Things your parents did with you that annoyed you soooo much (light hearted)

[bodenbiscuit]

That you make a conscious effort to do it differently with your own children.

Mine is that my mother was terrible at coordinating my clothes. She made me wear odd socks, clothes that didn't match and black school shoes with party dresses. And her response was always 'who's going to notice?'. This infuriated me because when your clothes don't match, YOU notice and of course other people notice. Disclaimer: my parents were well off - they could easily afford coordinating outfits.

So as a result my own children always have perfectly matching outfits and I go to great lengths to make sure their party shoes match their dresses.

What's yours?

I don't think my Mum knew what the bloody hell she was doing half the time. I remember being left to my own devices a lot, and always having to have a sibling trailing after me.

She also used to let me take loads of time off of school to look after my youngest brother.

Consequently, I now feel a bit bemused at the attendance stuff from education these days. Bar one of my siblings (who is a bum), we've all done reasonably well for ourselves. Even if we did have to play catch up for a year. In hindsight, she wasn't parented very well herself. My Grandma was a nasty piece of work and I hated her with a passion.

This isn't a lighthearted thread I'm crying at some of your childhoods . Pleased that you manage to put it behind you and give a good childhood to your own dcs.

My dad was a plane spotter so we went to mcr airport fortnightly - to watch planes - cruelty #1

We were dragged around every air show and traction engine rally in the country cruelty #2

I got my aunts hand me down clothes - 15 yrs after she first had them - mostly nose picker blouses and flared jeans cruelty #3

Obviously I don't do any of these things to my kids and after years of therapy I can make peace lol

My mum was horrified at me choosing to be a childminder, then conceded grudgingly " But then I suppose you do like children and I don't". This explains a lot! But not perhaps why she still treats all her grown children as children, and makes remarks such as "Surely you are not going out dressed like that?" or "You really don't want to do that" to most suggestions (household purchases, holiday choices, whatever). It is only tolerable in small doses at long intervals.

minderjinx Why did your mum have children I wonder?

We had to go on rambles. Didn't mind that so much although I was always the only child in the group.

They wouldn't let me drink though. A ten mile walk with no drink. They'd bring one small bottle and let me sip it.

This was every weekend. I'd be sooooo thirsty.

Interesting how a lot of these mention mums controlling their daughter's hair lengths. My mum wouldn't let me grow my hair as 'it looked straggly', thus giving me a life long complex about my hair.

Always had cheap clothes, I was desperate for Dr Martins and long grungy skirts, no way! Clothes from the catalogue or market. I now own many pairs of Dr Martins!

Weekends were spent trailing around Iceland/BnQ/a market/caravan show room (we never owned a caravan).

We watched a LOT of telly. It was on constantly. Were not encouraged to go outside.

Never ate out except Maccy Ds occasionally. Think it was too expensive for them. My mum also said she didn't take us to cafés/restaurants as children as it was too much effort. I like taking my DC to eat out.

Was also desperate to horse ride: I even found someone who was willing to give me a quick lesson in exchange for cleaning out the stables, but I still wasn't allowed.

Food was an issue, for example, I hated red meat and found it impossible to eat. When I was 12 I decided I wanted to be vegetarian. My Mother went on and on about it (it was a 'fad') then decided I couldn't have any replacements (wasn't allowed to cook, another weird and annoying thing), so I just had the veg in a meat and two veg meal. I think she was trying to starve me out of it! I rained vegetarian for 18 years and have never had red meat since. I've vowed not to make my children eat something they dislike, it's counterproductive.

I could go on and on...

*remained

I wanted to horse ride and skate, my friends used to go but my mum wouldn't take me because she didn't want to do it or spectate.

Not allowed to watch Eastenders on a Monday because it started at 8.00 and was therefore much more dangerous
Not allowed to have My Little Pony or a new Barbie (had a one handed one from a jumble sale)
Not allowed to have dairy, potatoes, oranges or tomatoes until I was 14 because I had 'intolerances' - even though had been secretly eating them for years. Still get questions now if I'm seen eating certain things plus has transferred to my ds.
Always late to pick me up even though she worked part time
Voted for someone else when I was in the school talent show
Dreadful short haircut

My parents were quite decent parents really, made their mistakes, but they were pretty young when they had me and split up when I was one.

The things that used to annoy me:
Mum putting me and my sister in matching outfits.
•Being compared to my younger and girlier sister. She at the time was closer to our mum. When I was a teenager my mum told everyone that I was more interested in books than boys. What she meant was she thought I was a lesbian because I was not girly like my sister
•She also told everyone when I started my period, I was motified my sister started two years later and understandly only told me and I sorted her out!
I can say I am very close to my mum now and she is a great nan to ds.

Dad died when I was 10 so fewer memories but he was so corny sometimes. Would do terrible dancing at parties, would be cheesy as hell. Took my football sticker book off me because I was not putting the stickers in straight and had a thing about never letting children win games. Cue him dancing happily everytime he beat me at monopoly. The day I first won, I sure let him know it!

shokolade

I'm another who wasn't allowed to watch ITV, wear jeans, listen to pop music, chew gum (not that I wanted to as it happened), or do anything else that might be regarded as 'common'. I was also not allowed to read Enid Blyton (sexism, racism and bad writing -- my father's judgement) but otherwise did have free range of their bookshelves.

