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Parenting

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Original poster

being a Mum to 2 boys

63 replies

belhamwalk · 02/09/2015 15:03

Hey everyone... I am 3 weeks away from baby number 2's due date and the stupid sonographer let it slip that I'm having another boy. I feel like this has plunged me into depression! I really wanted a girl. I'm certain I only want two kids max so that means I will never be mother to a girl. No beautiful female to pass all my worldly feminist knowledge. I'm so upset!! I love my DS1 but can't get into the idea of two little boys tearing around. Somebody please give me some good points about being mother to two boys!!! TIA

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Radiatorvalves · 02/09/2015 23:04

My NN used to be Mumof222222boys.

They are fab. If I'd had a third I would have been delighted to have had another boy. Better the devil you know...

SoupDragon · 03/09/2015 07:10

From my small sample of 2 boys and one girl, whilst they are all very different characters, the boys are pretty straightforward and the girl is bloody complicated!

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 03/09/2015 07:36

I totally get how you feel. I have one DD and two DS. DD is a mini-me, and enjoys the same things I do, she's just a joy to be around. DS1 is being assessed for ASD and is hard work! I cried and cried when (unplanned) DS2 was a boy. I assumed that all boys would be like DS1 (who I love, but requires constant hard work to keep on an even keel, and doesn't really do conversation!) DS2 is so far much more like his sister in terms of personality. This causes other issues as dh finds the eldest and the youngest much easier (as do I, I just don't show it!) I guess what I'm saying, in a very long winded way) is you're having another baby, not just another boy. Hope it all goes well.

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Original poster

belhamwalk · 03/09/2015 09:27

Thanks everyone for your comments. This thread has made me (at the very least) realise the sonographer did do me a favour because at least I can get used to it! Feeling a bit better today and going to look up that episode of Malcom in the Middle!

OP posts:

Pollyvictoria94 · 03/09/2015 12:03

Happy healthy baby is all that matters x

slightlyconfused85 · 03/09/2015 13:13

I have a 2.10 year old girl and a 7 week old boy. I can't yet account for DS personality but Dd most certainly doesn't sit and do colouring and read books- she much prefers to tear around. She does have a bit of a thing about proncesses and sparkly stuff but that's about the extent of her girly behaviour. She's just a kid they're all different and gender may not necessarily make a difference. Also, think of all the new clothes you don't need to buy!

TimeToMuskUp · 03/09/2015 13:50

I have two boys 5 years apart and they are absolutely wonderful. The way I see it, they're like little dogs; loads of fuss, loads of fresh air, loads of good food and you're fine. Mine are low-maintenance, affectionate and just good, kind creatures. I'd have loved a girl, really I would; I have a ridiculous amount of designer shoes and bags and nobody to hand them down to. It's one of those things, though; you can't change it, you can't resent it. You have to shrug and smile and love the gifts you do have. And they are such gifts.

OgreIt · 03/09/2015 14:04

I have two boys, one 5, the other 7 months. After ds2 was born, after the initial delight and love for him, I felt very disappointed I'd never have a daughter and having spoken with a couple of MoB friends it seems they felt similarly. It's not about the boy you have but the imaginary girl you don't. Yes, that girl is an impossible ideal but I still feel sad I'll never get to have a daughter. And that I will in all likelihood be a MIL!!

But my boys are amazing! My ds1 was desperate for a brother, to the point that we were seriously worried how he'd react to a girl. He adores his brother and regularly thanks me for making him . He sometimes says 'Remember you thought ds2 might be a girl? SILLY YOU!' For me seeing ds1 so thrilled to have a brother has more than compensated for my own sadness at not having a girl. I feel for you though, it's a difficult thing to adjust to.

miaowroar · 03/09/2015 14:26

I have two boys - now aged 28 and 30. I had wanted a girl - well, for that breadth of experience and all my friends/sisters-in-law had one of each. However, I found it fun to have two lads - both very different.

As far as being boisterous toddlers is concerned - I often looked on in horror as little princesses came and wrecked toys and screamed. Not saying mine didn't have their moments though.

All boys households are good.

SoupDragon · 03/09/2015 14:32

And that I will in all likelihood be a MIL!!

As will mothers of girls

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere · 04/09/2015 23:09

My boys are totally different. One tears around and is on the go all day, the the other is calm and laid back.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 05/09/2015 05:54

Mothers of boys and mothers of girls will be MIL's if their children get married...

merrygohound · 18/07/2024 14:37

RockingStones · 02/09/2015 18:08

I have 4 sons (no daughters) and they are wonderful. AND they all get on fairly well most of the time. They do all have a warm and caring relationship. Eldest is 25 now. It was huge fun when they were all little, though hard work, like being part of my own little gang. Or at least being on the periphery of my own little gang. Which is how parenting should be IMO. I'm their mother, not their mate, though they do love their mammy it seems too.

The day ds2 was born I had a scan (or the week before? too many scans!), was daft enough to ask the sonographer what she said about the baby's sex. She said she THOUGHT it was a girl (these things are notoriously inaccurate) and I got into my head I was having a girl. When the boy was born I wept and was really sad for a bit, a few days. It is all a blur now as he was ill and I am sure that my feelings were all wrapped up in that confusion too. With the others I was actually pleased to have boys. I love my boys soo much. Can you tell?

OP, I am sorry you are sad. Just give yourself time to get used to the new reality. I wish you well.

Am I reading correctly that you had a scan the day he was born and the sonographer was still wrong about the sex? Even at that late stage?

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