Why you love being a parent :)

[cloudlessskies]

Hi all,
After many months of discussion of the pros and cons of having children. DH and I have decided to 'casually try' for a little one.
I am super scared and unfortunately some threads on here don't make me feel any better!
So, please tell me what you enjoy about being a parent/what has made you smile today!

Tracking your cycle is not exactly "casually trying".
I always find the people that agonise over the decision are the ones who totally change their lives and outlook. Those who are a little more relaxed, stay a little more relaxed.

Best thing I ever did. The love is overpowering (but in a good way). I Just can't explain the joy and satisfaction of sitting with a huge armful of your kids and just being together. It makes up in spade loads for the crap of everyday life. And it's so fascinating to watch them grow, develop, get personalities, opinions, language, and eventually emerge as an independent being. I will never forget that feeling of standing, just gazing at them in their little beds, saying 'look how beautiful, perfect s/he is. How clever we are to have made her/him'. I don't do God but it's as near to a miracle as you can get.

And yes, there are hard times, but you have those without kids too. Good luck with your bonking. That bit's fun too.

Those who are a little more relaxed, stay a little more relaxed, says the mummy who didn't have to go through many IVF cycles. IVF is not relaxing, but IVF mummies can be relaxed mummies too.

Being a parent, to me, means a life of more. More love, laughter, smiles, joy, contentment and more worry, anxiety, stress, tiredness, worry and even more worry. It's MORE and it's brilliant and I love being a Mum. My DCs are grown up now and it keeps getting better.

These could be in a book! Great, great thread OP and a lovely balance for the OMG days we all have. It's lovely reading them from the differing age perspectives of the parents. Brings back nice memories long forgotten when life takes over.

love this thread. i love that you are fully responsible for them...they rely on you fully for everything. the unconditional love....the big squeezy cuddles and sloppy kisses. ds1 almost 4 melts my heart everyday when he says i love you soooo much mummy. or mummy you look like a princess. ?

ds2 almost 2 has the most cheekiest cutest smile and giggle and it gets me every time. he is at the exploring age and seeing his eyes light up when hes managed to say a new word is priceless. he is so proud of himself he claps everytime he does something new.

ds3 aged 9months love the way he nuzzles his head into my neck. that cute toothy grin n giggle. seeing him progress.

having children is a fulltime job, it is rewarding and fulfilling...however can also be hard work. it will make your life different but will bring you n DH closer together...knowing you made this beautiful child together. good luck ?

They give you an excuse to play on the swings, slides and roundabouts in the playground (well, someone needs to show them how it's done ). They also change and develop and forever retain your interest and love - far more varied than the average career. Even if you find some stages of their lives stressful and tiring, they are just stages in an incredible journey and before you know it, you're on to a new part of their and your life and it's such a privilege to be able to be a part of it from the very beginning - you will be more aware of how these incredible people became who they now are than anyone else in the world. When you look at them and listen to them and see yourself and your dh in them, but without any of the cynicism or world weariness, you won't be able to help thinking how miraculous it is and their enthusiasm for things can be infectious. Birthdays are a bit of a bore without a child's excitement and pride at feeling so grown up behind them.

Whore, I am not talking about getting pregnant. I am talking about attitudes to parenting. The ones who say ' it won't change my life' are invariably the ones who change the most.

What do I love about having my boys:
Being able to go to first screenings of Pixar films without anyone giving me a funny look
Watching them do things for the first time - I amazed myself that I could sit and endlessly just watch them both as babies, marvelling at how wonderful they were.
The loveheart eyes - happens when they're only a couple of months old, they just look at you and you can see virtual lovehearts coming out of their eyes at you. Such an adoring look - never see it again though, not in the same way! :(
The funny things they do, the funny words they say, the little noises of happiness - DS2 has had a full-on "numnumnum" day while eating today, and he's 2.9! Just love listening to him enjoying his food like that.
Getting to play with toy trains again
Watching them when they see things for the first time - the perfect O of their mouths, the wide eyes, the excitement!
Playing in the leaves in the garden
Blowing bubbles
Christmas takes on more meaning again

So much. Of course there are downsides, when things aren't as easy as you'd like - but they bring so much fun and joy as well that it makes up for it.

I really really loved the tiny baby stage, because I co-slept and breastfed, so didn't have to get up in the night as much as people who don't do those things (except for nappy changes of course!) and therefore wasn't as tired as some people get, so I really enjoyed this. Up until 2, I couldn't be happier with them - but after 2, they start to get a bit more independent and resistant to doing as they're told and then they're a bit more frustrating!
But the joy when they curl their arms around you for cuddles, or snuggle in for comfort, or tell you they love you, or "you look booful, mummy", makes up for it.

