Toddler and New Baby- Support thread!

[cowbiscuits]

Inspired by a thread last week where someone's DH was just going back to work... There's bound to be a lot of mums in this situation so I thought we could all have a rant, a laugh, and share any tips.

My DS2 is 7 weeks and DS2 is 2y9m. It's still a struggle when it's just us and I feel awful for my bigger boy who just wants me to play with him!

I dread the end of the weekend. But thanks to slings and ceebeebies we're all still alive!

Anyone else want to share? How are you all getting on?

Hi giraffe! I think we were on a pregnancy thread together, although I dropped off quite early on as found it hard to keep up!

How are you doing? Congratulations on your new baby, what did you have? I also had a c section and I'm finding this recovery harder than the first, mainly because I keep picking up my dd and therefore having more issues healing up.
I have the same sling, and managed to walk round to watch dd's swimming lesson today which was good. Ds is 3 weeks today.

I am also terrified about what will happen when my help stops. Everyone keeps telling me I'll cope, but I'm just not sure how! Arghhhhh

Hi Ibelieve yes I do remember you from a couple of threads I think. Congratulations on your little boy, great to hear he arrived safely.
It's good to hear that the sling is working 3 weeks in, maybe I will try it again in a few days. When is your first day without help?

Pink and Giraffe I use a close caboo sling and I had a section - I think I felt okay using it after nearly 4 weeks. Just helps with those times when baby cannot be put down yet there is stuff to do (eg wash the soiled stuff from a vomiting bug that hit DD1 and DH).
DD1 has bounced back from the illness much more than DH, who is lying on the sofa all day.

Ooh I'd like to join too please! Have a 21 month old DS and an 8 day old DD. DH still on leave but goes back next week-dreading it!!

I've actually just posted a thread asking for quiet activity ideas for my toddler. Please do share any that work for you!

First day without help isn't for a couple weeks yet. Although I suspect DH may have to 'urgently' work on one of the days he's due to have off... So prepared for it to be earlier!

Activities I have planned for dd... Stickers, crayons, aqua doodle, fuzzy felt book, snacks, and books. She won't watch tv (grrrrr) so that's out or I'd be using that too.

Ds keeps having marathon 2 hour feeds though.... Hoping that stops soon!

ibelieve ooh fuzzy felt, I remember that! Will have to get one of those. How old are your two?

It's funny isn't it-if DS wasn't interested in the TV at all I'd find it annoying but he's far too Interested-can't win! Whilst DH is home we're trying no TV at all just so he gets used to finding other stuff to do. Love the idea that this could continue but I know I might have to whack on CBeebies if when the going gets tough!

That's interesting re slings after a c-section, it sounds like I should be able to use it in a few days. dd won't really put down at the moment as we think she might have mild silent reflux so the sling will be a lifesaver when DH goes back to work.
Dd1 loves tv a bit too much but I'm guessing this will work to my advantage over the next few weeks. I love the idea of fuzzy felt though, I might have to look for some!

Lillipot that made me smile about your DD being very interested in eyes and ears! My DS is very interested in his new sisters eyes and ears and nostrils - and her belly button - poke, prod etc! She doesn't seem to mind and he hasn't made her cry but we keep repeating 'nicely' and 'gently' even though he doesn't speak much yet!

I hired a Close Caboo sling from the the sling library but haven't tried it properly yet. 2 weeks post c section and I've had/got a haematoma under my scar which is still weeping (nice!) but isn't painful and I've felt a lot less sore this time than when I had my ds by emcs.

Next week I think I might have one or two days on my own with both of them, it's the whole breastfeeding and entertaining the toddler at the same time issue that I'm wondering how I will manage - eek!

Congratulations to all of you with new babies! This thread could be a sanity keeping one!

Ha, how funny-my DS also loves to point out (I.e. poke) DDs eyes, ears and nose! Think all these babies are going to be pretty tough cookies.

rockchick I'm also going to have a couple of solo days next week. So nervous!

Eek Bobian - we will have to post how we get on! I'm still worried I shouldn't be lifting my DS as much but he isn't too large luckily... Ceebeebies will be on all day!

I am on my own from Wednesday onwards. I am completely dreading it, especially as my toddler seems to have hit the terrible 2s a bit early. We are having tantrum after tantrum and I can't even pick her up!

Good luck purple!! My DS is 21 months and also seems to have hit the terrible twos. The tantrums are quite something! Sometimes, I'll just ask if he wants to read a book, or something else totally inoffensive, and he'll scream "noooooooo!" whilst stamping his feet and clenching his fists

Make sure you keep us updated with how you're getting on and any tips you can pass on will be gratefully received

I spent ages looking for the fuzzy felt book, not many places do them any more! The one we have is from m and s, dd (20 months) loves it.

