Come and talk to me about table manners for 6 year olds....

[heritagewarrior]

What are the house rules at the dinner (or breakfast or lunch) table in your house? I don't think we're doing very well in our house and I'm after some perspective!

I won't go into how difficult it is with an 8YO with ADHD and 6yo DTs but posting about the kneeling thing:

If we didn't have Tripp trap chairs at right height we'd be continually battling this as normal chairs are still the wrong height. Also when the eight year old sits on a normal chair he can't sit still and indeed rocks the chair back and then forward continually (one day he will crack his chin and/or bite his tongue). Tripp Tapps seem to stop this.

We sit as a family at the table no kneeling mouth closed we talk about our day when been out either at school work ect.. Kids have to ask to leave table when done and they clear plates, they always say please and thank you.

I have an only but I come from a fam of 6 and we are all still relatively close and the cousins are too. I am prob a bit more laid back than others but still have rules although we have never laid them out - but shown by example. I don't think it all came together till around 8 or 9 and I think it would be worse if there were younger ones.

We have bum on your seat rule, Use your cutlery, don't guzzle your drink (& fill yourself up) please & thank you's and also ask to get down. If there is something half way decent on TV we have it on, but do also chat over it. I know my parents do the elbow thing but I am not too fussed, but DD picked it up from them, we also do the have a taste but you don't have to eat it if you really don't like it and it ebbs and flos a bit as to how much is eaten - every so often we have the conversation regarding not eating tea and then trying to get snacks all evening. She is quite into being healthy so we usually have the discussion around that rather than an out and out no desserts etc - I try and make her make the choice about her behaviour and "guide" her into the one I want - lol

I absolutely hate children kneeling at the table but nearly every child that eats here does that.
It really pees me off and I always ask them to sit properly.

And "no texting at the table"

(nor mobile devices for that matter)

Mine are a bit older now, but I am fairly sure I imposed these when they were 6:

• bums on chairs, which in turn have 4 feet on the floor (does require chairs of the right height to be enforceable - ours were both still on Tripp trap chairs at 6)
• ask to start, ask to get down
• chew with your mouth closed
• it's not finger food unless a parent says so
• neither is it a lollipop
• don't talk with your mouth full
• we don't sing to the table

Come to the table when called.
Say thank you.
Bum on seat.
Use cutlery properly.
No pudding unless all veg/salad gone.

Drink all water.
Ask to leave table.
Take plate and cup to sink.

DS is 5. Ds2 is on the way... I fear it's all gone too easy so far...

All meals at the table, eaten together. Cutlery when appropriate. May I leave the table. No elbows. No eating with mouths open or talking with mouths full. Help lay the table, clear it and deal with dishwasher in turns.

Three children 6-14.

If friends or family visit, same rules on mouths.

DS1 is now 7 but these rules have been in place pretty much since he was out of his highchair and sitting up to "big table":
• Sit properly on the chair
• Chew with mouth closed
• Don't gulp drink
• Use fork (and knife) where appropriate, not fingers
• Don't talk with your mouth full

I would have liked to have included:
• Don't leave the table when others are still eating - but sadly DH fucked that one up because he always leaves the table first, rude, but he's an adult so I can't stop him
• Say thank you for his dinner - he does this sometimes but again, hard to enforce with DH's poor example in front of him. He does do it spontaneously now he's 7 and has been to other people's houses where it is a rule, which is rather nice. :)
• Ask to leave the table - he does this sometimes, but not because I enforced it, more again from following other people's example.

He lays the table when I remember to ask him, and he now always puts his stuff in either the sink or the dishwasher as appropriate. And says thank you for his dinner quite often too.

My parents also had "no elbows on the table" but I haven't bothered with that one. We all eat dinner together at the table every night; lunch used to always be at the table before he went to school, and breakfast is always at the table, but owing to different start times, he's usually breakfasting alone.

Oh god, we are terrifically unambitious in this. Our rules are you have to bite or lick a bit of everything and if you need to jiggle or jump you have to get down to do it. Also no TV until everyone is finished. I keep thinking we're going to have to devise some sort of gold standard for when they are out but they aren't really up for it yet (4 &2). So impressed at PP standards. I'm just pleased they eat a good range of healthy food - I feel a bit anxious about jinxing this so am very lax chilled about table manners....

Oh I forgot we have a "no reading at the table" rule, which will later become "no electronics at the table" - but we do watch tv at dinner time. We still chat as well, but it's on in the background.

We have a few rules like, Don't eat with your mouth open, use your knife and fork one that I had to introduce because of DS 6 ..... If you must pass wind at the table DO NOT do it by standing on your chair, whilst singing "listen to this, it's too good to miss' and then letting rip

the rules are sitting at the table properly, waiting for everyone to be ready before starting, you have to eat a significant amount and lots of veg for pudding, say thank you to whoever cooked, and wait for everyone to be finished then ask if you can get down.