Why you love being a parent :)

[cloudlessskies]

Hi all,
After many months of discussion of the pros and cons of having children. DH and I have decided to 'casually try' for a little one.
I am super scared and unfortunately some threads on here don't make me feel any better!
So, please tell me what you enjoy about being a parent/what has made you smile today!

I didn't want children. My husband pleaded with me on our honeymoon to give it a try, I was not in the least bit interested but agreed to keep him happy and figured I could get a nanny/work if I didn't enjoy it, and would have only one child (I can't believe I am admitting it, but that is what I thought at the time)

My goodness me, the minute I became pregnant it seemed to awaken a dormant (non existent) hormone in me and I enjoyed it so much, I loved my growing tummy (I thought I would hate having something growing INSIDE me ~ it made me feel eugh) but no, it felt completely and utterly natural. Having not been remotely interested in babies, I read and researched everything in the following nine months and left holding my beautiful new born having never even held a baby before!

My god it was a learning curve, but I loved every single minute, she became the centre of our universe and still is today. We idolised her in a way that is impossible to describe and still do, and treasured every moment of her childhood now for the ten years she has been on the planet. Following her was her baby sister, who will all collectively adored, and she is the sunshine of our family and I love her just as much with ever ounce of my being. Our lives felt empty and superficial before our children to be completely honest with you. I look back on our life before children, and see it as quite a self interested, almost self centred lifestyle just alive to please ourselves really. Now we care about the world, we care about litter, about other children, about the future in a way we never ever did before.

It is tiring, it will totally change your life, you will feel joy and exhaustion in the same measure, you think you love your husband but it is nothing compared to the tremendous love you will feel for your child ~ bringing a new life into the world is just about the best thing I have ever done...it will always be the best thing we ever did. If you do go ahead, relax and take it as it comes and enjoy it!

Thanks for your post heartofgold. If it happens for us, I hope that I respond like you and love it. I appreciate it will be hard but it also must be amazing as most people go ahead and have children.

So nice to hear many of you say how happy you are. xx

I feel calmer at times, but I still have a lot of anxiety. Time will tell I suppose!!

First baby, we are 9months in! Been loads better than we expected. Love the chaos of bath time, ds has learnt to throw so is even more fascinated by balls! He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, even at 4am

Oh gosh. Nothing prepares you for the love you feel and nothing compares to it. It's helped me put so much in perspective. I'm currently facing redundancy and it's almost like he gives me the strength to face it all. There are worse things in life than losing your job - if my little family is healthy, we keep a roof over our head and food on the table we can cope with everything else life throws at us. When I'm feeling at my worst, he says things like "Mummy you're beautiful, I love you" and everything else pales into insignificance. Of course he's a little shit sometimes and currently having a particularly challenging phase but every day I think how lucky i am and never regret for one instant having him.

It's really hard work but What I love most is a little girl that Dh and I made learning new things every day. She's 2.8 now and she talks, has a little sense of humour, can feed herself, knows a few things and this I find amazing. I love hearing her little feet pad across the landing and into our room when she wakes. It's just a special kind of love that's hard explain. Good luck ttc

Looking at dd's face

Hearing the surprising things she has to say

Laughing at her wicked mimicry until my sides split

Learning that your child can be a mirror of yourself (ouch) usually when they are being their most difficult

How the world suddenly makes sense in a way it didn't pre-dd

Understanding that it is possible to have the best of times and the worst of times all at once!

Being pushed to do things you would never have considered previously that are totally outside of your comfort zone

Appreciating everything more!

Watching your child discover one of your absolute loves, such as favourite movie, book, activity - nothing beats sharing in that joy of discovery and re-discovery together! E.g. seeing your child moved by the end of ET or giggle at old youtube videos of Maid Marian...

dd is 11 months, it has gone so quickly! I love her big chuckling belly laughs when I tickle her, she sounds like an old man. I love the fact that her face just lights up when she hears dh arriving home.

I love it that she's trying to walk at the moment, but can only do it when she's holding on to my fingers, but she just stands up, puts her hands up in the air totally confident that I will be there to hold them, and then sets off and makes a noise that is half sheer determination and half pure excitement! hilarious and lovely (although my back is a bit knackered from walking around bent at the waist all day!!)

My children make me smile every day. Kisses on the cheek without any prompting, followed by 'i love you mummy'. Just watching them, moving, speaking, learning, growing, knowing that me and DH created those children, but also that they are becoming their own individual people, just amazing. The difficult bits are worth it because they happen for a reason, they are part of the learning journey, both for them in becoming independent adults and for us as we learn patience, acceptance, forgiveness, how to multi-task effectively, how to prioritise things, how to let go of things that are not actually important (tidying a messy kitchen or playing kerplunk with two excited and happy children). They have made me happier in my life, helped me cope with some difficult hurdles unrelated to them (health issues and bereavement), and I am more driven to be a better person, a kinder person, feel more at one with the world around me, as I have thought about what it means to be human, to be part of the world and linked with others. I never had that before.

oh and being able to go to the zoo and funfairs and petting farms and things that maybe you might not do without children. We spend MUCH more time on the beach than we ever did with children, despite it being on our doorstep. Oh, and my liver is certainly in better shame as I have neither time or money to drink too much alcohol several times a week any more (nor the physical ability to cope with a hangover and two lively young children!).

today, this is why I love being a parent - my 3 dcs helping each other out and just being lovely together

Because nothing, nothing beats those tiny little moments when they do something funny, or sweet, or reach to you for love.