Ds seems to be going through another growth spurt! No idea how to manage these when I have help, never mind when I'm on my own. 6 hours straight of feeding is just not manageable with a toddler!

Can I join please? Dd1 is 2.5 and dd2 is 3 weeks so we are all still adjusting. I had an elcs which was fabulous but overestimated my recovery and now have an infection... anyway, baby is a doddle and just eats and sleeps happily in her basket through all the noise the toddler makes. Toddler is the challenge at the moment...she needs to run around a lot and we need a car to go anywhere...And the doctor told me off for driving too soon...And the weather is horrid (Scotland) so haven't even been able to get into the garden...

Well DD1 has arrived and at 4 days old we are currently sitting in the hospital watching her sunbathe under uV due to jaundice we had her home for 2 days before having to come in. poor DS1 is confused, his grandad keeps randomly appearing when mummy and daddy are missing so he wakes up to someone totally different doing his routine. It has been a really hard week this week. I was induced on Monday, gave birth on Tuesday, came home weds after a fairly rough time, cluster fed Thursday and Friday nights and have been in a and e/hospital since 10am... I feel awful turning DS1's world so far upside down when it wasn't meant to be this complicated and am struggling with all the hormones in my system. I know it will get better but right now I am struggling.

Congratulations nanny but sorry you've had such a rough time

Hope DD1 gets better soon. Please don't worry about DS1. It's a weird time for him, but things will start to settle down, and he will be absolutely fine, i promise!

Congratulations Nanny. Hope your baby daughter gets out of hospital soon.
Your son will be fine, my DD1 has woken to my parents getting her up and fed a few times recently and some big changes with a house move 3 months ago, new sister 1 month ago and is just fine. She's 17 months so similar age to your son. I do have my moments of worrying about her but then my DH points out how happy she is with "bibby".
Try to get a rest yourself when you can (!?) and hopefully it won't be too long before you're getting into the swing of things.

Congratulations nanny. Hope you get home soon

We've also had mega disruption due to the c section, had all and sundry here looking after dd/taking her to swimming lessons etc. Just this week she is going to stay at granny and grandads overnight as I can't yet lift her properly. Sure she will be positively bored when it is back to just me and her! (And new ds of course...)

I'm finding it more manageable now at 9 weeks. I was surprised how quickly I got used to being the only adult and although I was dreading the first day without DH it was actually fine. I think it helps to have really small goals eg Day 1: all get dressed and fed, Day 2: get dressed, fed, and leave house. Then you can congratulate yourself in the evening for achieving everything!

Oh and at 9 weeks, I'm still pleased with myself for getting us all clean and fed and out the door

Hi all
Lost this thread, too busy looking after a toddler and a newborn
We are 4 weeks in here and having a few minor issues.
I am also struggling with not being able to lift dd1 after my c-section. She gets upset and wants to be picked up on our short trips out, and generally misbehaves which means I am feeling pretty tied to the house, no idea what I am going to do with her over the next couple of days as all the usual groups are off over the summer. She is also having lots of tantrums which is exhausting.
Jessica is also very unsettled, after a couple of doctor appointments we think it is silent reflux but not 100% sure. We tried baby gaviscon which worked a bit but we have now been given ranitidine so fingers crossed for a happier baby.
Hope everyone is doing ok!

Hope things have improved for you Really and Nanny?

Can I join in? Seriously in need of some tips! Ds is 19 months and dd will be 3 weeks on Saturday. We're doing great......as long as dp is here. He's only had two days back at work and although we all got dressed and fed nothing else was achieved. To make matters worse ds has got a virus and had to go to hospital last night his temperature was so high.
One of the main things I'm struggling with is bf-I just never know when dd will need feeding or how long for. So far all of our trips out have involved dp playing with ds whilst I feed,I have no idea how I'd manage feeding dd out and about with ds there. Any tips or ideas?
The other thing is I'm missing ds. I've been making an effort to do his bath every night and put him to bed but I'm used to doing more with him. Dp does loads with him and I'm a bit . Ds doesn't seem to be missing me at all (which is generally a good thing- I do see that!) but cries when dp leaves now.

Nicky no advice but I am having the same problem. I need to go into town later but I'm not sure I can deal with both children, considering that dd1 doesn't listen to a word I say and I am not supposed to lift her yet. No idea how I would control her in general, let alone during a feed!

Well, just had a horrendous two hours. In his infinate wisdom dp didn't wake me half an hour before he had to set off to work (as I'd asked him to)but 3.5 minutes before he had to go so had to get dressed/stuff ready for the day/eat breakfast etc with tiny baby crying and poorly bigger baby absolutely screaming. Had to feed dd with ds desperately trying to get onto my lap.They've worn themselves out now and are both asleep. I thought that getting them to sleep at the same time would be the Holy Grail but I'm starting to think one at a time would be easier!