Potty Training

[Hmonty]

Thought I'd share some good news on the potty training front. Having read some of the discussions on this web site we invested in the Gina Ford Confident child book and followed her potty training suggestions. She is very prescriptive so we didn't follow everything exactly to the letter but close enough (for instance my son just wasn't interested in the star chart so we stopped that after a couple of days)- and it worked! After a couple of days my 2.5 year old was dry and clean all day with only the odd accident. By the end of the first week we had no accidents and by the end of the second we he was doing all the asking for the toilet for himself...and we haven't looked back.

We started things off one weekend and then passed all the instructions over to the nursery and childminder. (Slight hick up with the childminder as she didn't follow our instructions and so had lots of wet trousers....but don't get me started on that moan!). Otherwise all went very smoothly.
I'd definitely recommend her method in this area.

PS
I meant to add that the most important difference this time was consistency. We used pants ALL the time. Even on long car trips or going out. Its as much about discipline in yourself. Forget the trainer pants, they are just like nappies and going naked just postpones the pants thing. If you are worried about the car seat then we found that the pampers disposable changing mats are peerfect to lie on the seat. And we've only ever needed the one!

My 2yr 9mnth son was doing just fine for about 2 months. Poos were 100% in the loo and only the occasional wee-accident. But this last week has been a nightmare. He seems to have become completely unaware about when he needs to have a wee. There are only so many times you can ask him if he needs the loo - he always swears blind he doesn't and is starting to get hysterical if you insist he at least tries (although 9 out of 10 he does then have a wee). I'm thinking about putting him back in nappies but other half thinks this would be a bad idea. We're trying a star chart with the promise of a battery Thomas for his train set, and even this isn't working. Please help.

Dear Adelaide
Has anything else happened to your son recently? Started playgroup/nursery, sickening for something? He may have a urinary tract infection (unusual in boys, but possible!) May be worth getting him checked out by your GP. The sticker thing may work on a shorter term basis ie like a mini box of smarties at the end of each day, rather than a big Thomas present at the end of a week! Weeks are a LONG time in the toddler world.
My son only just started to crack the potty training a week before his 3rd birthday, so hang on in there, all of you. He was 3 end of May, and we still have accidents 2 or 3 times a week, so not out of the woods yet!!

Fms
Have thought about this myself. Nothing "new" has started although we have been out and about alot. Weekends away, a week at my parents etc. I think we'll take things easy and have some home time to see if this makes a difference. Maybe also his younger brother (11 months) has just started being super-cute and it's very hard to balance encouragement for him without seeming to ignore No 1. But that is another topic altogether!!

Interesting to read the Gina Ford top tips to determine when your child is ready. Does anyone think that it is important for your child to be showing all the signs - in particular dry after a nap or for a couple of hours after changing a nappy? My son who is 2 in a couple of weeks has managed to do a few poos on the potty and is very interested in weeing when no nappy was on on holiday about a month ago. He often doesn't want to wear a nappy either and sometimes actively tries to take it off and won't have a new one put on. The only trouble is that one afternoon last week, he decided that he wanted to be nappy-less and I counted about 6 wees all over the house in the space of about 2 hours. I guess this shows that he isn't able to hold on yet? Any thoughts from anyone? Is he ready or should I just relax for a bit?

Sazzy - it doesn't necessarily mean he isn't ready, but he is very young yet, so proceed with caution.

I disagree with Gina Ford on this one. Both my boys were just two, when they started asking to go for a wee. At that point they had never done a wee on the potty, their nappies were always soaking after a nap, and damp after only half an hour since changing. I simply took off the nappies, and left them off. At first they did a wee every fifteen minutes or so (!), but it was in the potty. Within a couple of days they were holding on for a couple of hours, and were basically dry straight away.

If you think he's ready - go for it. Be prepared to give it at least a week before giving up. But go for it whole-heartedly - take the nappies off and leave them off and deal with any mess. Don't confuse your child by dabbling with potty training.

Dear everyone,
Since writing in despair a week or so ago, things have suddenly looked up! My 2 yr 8 mth old daughter is suddenly having odd accidents instead of weeing everywhere consistently. She's even asking to go, instead of me prompting her! It's far from perfect, but a huge improvement, just like that. We had changed tactics slightly - we'd been getting quite cross, but that only seemed to make her do it to get a reaction so we decided to remain calm, and casually 'comiserate' her on the accident. Next day, with me watching her carefully and saying 'it's time...' whenever it became obvious, she was dry for the first time ever. Since then she's asked - sometimes with no dampness first - and even through a virus, we've not had 'complete' wees on the floor! It's true - hang in there. I think they get there in their own time, eventually. (Although I'm sure we're not 'home and dry', pardon the pun, yet!)
Thanks for the support - it's great to know you're not the only one.

Fins (msg 14/1)
Dont know if youre still monitoring this talk issue, but I was looking through cos I have the exact same problem. My liitle boy eventually started weeing in the toilet fairly reliably when he was just over 3 (March), but for the last 5 months he`s refused to poo in the toilet. He waits till we put his nappy on at night and does it almost immediately. Leaving the nappy off just results in him holding onto it. Just wondered if you have had any luck yet, and if so, any tips?

