Guilt about going to a children's centre as a well off middle class person

[JuniorAngler]

I go to my local children's centre fairly regularly. I discovered it though midwife appointments which were held there, and after DC was born have made use of the regular stay and play sessions, baby massage classes etc, which are all free.

None of my NCT group ever went there, and it was clear that most of the other parents attending were perhaps from the poorer end of the socioeconomic scale, but people were friendly and I've kept going back, and I have a good time as does DC.

I've recently learnt more about how children's centres work, and it seems their main aim is to target as many resources as possible towards the poorer most deprived families and children. And I also leant about how underfunded they are.

This made me worry that by taking advantage of all these free sessions, I am taking money and resources away from a less well off family that could really use them more than me...

I could easily afford to attend all the £10 a session music and rhyming baby classes that my NCT group seem to prefer, it's just they seemed a bit of a waste of money when I had the children's centre stuff available for free!

I may be over thinking this, but should I feel guilty? Or should childrens centre resources be available to all regardless of income?

I am not specially well off, but as my partner and I pay more than a fair amount of tax, I feel like I am contributing enough for my kids to be entitled to the same children centre/ schools etc.. than anyone else.

No guilt whatsoever!

I go to one regularly and it keeps me sane. Its a few minutes from my door and its a lovely place, a safe and friendly space. I haven't got many friends locally so it stops me being isolated in the week. The midwife and HV clinics run from there. The breastfeeding cafe there is almost all "professional" type middle class mums. I did baby massage etc there.

If nobody went to these centre they'd close.

I too used to go to a deprived children's centre, it was brilliant.

I too feel a little uncomfortable enjoying this amazing service for free. So the way I assuaged my guilt was to donate, donate, donate. I gave my fantastic pram, a pushchai, clothing etc. The woman who inherited my pram apparently cried when she received it.

Anyway, if you feel guilty, don't talk about it. Do something about it.

I LOVED our local CC when my kids were little. It was utterly brilliant for children. Wonderful staff with an imaginative range of things to do. I learned a lot there and I'm your stereotypical affluent m/c SAHM.

We subsequently moved abroad and I missed it terribly.

I work for sure start and we welcome everybody and any body! So don't feel guiltthem.these services are provided for anyone who wants to use them

Your MW wouldnt have mentioned it to you if it wasnt for you and your baby you enjoy it your baby enjpys it you have nothing to be guilty about at all. If you are feeling guilty you could donate to their christmas appeal orsomething. Parents should not be set in columns imo

We dont have surestart in Scotland and very few childrens centres which is a shame i think they are a great service

I love children's centres and have attended local centres since DS1 was born over 5 years ago, I have done baby peeps twice, baby massage, getting ready for preschool, a parenting course and pop in and play nearly every week for several years! I have been a parent rep and also on the advisory board although not for a little while now. I second everyone who has said not to feel guilty and that you are helping with their numbers by attending. They are such fantastic places to go - I am looking forward to taking DD when she is a bit older!

In Wales similar places target families from certain postcodes. So basically if you live in a house with a certain postcode, it doesn't matter if you earn £100 k, you are a target family and we get 'points' for every group you attend. There are many 4 bedroom detached houses in these 'target' postcode areas, God knows how they work them out. So you could ask them if your address is ones of the addresses of people they are meant to be working with.
That said no one gets turned away. The only problem I ever found working in such places was you would get a big click of mums who maybe weren't 'target' families who would make other, often younger, less experienced / confident, affluent mums uncomfortable which would put them off attending groups.

No need for you to feel guilty. I'm fortunate enough not to be on low income, but I used my local children's centre loads when I had my DS. I saw my midwife there when pregnant and so learnt all about it then.

We live rurally and although I can drive, if I stayed home I literally wouldn't see a soul!!

With DH working during the week when I was on maternity leave, the children's centre was a life line for me. I'd had a hideous birth experience and just felt isolated and lonely. Being able to see other people and chat to the staff really helped.

Our centre took donations of baby things to give to people who may be struggling to afford things for their baby so I donated lots of things that my DS was finished with but were still in very good condition as I wanted to give something back.

FWIW my DC are 10 and 8 and still remember the children's centre fondly. We even sing some of Sally's Songs on occasion. They can tell you what they did/bake/drew/played with. Even if you feel 'guilty' making use of it, in the nicest possible way it isn't about your feelings, its there to benefit your children. I don't mean that as a preachy lecture just that it might help thinking about it from your DC perspective.

I'm glad you've been reassured. And it is good to hear that by going you are actually helping.

I go with DS to my local sure start a lot, to drop in sessions, breastfeeding clinic and courses by invitation. I'm reasonably well off and always make sure I give the suggested donation if there is one. Like others, I have donated items and have supported fund raising events.

I also love mixing with a large groups of mums and babies from various backgrounds.

Recently the centre sent an email out asking for feedback as they are expecting an Ofsted visit. I was very pleased to be able to write a glowing report and what was really lovely was that I got an email back saying they were astounded by the response.

They really are fab places

I'm in Scotland and always very jealous of these centres as they sound fab. We have nothing where I live, not even a mothers and toddlers. It's very isolating.

I loved going to my lical childrens center during mat leave.

If you enjoy it more than the 10gbp nct group why dont you donate that to the childrens center and keep going?

Mine was a lifeline and I have made so many good friends because of it. No deprived people really came to ours. Those I've spoken to were a bit prejudice towards it as they thought the hv's ran it. Surestart was particularly good for my husband as the groups were titled inclusively rather than some of the paid ones with names like "mother and baby".