Watching DD do her first full recitation of a song for us last night. Just the loveliest, sweetest moment.

Or when I go to kiss her at night when she is asleep and she puts her arm around my neck and pulls me close.

Sure, it can be hard, and it can change your life a lot, but those little moments are so much more powerful than you ever believed anything could be.

Being a parent is just about the best adventure I've ever had in life, including travelling, adventure sports and doing wildlife research in weird and wonderful places.

When our DS was born we had an overwhelming feeling of 'bloody hell what took us so long!'

Yes it's scary, yes it's expensive (your finances are now under 'biological control' - so you WILL have to buy things when baby needs them rather than when you feel you can afford them), yes it's exhausting trying to work and cope with a toddler who is sick and WILL NOT SLEEP, yes it can break your heart and make you angry at all the crapness in the world and yes your relationship with your partner will be strained at times! But if you just accept that as par for the course and every other parent is in the same boat as you, then you can begin to see why most people will never ever look back once they become a parent.

The highs are amazing, we do feel 'complete', we do feel smug and wonder what the hell childless couples 'do' with all their time and money, it's an absolute pleasure to spend our evenings and weekends as a family, and as some others have said, I do feel I have a renewed 'purpose' in life.

Today I have mostly smiled at my 17mo son stumbling about like a wee drunk person trying to 'brush' the decking with a long-handled brush that is way to big for him - he loves it and was giggling his head off this morning!

When I get my 11 week old up she gives me a massive beaming smile, as though me picking her up is the best thing that has ever happened to her. Makes my heart melt every time!

It's definitely really hard work (and the lack of sleep when they are little is torture) but there is nothing better than when your child says they love you or gives you a really big hug.

My 2yr old is just starting to put together sentences and when he asks for "mummy cuddle" and then wraps his arms round me and says "squeeze" it's just the best feeling ever.

I also love when they learn new things and proudly show you - tying shoe laces, getting a certificate at school, drawing you a picture etc etc.

The thing I love about having children... is them getting older! The older the better! The first 12 months were tough and the terrible twos are tough and don't be under any illusions, your life will change and there will be things really really miss about your old life. But, for me anyhow, parenting gets more fun when they start chatting to you, having their own opinions and trying to be funny.

When my son was a baby he'd smile when you went into his room first thing in the morning. Was great! He's 8 now, and I've got a 6 year old daughter. I love that you can now teach them quite skilled things (e.g. my son is in to computers, and we found out together how to download and install new Minecraft files. A lot of adults wouldn't be able to do that) and they remember it easily. It's great to watch them become more independent, next year my son will walk to school and back by himself, which is another big milestone for us.
I also find it amazing how different they are, they are two completely different personalities.

I agree the first few years are tough. Once ours got to four things got much easier. I'm not looking forward to the teenage years though!

I love that it just gets lovelier and easier every day (DD is nearly 11, I may need someone to remind me about this thread in a year or two!)

When DD was born it was all a bit traumatic, she had colic and I had PND so the first few months were really tough, but from about 4 months she settled and I started to get the hang of it and it's been great ever since.

Sure it's not all perfect, we've had a couple of sleepless nights recently over school stuff, she can be grumpy and lippy and hormonal occasionally, but beyond that we have such a close relationship and it's lovely experiencing that developing as she grows up. I'm really fortunate that we have lots in common beyond being mum and daughter, which is wonderful as I didn't have that with my mum - we love each other to bits but we're very different character.

It's just one big, fabulous adventure really .

HeartofGold That is such a lovely post. My mum felt much the same way as you - was pretty ambivalent about the whole thing, but agreed to see what happened and along came me. We're chalk and cheese but that has never stopped us having a close relationship even if we do drive each other nuts at times. She was 36 when she had me and has said several times she wishes she'd had at least one more child.

I also have a couple of friends who left it until they were nearly 40 before trying for a baby - both of them are doting mums to teenage/adult daughters now.

Damn you all, you've made a pregnant lady cry (not that it takes much these days) - I hope you're all proud of yourselves!!!

My favourite things are

Getting to snuggle with my Dd whilst she snoozes
Watching her learn new skills and relish in how much she changes on a daily basis.
Seeing how excited she gets when she sees me and DH when she wakes up or pick her up from cm.
Knowing she needs me for everything.

Yes being a parent isn't all roses but hell, there's plenty of things that make it worth it.

I've honestly never felt love like it. Unconditional and enduring, as someone else has said. I'm not saying you won't feel that through other means, but it's certainly a unique kind of love and happiness. You'll laugh loads and be so proud of each new step they make. They'll also drive you nuts and at times and you'll want to sell them on eBay. It's not always easy but don't overthink the various threads about the angst of parenting - people come on here for advice and discussion and it's more likely to be about 'negatives' than 'help me love my child even more'. I'm not a smug mum tho, and I completely understand why people wouldn't want kids.

DD1 (3) just gave me 20 cuddles before bed. It was the sweetest thing.

DD2 (11 months) waves and says "byebye" whenever anything goes out of the room, including balls and kittens.

The best thing is that, after a day of whining and tantrums and dirty nappies, they tell you they love you, or give you a kiss, or wrap their gorgeous little arms around you and snuggle in and all the bad things just melt away.

Actually, thinking about it a bit more, for me the best thing is seeing DH with our children. He was scared of being a father because he'd had little to do with babies or children before. But he is such a good father.

And seeing him with our girls curled up in bed while he reads them a bedside story, or sings them a song to help them sleep... it is such an incredible feeling. It makes me overwhelmingly happy to see him so happy.

I think that's the best thing for me.