And I wasn't that keen on the idea of having DC at all - if I'd married someone as ambivalent about it as I was, I doubt I would have had any, so I'm glad I married DH who wanted children, else I'd have really missed out!

I love my children - I would lay down my life for them.

But for me one of the greatest things that motherhood has brought is the transformation of myself.
I have had a turbulent past, raised not to think much of myself, and as a result experienced some very difficult times.
Having children has changed me completely.
I have gone from a doormat to a tigress. Since my first was born I found a voice that I didn't know existed.
My children have awoken a courage that I didn't know I had- to speak up for them and advocate for them became so important. In putting them first I learned that I had to nurture myself too.
Motherhood has been an amazing experience for me.

four that's a lovely post. Something similar here too. Changed for the better in so many ways.

Thanks bettysviolin, And so interesting that you have had similar. Motherhood has changed my life completely. I am glad you feel the same.XX

I love my DH very much but my DCs are the best thing that ever happened to me
To watch them grow and develop into people is just amazing
And when you look into your own newborn's eyes there is nothing on earth like it .

Whipnaenae

Sorry, when you commented Tracking your cycle is not exactly "casually trying". I always find the people that agonise over the decision are the ones who totally change their lives and outlook. Those who are a little more relaxed, stay a little more relaxed. I thought you were talking about OP tracking her cycle to try and get pregnant.

And not sure what "decision" people are agonising over if it isn't 'should I or should I not have a baby?'

There was nothing in your first post that made me think "Ah, Whip is talking about attitudes to parenting" (which is what you claim in your second post). Your first post made me think "Whip is telling the OP that she isn't casually trying because she is using a cycle-tracking app, therefore she will not be relaxed and therefore she will not be a relaxed parent".

I can tell you that as someone who tore her hair out trying to conceive all three of mine and losing one on the way, that I have ended up being a very relaxed parent with relaxed and happy children. A stressful conception doesn't mean a stressed parenting style will follow.

I haven't read all the replies but I was very casual about the notion of being a parent. I wasn't in any rush. As soon as I had DD I just wondered why I'd waited so long.

The love you feel for your children is just amazing. It's hard to imagine it until you feel it for yourself. Knowing that you (and your DH/DP) are the centre of your DC's universe.

I love the cuddles and kisses. I love it when I tuck DD in and tell her that I love her and she mutters back (half-asleep), "I love you too, Mammy".

I love all the firsts. The first time you bring your DC to the beach, the first time you bring them to the zoo, the first time they're old enough to feel the magic of Christmas etc. etc. The wonder and excitement as they take it all in. And of course, the way they hold your hand for re-assurance.

The love and pride in your DC's faces as they surprise you with a home made wonky ornament they made you for Mother's Day.

It's not all plain sailing. I found the first few months quite tough. I didn't have much family support and I'd a very colicky baby. But once I got to the 6 month stage it got so much easier. I simply couldn't imagine my life without DC now.

The cuddles

Good luck OP!

I just wanted to add that hearing your child laugh - I mean really crack up - is the absolute best sound in the whole world. It literally fills me with joy.

They are two separate points whore. The OP said they were casually trying, although tracking your cycle is not that casual. She also said that she was glad that having children doesn't have to mean that your social life takes a back seat. I agree with this, but I have often found that by planning to be more relaxed, the opposite frequently happens.

Well, it stands to reason that if you have to plan to be relaxed, you aren't the most relaxed person in the world!

Talking of being relaxed, there is nothing less relaxing than buying lots of baby books and trying to follow their advice (and believing their child development platitudes) to the letter. If you expect your baby to react to everything in textbook fashion, you are in for a serious disappointment. The joy and curse of children is their individuality. Your child will be nothing like anyone else's.

I'm not very maternal, but however much I love having a break from my little one, I do miss him after a few hours, and by the end of the day, I can't wait to go home and give him a cuddle! Nothing's better than cuddles with your partner and child

I love my children unconditionally and they likewise.
I was never having any children and none of them wer planned. we just went with the flow and ended up with 3.
I like that it was solely me and dh that raised/are raising them. I love how my opinion has changed over the years.
I love being the most important thing in their life, then their friend, the person they still ask for advice when grown up.
True, your life is never the same, but who wants sameness throughout their life.

My favourite baby book was the Libby Purves one, how not to be a perfect mother. Still think it had the best advice in it.

Watching their personalities become more and more pronounced is fascinating . My oldest is only 2.2 but the differences between her and her brother are massive already . Lovely to see these new little people learn /grow

The reason why some parents do appear to their childless friends to become so all-consumed by their children is that, actually, their children are more adorable and fascinating than anything else.