I'm finding things quite difficult today and am just looking for a bit of hand holding.
DD is 7 weeks old. DH has been back at work for 3 weeks. I'm finding it so difficult to get things done, to find things to do, to get us out and about...
I can't sit in the house all day so I try and find a reason to go out each day but I'm running out of steam. We go to a baby group once a week (well, we try; it starts at 9:30 so sometimes by the time I've got us both ready there's no point going). I end up just going to supermarkets or shops for no real reason and I'm finding it really fucking boring if I'm completely honest.
DD is a joy (most of the time); she has grizzly times of day but sometimes she will be put down. Others, though... She'll settle in her sling but I find it hard to get stuff done around the house with her in the sling (for instance, washing up - my arms just aren't long enough to reach round her to the sink!). I feel like a failure for being at home all day and not being able to even stay on top of day-to-day cleaning, like the washing up, or tidying the living room, or cleaning the bathroom. My mum came and cleaned our bathroom about a month ago and it hasn't had a proper clean since.
DH does do his fair share around the house and we've always split things fairly equally, but I kind of feel like because I'm at home through the day that I should be picking up more of the house stuff IYSWIM.
I just don't feel like I have a life any more. I know being a parent my child comes first now and that is fine. But I never get any time to myself (whereas DH does, which I think I do resent quite a bit). Again it's partly my own doing because I'm breastfeeding so I can't just pass her to someone for a few hours with a tub of formula. DH has a couple of hobbies that he's still carrying on with; one is regular on a Sunday afternoon (which does annoy me because it's one of the only days we have together, and I could do with the extra support), the other more sporadic and usually on an evening in the week. He keeps saying I need to go out and do something for me but I'm just thinking, how? I need to express milk to do that and I just can't find a time in the day that works to be able to build up a stash. DD is too little to have a proper routine yet so I can't just be like "oh, 3pm she'll be asleep so I can pump then."
Argh! Sorry this is so long, I just needed to vent!