Things your parents did with you that annoyed you soooo much (light hearted)

[bodenbiscuit]

That you make a conscious effort to do it differently with your own children.

Mine is that my mother was terrible at coordinating my clothes. She made me wear odd socks, clothes that didn't match and black school shoes with party dresses. And her response was always 'who's going to notice?'. This infuriated me because when your clothes don't match, YOU notice and of course other people notice. Disclaimer: my parents were well off - they could easily afford coordinating outfits.

So as a result my own children always have perfectly matching outfits and I go to great lengths to make sure their party shoes match their dresses.

What's yours?

Something for modern parents to contemplate- 'forbidden fruits' make things highly desirable!

I wasn't allowed to do anything crafty.

Any craft kids/competitions/etc they did for me with their adult knives and glue. I got to sit and watch.

Weirdly enough though they were always very critical of any other competition entry which obvious had any parental input.

Thank you Dancergirl.

I was able to watch anything at all on the telly when I was a kid. I remember asking my mum what a prostitute was when I was about 8 - I have no idea what we were watching! I also watched Children of the Corn and Wicker Man very young. I'm now in my 40s and am terrified of anything slightly menacing as a result.

I think I'll stick to cbeebies for now with my two!

What a lovely thread!

The one thing that I swore I would never do is to sulk with my DCs. My DM has NPD and to punish me if I said or did something that caused offence (virtually everything) she would refuse to talk to me or even look at me for days and as I became an adult the sulking could last for weeks. I had to work hard to ease myself back into her good books. It was so painful. I swore that I would never make my DCs suffer like that and I have told them since they were little that I would never ever stop loving them for one single split second. And that even when they had done something wrong and I was cross with them that would not mean that I didn't love them. I also swore that I would never, ever refuse them a hug like my mother had done to me when in her sulks. And I haven't. Even when they have driven me to distraction and I am cross and they are crying and they come to me for a hug to try and make me soften then I fold my arms around them and tell them that I love them even though I don't appreciate their behaviour. They are growing up into really delightful young people and I hope will not have the low self esteem that my DM gave me.

I was always told to hold my stomach in & put my shoulders back. In fact I am still told this at the grand old age of 35. Somethings never change. Was told tonight I should wear more make up to make myself look 'tidy'. Nice.

whoreandpeace I'm the same. I had to 'train' myself not to sulk and withdraw from my husband.
Now and again I have to have a strong word with myself with the kids.

Mine hated paying for parking and would park on the outskirts of places and hike for what felt like miles on days out in order to save a few quid.

I hated walking, especially by the time I was teen, and it was such a waste of time!

We were never allowed to stop at service stations, we regularly did 350 mile trips. I remember the agony of trying to hold a wee in, I always factor in a service station stop now, just because I can.

They also used to put me in the boot on long journeys, to give us more space. I was the youngest of 3 and it was an estate car, but i remember being terrified of the suitcases falling on me when we went round corners. Although I did enjoy waving at cars behind us . They mustn't have been very safety conscious.

I told them how to live their lives and they didn't listen. They would have been so much happier if they had. I was three years old and exasperated by them.

My parents weren't too bad judging by this thread!

I was never allowed to buy new Enid Blyton books on the grounds that they were sexist and racist. I used to bring home several at a time from the library or buy them secondhand.

My mum used to scrutinise labels for additives and is fond of telling the story of how, when some friends of hers were taking my sister and me somewhere, asked us what snack we would like. I replied that I would like anything with additives.

In the 80s we often used to listen to a song in the car that went something like "Four minutes to midnight. Four minutes before we die. Three minutes to midnight.." etc. Despite wanting my children to be aware of world politics I'm not sure I would play this to under-10s.

I am wary of shouting too much at the children as my mum could be shouty on occasion - although on the other hand she was and still is much more firm than me, and can get DS to do things I can't!

Sparklingbrook Wouldn't let us watch ITV
Oh no! I did that to my dd! It was to prevent constant switching of channels, especially when she had friends round. What have I done?!

I'm another one who was given the cold shoulder for days at a time; I was forbidden to leave my room except to use the bathroom, had to eat in the kitchen while the others ate in the dining room, was forbidden to be in the same room as my mother. I vividly remember once crossing a busy road in town when I was about 8; she put her hand out in front of me as she usually would to hold my hand while we crossed, but when I took her hand, she shook my hand off hers as if she'd inadvertently put it in dog shit. It's very hard to work out how to have a normal relationship with someone after an upbringing like that.

I wasn't allowed long hair or a pair of jeans or a cardigan.

I live my mum to pieces but once she decided that was it.

My mother was always very pushy with me, making me do things I didn't want to do. She also chose all my school subjects for me and pooh-poohed all my career ideas. I've never forgiven her for that and never will.