I let my children watch TV, wear jeans and trendy clothes, and listen to pop music; I have not encouraged gum but not forbidden it and just never bought any Enid Blyton books.

The one thing that my mother did (and still does) that I have always loathed and will NEVER do myself is pass judgement on my friends. She splits the world into people who are 'quality' and people who are not, and loathed all my boyfriends including my now DH although she loves him now because they weren't middle class and miniature versions of my father.

I had to have short hair too, but to be fair I still don't know what to do with my hair, long or short it never looks good. My mum wouldn't let me grow it because she said it was too much trouble to brush long curly hair. Mind you my DD1 has inherited my curly hair and if I DON'T brush it, it turns into amazing blonde ringlets which I would have killed for at that age. And then yesterday (we were by the sea, it was windy) a lady said to me 'I bet she hates her hair' - I was mortally offended, her hair is BEAUTIFUL!

In my memory my parents made is do mainly stuff they enjoyed at weekends - long walks, nature reserves - I longed to go bowling or the ice rink or cinema. Holidays were camping or youth hostels - I was in my mid-20s when I stayed in a proper hotel for more than a night or two. Always picnics or packed lunches rather than cafes - I take DCs to cafes all the time now, I know my mum disapproves.

I also have the food thing, I was trained to eat everything on my plate so end up over-stuffing myself as I don't like leaving food. My mum blames it on her being raised in the era of rationing, so she was always telling us to eat up - and yet she manages to be teeny tiny herself.

Anyway my folks are lovely, mostly. Eccentric definitely, but their hearts are in the right place.

I was never allowed long hair, cut off just below the ear.

Also wearing non-gendered clothes (my mum was way ahead if her time ) and toys, which was great toy wise (scalextric, electric train, playmobil and lego) but led to people wondering if I was a girl or a boy.

Only grew my hair at 16, ears pierced (naughty!) at 20, make up at 21...

And people wonder why I always wear dresses and yes, I have long hair.

Now all I need is to buy myself a barbie!

My dad would sometimes lick my nose when tucking me in and saying goodnight. I don't know why he did it but I do know that I absolutely hated it!

My mum made sure I looked really stupid all the time (home cut curly hair when all the other girls had glossy page boys or long bunches) home made clothes (and hardly any of them) terrible shoes, NHS glasses. Also incredibly naff first name. And no gadgets / toys worth having. (We were not poor.) She also made sure I knew I was fat and annoying. THEN at excruciating gatherings with other children, she would be visibly impressed with the other children who had confidence and social skills, while apparently oblivious to the fact that they may have acquired them through having jeans and trainers and perhaps not being despised on sight, and at risk of violence, by every peer they ever met. I would be ostracised and then told off for being unsociable having spent the afternoon crying in some bushes. On the way home she would dreamily muse about how lovely those other children were.

My father is really sarcastic and mean about everyone behind their back. I am paralysed in his presence by wondering what he is going to say later about me and my family.

My dad used to exercise in the garden just wearing his Y Fronts when I had my friends round. Thought I would die of embarrassment.

My parents were quite young parents, they were selfish. They weren't very loving, I can't remember them cuddling me or telling me they loved me. I am very loving to my children so much so my mum even mentioned to my brother about how loving my children are to me and to other people. Basically I do everything differently to how my parents parented me. I expect my children to hate some of the things I do, even though I am always trying to do my best.

Got pissed and told me all there problems including sexual.

No mother on my 14 I dont want to be told about about your lesbian relastionship and past sexual abuse.

Step mother I don't want to be told at 15 why you don't want to sleep with my father

to all those who endured the horrible stuff.

tequila that reminded me of my mum. Told me all sorts of in appropriate stuff. That my dearly loved and much missed granddad had made a pass at my mum because my grandma didnt like sex. Well that put the tin lid on it and I've never allowed her close enough to have that type of conversation again. Spoilt our relationship I think, or maybe I just grew up and moved on a bit? Heavy. Will go back to thinking about the secret judo and sock washing earlier in the thread as it was so funny.

Ashbee, that's awful. Your poor mum.

Wouldn't let me grow my hair because "it suits you short." It doesn't. It didn't. My DCs have hair autonomy once old enough, within reason.

Wasn't allowed to watch power rangers I did anyway mine, again, watch whatever they like without reason.

Wasn't allowed barbies, ever, because they were a "bad example." Toys are toys, my DCs just play with whatever they grow to like.

But my Mum was and is amazing so I don't hold it against her. much

Oh oh oh, and flashing trainers! Everybody had flashing trainers and I was never allowed because they were "vile." Apparently.

My eldest DC had flashing trainers for first ever shoes, and they now have them whenever they ask

My mum made me have my hair cut short, which I hated. Then when I grew it back, she made me keep the horrible fringe and 80s 'sideburns'. It looked terrible and was a nightmare to grow out when I was finally old enough to convince her to let me (13, FFS). She also didn't let me have fashionable clothes and often dressed me in her old clothes. We weren't short of a few bob, so no idea why she did it. I basically looked awful from the age of 8 to 14 or so (at which point, I scrimped and saved every bit of my pocket money to buy my own cheap clothes that were at least vaguely fashionable).

I don't understand why she wanted to make me look so awful. I was bullied relentlessly for being unfashionable and ugly and it was her fault. My DS has very few opinions about clothes at the moment - he's 6 - but when he's older he can wear what the hell he wants and do whatever he wants with his hair. I don't want him to go through what I did.