Hi all,
I'd love some advice about how I can persuade my twins to use the potty/ loo for poos. They are really good at doing their wees in it but just refuse to do number twos. Even when it's obviously coming and they've got no clothes on they scream if I approach them with the pot. I've tried: not getting cross, putting a nappy in the potty (Gina Ford), giving them more to drink in case it's constipation, loads of praise for pees and gentle reminders for poos, star charts, promises of treats, not mentioning it for a while and we've got nowhere - they just keep pooing in their pants. One daughter did do a couple of poos in the potty a few weeks back and we'd thought we'd cracked it but now we're back to where we were. Help! Is there anything else I can try - I'm just getting so fed up with pooey pants!

Hi Robbie - when we started potty training my little boy started off pooing in his pants. Weeing in the toilet or on the potty was no problem, but he'd wait until he got his night time nappy on or do it in his pants.

He actually managed to successfully poo for the first time on the toilet rather than the potty. He had a wee and it was obvious a poo was coming and he wanted to get off, but I distracted him by pointing out different things in the bathroom - could he see the toothbrushes, etc, until it got to the point where he couldn't stop himself. When it did happen I made a bit of a fuss with the praise and then said wow that was a big poo, did you hear it go splash, splash splash? (I know, too much detail, but its relevant!) From then on it became a game listening for the splashes!

When he does try and get off the potty or the toilet before I know he's finished I'll try and find something to distract him with so he'll sit there a bit longer. Someone I work with made a cut out table from a box that just fitted over their childs knees when they were sitting on the potty and they would sit and draw! I think the trick is to find a way of keeping them on the potty or toilet long enough for the inevitable to happen without them really taking too much notice!

I had exactly the same problem with my son regarding pooing in the toilet. He would quite happily do wees, but that was all. However, like Emmam says, distraction does really help and also listening to the splashing noise (lovely subject I know!). The combination of the two seemed to crack the problem with my son, so now he finds it a bit of a game. I also give him a lot of encouragement too. When I discussed this subject at his nursery, they said it is a really comon problem.

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Thanks Bloss and everyone else,
I'll give it a go (though might adapt using stickers instead of sweets!). I'll let you know how we get on.

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Pooing in nappies is a problem? I yearn for my bairn to request a nappy. Anything rather than finding fresh shite being steamrollered into the (newish) carpet by a plastic Rolley (of Bob the Builder fame)...

My daughther is 2yrs and 6m. For the past 3 months we have been asking her if she needs to do a wee or a poo. But she never responds, that is, she just ignores me or my husband. She will walk away or just stares right through us. If we try to take her by that hand to the potty she freaks, crying. Occasionally at bath time she will sit on the potty but refuses to pee, then peeing in the bath.

I just wondered if I should worry. My flat is tiny so I am reluctant to let her wet herself. She is bright and talkative, but is simply unwilling to even think about using the potty.

Pie- I think it's well worth leaving the potty training for the moment if she's not keen. The main thing I've discovered from trying to help my twins learn to use a potty is that if the kid isn't motivated it really, really doesn't work!

Both mine are "ready" if you believe the lists found in books like Gina Ford or 'What to Expect..' but only one is happily using a potty. The other says things like: " No potty. I'm gonna do a wee on the carpet...Like this..." And does. V frustrating- after 2 months of regular accidental and deliberate soakings our sitting room smells like a badly cleaned urinal.

I really wouldn't worry about your daughter. Plenty of kids are still in nappies at 2 and a half and older. Also plenty are at the painful (for their carers!) half way house stage- starting to get the hang of it but having zillions of accidents- which, when prolonged because a kid won't cooperate, does nothing to improve anyone's mood!

Thanks scummymummy!

I have a friend who has a son 3 months younger than my daughter and all I hear is tales of how grown up he is, that he even flushes the toilet when he is finished. Its very fustrating to 'have my face rubbed in it' so to speak. Guess my daughter is going to do anything she doesn't want to, even if I have to listen to my friend drone on!

Batters - thanks for the supportive message. Most of the nurseries I have looked at would require her to have some level of potty training, so as yet I haven't even started to serioulsy consider one. Also I live in West London and the number of nurseries (that aren't several thousand a term) are limited.

But you guys must have been some sort of insipration....this evening she did a wee in her potty for the first time ever!!!!!

And she seemed to enjoy it....so thanks mumsnet.com for giving me hope!

What a dreadful and stupid thing for your collegue to say, Batters. Didn't you feel like living up to your mumsnet nickname and giving her what for?! Down with competitive parenting, I say, especially over our kids' excretia.

Pie- don't worry,it will happen,but in your child's own time. My son,now 4,took a long time,but we tried (outwardly)to stay calm and relaxed about it -offering the potty,but never forcing it. Its really only recently that he started using the loo,rather than his potty - though if that's handy,he'll use it !
Try not to worry !

I'm not surprised, Batters! Do you think it was a reaction to her own potty training? Maybe she was held out over the pot from day one or something and has been warped by the experience! One of my older friends puts practically all her problems in life down to her too-early potty training, to groans of derision from the rest of us, I'm afraid to say! Still, it does seem to be emotive issue so maybe there's more to what she says than we've given her credit for...

"She" refering to my friend in that last sentence, not your work collegue. Hope there was no confusion there!