She also wouldn't let me wear any clothes or shoes that were in fashion at the time. Her favourite phrase was "It's nice to be different, rather than the same as everyone else" Oh how I cringed. old cow

• no white clothes
• no 'making a mess'
• TV had to be 'educational'. DM will now watch big brother etc.. Hypocrite!
• haggling, everywhere..! (Kind of like this one now!)
• no junk food (I am strict ish on this too)
• no making a noise!?!
• they were always late to collect us & so felt a bit unloved!
• caring what other people thought. Yawn.
• passing comment on other people's lives/ choice of car / occupation what have you; just a bit random and bitchy!

Obviously I hope I've continued the good bits and do the opposite to how they did things in some cases...

Oh I remember the pain of being picked up late...will try never to do that to my son. Once in primary I broke my wrist on my bike on the weekend but was a lead part in the Xmas play at school so went in just to do the play and then go home...except neither parent turned up for me so I had to sit in the secretary's office for 90 mins waiting for them (fell asleep - also had stitches in my head!). When I was at boarding school and hadn't seen them for months they'd turn up super later to the summer sports day...miss all the sports. I'd trail miserably around between the boarding houses and sports pitch looking for them! Apart from that they were mostly lovely! I just don't think it ever crossed their mind to think about the worry to a child of being the last, by a good while, to be picked up.

fun thread!!
first world problems, right?!

My mum would always see the other persons point of view if I had an argument or disagreement. Sometimes you just need to know your mum is on your side.
Mine are only 2 and a half and 7 months but I'm determined that the will always know I have their back.

Ah, the 'no ITV' here as well. It was 'too common'.

We never went on holidays even though we lived in a big house and dad had a good job. Apparently we couldn't afford it (never worked out how they managed finances - now in their late 70s and they STILL have a mortgage even after v early retirement, fat lump sum and generous pension....!) and mum wouldn't go camping 'it's not a holiday for me,it's too much work'. So my first ever holiday was a day trip to London with them aged 12. Then the next with my boyfriend aged 18 to Spain. It was a revelation. Love holidays and make sure we do one even if we are strapped and it's cheap as chips. It's the being away and being together that counts.

Yes, definitely 1st world problem. And they did (do) love us a lot. And did lots of other good things to compensate, so. All is forgiven.

So now am thinking what my kids would write about me: always shouting about messy bedrooms, nagging about homework, making them sit at the table to eat meals together, bedtimes even up to age 16 (until exams finished), strict control of phones, computers and screen time.....? Definitely no secret compulsory Judo though, or sock washing. They made me laugh. A lot.

We weren't allowed to wear new clothes straight away. They had to be put away for best. I always put new clothes on immediately now.

Dad was really, really shouty. Saturday mornings were spent cleaning to his exacting standards if we wanted to earn our comics, Misty

Mine often ended up in the bin as I hadn't been good enough.

We had to be quiet, our music was banned but we had to listen to bloody marching band music all the time.

They think they were the bee's knees at parenting.

Blimey I feel guilty reading this because I obviously haven't appreciated my parents enough!

In fact the only time my mum used to irritate me was when she was too nice and loving! Whenever we were out meeting people she would tell anyone she could about all my (according to her) achievements and talents and I would cringe with embarrassment!

Thing is I do the same with DS!

Haha Ashbeee yes it would be funny to learn what our children would say about us.

I found a "pro/con" list once that DS had written about me. On the "Cons" side it was that I only let him have one piece of chocolate a day! My friends offered to call childline for him

Praise, affirmation, and hugs were somewhat limited when I look back on my generally happy 70's childhood
My DC get all these things - unconditional love basically - in bucket loads
But tbf to DM I know she was praised and hugged even less as her DP's thought it would "spoil her" apparently.
I think, obviously, it's all to the good - and essential really for our well-being and happiness
Such a wonderful thing to have a secure base from which to go out and explore the world.
So, hopefully I'm getting that bit more or less right which hopefully will mean I'm forgiven for all the rest!

Another thing is we only had a few clothes but always bought new whereas the DC and I have embraced charity shops and pass-on's from friends and cousins. I think charity shops are much better than they used to be though - everything smells so much fresher than it did in the 70's and 80's (when the shops had a distinctly musty aroma) and people have so much now that there is a lot to choose from. My dd (16) really enjoys a good browse, she's friendly with all the volunteers and planning on doing some volunteering herself this summer before sixth form.
We both think it's great that any money given goes straight to the charities
Also my DC have lots more cousins than we did growing up - I have more local friends than my DM did too - so lots of people offering us nice stuff

Ha! Love the comments about having new clothes for 'best'. My folks are like that with everything so they have cupboards full of clothes, crockery, cutlery etc. which is only for best at Christmas (much like the dishwasher mentioned earlier). I have tried so hard to break this pattern and just enjoy the things we have.

We had some shocking clothes growing up but looking back it was because it was cheaper for my mum to make them and they were struggling financially. Thing is it was never discussed so back then I really resented not having shop bought clothes. If they had explained I think i would have understood that, and all the other frugal things they did much better.

I try to be open with my DC about the cost of things, the need to work to get income. My DS understands what a mortgage is, that there isn't an unending supply of cash etc. I don't think it burdens children to understand simple economics but it WASN'T talked about...