I can't stand my children

[Poppywetherby]

I feel awful writing this but i cant stand my 20 month old and one of my 9 month old twins. One is so difficult and whingey and clingy and just makes everything difficult. The other twin is lovely and i dont have any problem wth her. My older boy is being horrendous to them and pinches bites, hits his sisters and me with books and toys and then laughs when you tell him off. Ive had enough i keep seeing red and having to just walk out and found myself banging my head against the wall yesterday. I had postnatal depression after my boy but had been feeling ok until their behaviour got so awful. Dont enjoy it at all its just horrendous

I didn't want to read and run,I just wanted to say you're obviously doing a great job.homestart were a great help to me so I'm glad you're also getting their help.

just echoing what everyone has said and that is take them out every day even for a walk,I know that's hard when you're mentally and physically exhausted.

join every baby and toddler group there is going,don't give two hoots about what other people think of the tantrums in public it's their problem if they disapprove!

go to soft play if you have one.

and my absolute saviour was buying a Tula Carrier for my runaway youngest who refuses to hold hands,walk nicely or wear reigns.he is heavier than his older brother (who I can also carry in the Tula) but the Tula is like a gift sent from heaven!i strap him on my back,my oldest in a pushchair and go for a very very very long walk.if you're thinking of getting a double I would recommend getting an out n about or maclaren.everyday they get older means they are closer to becoming more independent and easier entertain x

Is it physically coping with the tantrums you are worried about or the omg dont do this in front of people thing if its the latter nobody will judge you and if its the physical you just need to let them get on with it and wait till its finished, i can see why you are nervous though.

I cannot even imagine looking after 3 under 2 op. Take care

I also had three under 2, and it was a relentless job. Start every day with a positive, forget yesterday it's gone. Yes to getting out, yes to buggy board, even a walk to the shops changes the scenery for you all and you may get a chat out of it. DD was often plonked on the pram hoods if she didn't want to walk, and held on to me! Get some me time organised. Even read a book when DH is home for half an hour, even better if its in the bath. Ring a friend for a natter. Now all nearly teens and I sometimes wonder how I scraped through it , with no one dead!!

oh my, we have 7 children, but twins and another under ?

get some help. even paid help, even if it's just an hour or 2 cleaning a week, or so you can sit on a park bench on your own and breathe

and big hugs to you
little kids can be tedious, and not always easy to love!it's really not you, it's them! so don't beat yourself up

*and another under 2

You are definitely bound to be overwhelmed and have times when you feel like this you have your hands full to say the least!
My ds was 11mo when ds2 popped out and I think I did go a little bit insane in the early days as dh went back to work after 1 week and I just couldn't seem to manage both children, but it gradually fell into place. My hv was a godsend she really supported me and gave me confidence.
I hope you are ok!

I could've written your post OP. I have an 8 week old and a15 month old and all I seem to do with OH is argue about the youngest one because he just cries all the time. We're all exhausted and fed up. I've read everyone's comments and they've reassured me too. I didn't have PND after my daughter but definitely think I've got it now so going to get myself booked in at the doctors as soon as I can. It's so overwhelming isn't it? Some days I don't even eat or get to brush my teeth.

Most people would struggle with 3 under 2.

I suggest a trip to gp to talk about pnd
Homestart, you can self refer
If you have the money, a cleaner, mothers help, nursery for the oldest
it will get easier

Pixie like you I also had PND after my second but nothing with my first which is why it hit me like a ton of bricks because I wasn't expecting it,my doctors were brilliant and set me up with counselling once a week,it was the best hour of my life being able to just talk to an adult without the babies.

Echoing Dixie I found the slow cooker the best thing ever,we ate a lot of casseroles but no one cared,we were eating at least!

how are you doing today Poppy ?
I've been thinking about you.
I wish I could go round and help you, maybe just bring you dinner or something.

the hardest i had was 3 under 3.5, so I remember the desperation of "this is never gonna get better" but it will.
I know it's no use saying it right now, as every day is a tough battle and you all need to survive these full on, exhausting, demanding early years.
Yet I want to say that some of the things you struggle with the most will be greatly reduced in a few years, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I hope help is on the way, to make things easier right now.
Sending you big hugs, you are doing the best you can.

Thank you, all your comments have honestly made me feel better and feel a bit more normal. I will take all your advice, thanks so much

good to hear

keep posting when you need. give those cheeky monkeys a squeeze from me

Thanks everyone who has given me advice and thanks Poppy for actually speaking out and asking for help. I wouldn't have been able to have seen all these really helpful replies without you first staying the thread Hope you're feeling a bit better. I'm going to try Kalms first to see if those help and if not then I'll probably try anti depressants. I've had CBT before for anxiety but I didn't find it helpful. You may though Poppy so maybe give that a try if you haven't already.

Well, obviously ignore that comment above.

I had 3 under 2. They are all teens now so the early months just seem like a blur. I do remember that it was really just relentless hard work. I have a friend who had twins at the same time and she said it was an achievement if she got through the day without ending up in tears.

Take 1 day at a time. There will eventually come a moment when you realise that it's becoming easier. I am now dealing with the hormones of 3 teens - but it's nothing compared to the early days.

123 reported for bringing up old threads to just be offensive on. Go away!

user from this post and the other thread you sound like someone who is having trouble conceiving. If that's the case l am really sorry as l know it's shirt.

But imagine you came on here for some support and some fucking toe rag implied that not being able to was your fault, you weren't a nice enough person etc. Now of course that is absolutely never the case, but that toe rag would be a fucking horrible person wouldn't they hey

Why don't you do MN a favour and oh l don't know, fuck off??