out, I'm willing to hear this. Just not from him

It depends where you live! When it's 36-40 degrees then too much time outside could be fatal. Same applies to cold climates. I don't think they necessarily need to watch tv though, there are other 'at home' options.

The only way it's too much is if you're forcing/ ott encouraging a dc who doesn't enjoy it to do more than just a reasonable healthy level. Otherwise no, I think it's essential and certainly not something I would ever curtail myself.

I think you're absolutely right that he's trying to control you and is happiest if you are at home cleaning. Ugh.

Surely you just judge your child's reaction? If she's happy when you suggest the park, then go. If she seems bored when you're there and jumps at the chance to go home, do that.

When you live with a control freak you do lose the ability to judge what's normal, so I completely understand you asking the question.

Just because he's a lazy arse who would rather stay in the house doesn't mean that's what's best for you or your child.

I think my only caveat would be to give your child some time in the day to read or to play games that involve logic and concentration as well as games which are purely for fun. I'm sure you do that anyway.

Have you asked why they think that children should spend as much time at home as possible?

Can't fathom it myself.

I'm trying to think of a country where mothers would rather their children were inside and under her feet than outside having fun with friends. No, sorry, I can't!

So what you're really asking is 'is there a cultural basis for the idea that children should spend lots of time at home, if so what is it based upon?'.

My reaction to the question you asked is that no, kids cannot spend do much time playing outdoors. But, they can reasonably prefer indoor activities and gain a lot from these.

I used to play out on most or many evenings in summer, at primary age (from 5), with other kids in the neighbourhood, easily for 1-2 hours. We'd dash around on bikes and scooters, play in the park, play badminton in the street etc. very sociable, very normal back then.

I don't equate time at home with TV at all though. So, if I think of evenings at home as a primary child, I think about reading books, practising musical instruments, playing cards and games, also going out to activities. We did watch tv but it was particular, selected programmes that we watched 'as an activity' not as background noise.

There is something quite snobbish about the superiority of fresh air and exercise in British culture. It's linked to upper class people owning a lot of outdoors and valuing activities associated with landowning (hunting, shooting and fishing, owning horses and dogs) over bourgeois academic and cultural pursuits.

That probably isn't an attitude that afflicts many of us though. These days especially, with so much screen-based distractin, anything that encourages exercise, as fun and as a habit in children's lives, has to be a really valuable thing.

As long as they're fed and watered then I don't think any child or adult can have too much fresh air. Mine often play at the park after school for at least an hour, 2 hrs on Fridays then come home to play out.

Totally agree at it sounds like he just wants you to do housework while he slobs about and sees dd as an extension of you, not especially important in her own right.

His mother won't have had a choice and will be defensive of her reality, as agreeing that she wasted her life cleaning without challenging this role would not be pleasant for her.

It might be the case in Latin countries where it is far too hot to be outside all the time.

But in the UK - nope.

As soon as my 5 year old Ds comes home from school he gets changed, has a drink and then plays out with his friends. HE eats his tea 5 ish and is then brought in at 6.30 for a bath. I'm another believer in fresh air being good for the soul.

Why not just go to the park for a quick half hour after school then go home to relax?

In general, no. And certainly not library etc. but I do have a friend who keeps her children out literally all day (they even wee in the corner of the play park) and they always look knackered.

So I think there is a happy medium!

Yy lottie

But the OP is saying that the park is relaxing, Fantasyland.

I agree with lottie that in general, time at home doesn't equal telly. We play a lot of board games, do a lot ofjigsaws, Lego, have a big train set, playdoh. So I don't necessarily think park is better than jigsaws.

However in your case that's not really the question. Hours in front of cartoons is not great when you could be running about

I've been taking them for post-school park trips especially as it'll be too dark to do that in a month or so.

Too much would be if she'd passed out with exhaustion, too cold/hot or needed to go home for toilet or food. Other than that I think it's fine to be outdoors especially after spending 6 hours at school (mainly indoors)

How old is your daughter? I think getting out and about is great. When I was little my mom took my brother and I out all day every day (unless if we had homework lol). She started this at a very young age and I was always active and fit. I think going out is a lot better then staying in to watch t.v. The reason why I think what you are doing is fine is because this will stay with her as she gets older.

Growing up I took my bike everywhere, and we never used buses, a car, or anything like that. We'd bike ride everywhere, stay at the park for a few hours, go to the farm, walk for 5 hours without getting tired. This stayed with me all my life. It served me well when I got older because I was never overweight and a total outdoors person. It stimulates my brain in ways a t.v. never could. If you two like going out to enjoy the day do it! I stopped being outdoorsy after I became pregnant last year and put on 50 pounds o.o So now I'm kind of depressed. I feel like I turned into the stay at home and watch t.v. type of person and this is no way to live. I'm kind of waiting on my son right now :P Can't wait until he can walk and go play in the park too! (Or ride a tricycle). Being outdoors is a way of life. I think you should continue this because it will evolve as she gets older and you two can go anywhere without a fuss :)

In the UK you have to get them out when you can, really. If you are both happy, go for it.

Also I wouldn't have been able to stay with someone who argued with me about going outside too much. That would have made me depressed beyond words and I'd also think "is he trying to make me be a housewife ...with no access to the outdoors world". That would drive me insane. I met someone who bike rides and goes out A LOT and this was really attractive to me. Some people just like being outside. I know parents who put their baby in a carriage so they can still go bike riding...and one of them said "we only go 8 hours a day because we don't want to make it too long" but 8 hours is long! LOL, this is just how some people like to live and THAT IS FINE. I am one of these people so I totally get where you are coming from. Staying in too much can lead to depression.