How old is too old for another baby?

[nodramamama]

OH and I had said we'd not have a second child as we're all settled and feels like we're getting 'back to normal' and our son will start school soon anyway. But at 38,I'm now feeling this is our final chance, and would we regret if we didn't try again for a second.
My first pregnancy was great but not the birth, but apart from that, I think we could do it... Could my body?

How old is too old, given that I'm nearly 39 so little one would probably be born when I'd be 40...

Thing is - DD2 was a great sleeper. Much easier baby and I sailed through most of it. I'd be interested to know if people found that their children with a 5 yr age gap really spent much time together voluntarily until post uni?

Ha ha yes good point . OH and I haven't broached the subject again yet, hopefully tomorrow night as we'll have some one to one time with no distractions. Thanks so much to all comments as they've given me lots to ponder and all very valid points.

Whatever you do, don't take ages to decide that you DO want another one. I have recently discovered that my body age 38 is nowhere near as fertile as it was at 35.

Having read your reasons for not having another, I think you should go for it and go for it quickly. You won't regret a second baby in the circumstances you describe; it may be hard for a bit, but not for long and you will move onto the next stage. You may however end up bitterly regretting not having had another.

Had my first at 40 and due my second in Aug at 44. Couldn't care less about being the oldest mum (if I am) as someone has to be! As for any angst about dealing with a teenager in my 60s, well, they seem to be hell whenever you experience it and at least I spent my 20s and 30s fancy free! All swings and roundabouts. I'd say you are definitely not too old (but that was obviously coming, eh? ).

Thanks both, I got a coil fitted a month ago when we thought we'd decided but it's not taken well, perhaps a sign! Still unsure but we'll talk about it tonight

My mum had me at 35 and my sister at 38 and back then she was considered an older mother. These days there are lots of older mothers around. I have friends who have had their second babies at 43 and 44. One of my friends is turning 60 this year with a 16 year old, but she looks much younger. My own mum settled into old age in her 60s and has never been hands on with my children.

Hi Jingle mine was the same isn't very hands on, but she lives in another country, probably for the best

I would say early 40s, after that it can be a physical struggle even if you're very fertile and fit.

For me I'm 34 my dh is 40 if it doesn't happen by the end of the year then I'm done I'll be 35 in jan and for me that's old enough.

I have friends having them at 38 and 40 but that's not for me

40,41,42,43 all seem fine. But 49??!!! I feel very sad for the child. He or she will, on average, have a mother for 20 years less than the hold born to a mother who gives birth at the average of 29. Plus may well be dealing with age related illnesses such as dementia etc when in her teens or twenties.

My father had me at 49. He passed away four years ago. A spectacular dad. He suffered from dementia though and in my late teens and early twenties I was dealing with issues I would be far far better equipped to deal with now, at the age of 34.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and comments, we've talked things out and agreed that we are going to stop at 1. If we'd been able to start having kids earlier it would have possibly been different, but as things stand we're nearly 39 and 42 now and the risks for baby and challenges for us would be too great. It's difficult to admit you're not a spring chicken anymore

Had first at 37, second at 39 and third at 41, considered another but decided enough. A friend of mine started for her 2nd at 45 and got pg first time trying. Shes 50 now with 5 year old. Don't leave it too long tho.

Nodrama unless there's a specific health issue 39 isn't terribly risky and never has been unusual for siblings historically, just 1st babies. Just in case that's the sole basis of your decision iyswim ...